telling the boss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sunnieside, May 14, 2003.

  1. sunnieside

    sunnieside New Member

    I have FM and am scared to death to tell my boss that I either need to work less hours and/or take a less stressful position somewhere else in the office.

    Anyone have experience with this? Maybe I should talk to a lawyer to see if my employer can fire me. Anyone know of any good websites about employee workplace rights?

    I know employees have certain rights when they are hurt on the job but when they get ill, I am not sure what the rights are.


  2. Princessraye

    Princessraye New Member


    Please find out what your rights are before you speak to your boss.
    Your Dr. may also have some advice in this area and may be able to write a letter for you.

    You are in my prayers.
  3. GlitterPott

    GlitterPott New Member

    yes I have experience on that. I know exactly how you must feel, how scared you must be.
    First of all, find someone who is easy to talk to. Did you have FM when you got your job? Whether you did or not, say you were diagnosed recently, that way you didnt lie to anyone when you applied for the job. If you have signed a contract, they cannot fire you without so many warnings, verbal and written etc. If they fire you without good reason you could have them in court so quick they wont know whats hit them. Its discrimination so they cant fire you.
    I was lucky with my employer, they were very understanding and said if I needed time off I could take it. You never know, you might be just as lucky!!
    I send you all the luck in the world and lots of hugs.
    Take care
    Shelley xxxx
  4. me-n-fred

    me-n-fred New Member

    I must tell you, I think you are incredibly brave and strong to consider talking to your boss. Personally, I could never bring myself to do it. I was too afraid of what they'd say, the questions they'd ask (and not being able to respond to them well enough because of my fibro brain!) and just being wrongly judged overall. Plus, gossip travels like wildfire where I worked (I quit a little over 2 weeks ago...) and I didn't want the rest of the company knowing also.

    Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I'd definitely talk to someone beforehand though, a lawyer or something, just to find out what your rights are.

    Good luck!!!!!!
  5. Tango2

    Tango2 New Member

    I had been suffering in silence for a few years then decided to tell my boss that I couldn't do it anymore. I wrote it in a letter and put it on her desk. That way I could think carefully about what to say. It worked and she was very supportive. I know that workman's comp is an option if stress in the workplace caused the illness in the state of Fl.

    Good Luck,



    My first question to you would be: What state do you live in?

    I can only answer for the state of California.

    First of all, you should never be afraid to talk to your boss about your medical condition. employer cannot ask you during your initial interview if you have any disabilities or if you have ever filed a w/comp claim. They can however provide you with a job description and ask you if you are able to perform all of the duties of the job for which you are applying for.

    Second of all, have you worked for you employer for more than 1 year and reside in the state of Ca?

    If you answer is yes, then you are eligible for the Family Medical Leave Act, which entitles you to a 12 week medical leave which you can take in piece work as long as you have a medical notice requesting such leave. For example: If one day you are off work or need to leave early, and the doctor's note specifically states that you may need to leave early on occasions due to your illness, those hours/days will be deducted from your 12 weeks. But please keep in account that during your FMLA, you will not receive wages unless you request vacation time or sick time. You need to find out if you leave early, you need to find out if your employer will pay your vac/sick time in piece meal.

    3rd...once you have exhausted your FMLA leave, you can then apply for the company medical leave as long as you provide your employer with the necessary documentation from your doctor. Some employers will allow up to 4 months medical leave of absence. Please check your employee handbook and find out what it takes to qualify for this particular leave. During this leave, I would suggest that you apply for State Disability.

    4th...when all the above has exhausted, chances are you may be able to take a leave of absence, depending on your company policy.

    5th...again, only if you reside in Ca and have worked for your employer for 1+ years and if they deny you your FMLA rights, then you can file with the Employment & Housing Board what they call a 132A which is basically wrongful termination. They will conduct an investigation of your company's past practices based on the company policies and issue violations if necessary, with the likelyhood for you to return to your former position with back pay.

    One more thing...there is a website called, where employees meet to discuss job issues.

    Hope this helps.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/14/2003]
  7. healing

    healing New Member

    I am a supervisor with FM and I have an employee with FM. I agree that you need to be very cautious as you move forward, and do your research first. Don't assume your boss will be unsympathetic, but remember he/she has a job to get done and that has to be their first consideration. Do you know of a job you could move to? Think this through and don't go in with wishful thinking but offer some achievable suggestions about how it might work. Who will do your job? Is there someone else in the office who might trade with you who is competent to do your job? Do you have any skills that would be useful elsewhere in the office? You really need to consider these practical issues and go in prepared to address them.

    Too often, we hurt ourselves by operating out of our hurt and our hearts rather than our heads. Your boss will respond more positively if he/she sees you as part of a solution rather than more of a problem and if you can keep from being emotional during your conversation.

    That's my best advice. Good luck to you!