Terrible panic and fear

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by krchamp, Apr 21, 2006.

  1. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    Hi everyone. I haven't posted on this board in a long time (just didn't really feel like being on the internet). I came home from work early because I am just a nervous wreak today. I decided to get on the internet to distract myself and pulled up my favorites page and there was the link to this site - Divine intervention possible.

    Everyday my anxiety is getting worse and worse. I don't even want to go to work. Not just from the pain but I am always a nervous wreak. It seems to be progressing. I have always had slight anxiety but it is just out of control now. I feel uncomfortable anywhere in public anymore. The slightest thing bothers me. This morning, when I got up, the wireless computer system was down. I acted like there was a death in the family. I was so upset. I finally got it up and working and went on to work - I was a mess!

    I was suppose to be a co-hostess of a party for my best friend's husband tonight, but the thought of going scares me to death. So, I called the other co-host and told her what was happening and she is taking care of it. I feel so guilty...and that makes the panic worse...and the the guilt intensifies. It is a vicious cyle. Sometimes I wonder if I am just losing it. I feel like a complete basket case. I just want to sit in my den and cry.

    I am so sorry to bother everyone. I tried to talk to my husband but he is on a deadline and working feverishly. I called my mom but she was busy at work too. I just feel lost and alone. My two dogs are the only ones listening to me today and even they look aggrevated.

    I don't know what to do to decrease my stress, guilt and panic today. Any suggestions? Sorry if this post is a little scattered my mind isn't working very good right now.

    Thanks for listening!
    Kristi
  2. UnicornK

    UnicornK New Member

    Gentle hugs to you. I relate to what you're going through. I have PTSD. Luckily, through counseling and medication I have it under control...most of the time.

    The worst of it was right after 9/11. Every time a jet went overhead I panicked. And that was alot because I live in a flight path for Andrews Air Force base.

    Now I use distraction and relaxation techniques. It took a while to learn them, but they are worth it. I use music, a form of Lamaze (relaxation), and books. I also take valerian (an herb) to help sleep at night, and if I need it during the day for relaxation.

    Talk to your doctor about different treatments. And when it gets really bad, you can call the emergency psychiatric line. Most states have at least one.

    I hope some of this helps. God Bless.
  3. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    Thanks! Crazy thing is- I am a psychotherapist myself. It seems I can help other people but can't help myself. I feel helpless.

    My doc gives me xanax for sleep but I am afraid to take it other times. I am so afraid of getting hooked on them.

    I guess I feel really that I can't or won't go to the party tonight. These are my best friends but I just can't go. There is going to be a woman there tonight that has had 3 children and pregnant with another- that she didn't want. She is the type of person that likes to be the center of attention - she is loud and obnoxious.

    I have had 5 miscarriages - the latest one being about a month ago. So being around a pregnant woman right now is not my idea of fun...especially this pregnant woman, but that makes me feel selfish and guilty. I feel like I should be there because the party is for my friends. I have talked with my best friend and she understand. She suffered a miscarriage too a little over a year ago, but I still feel bad.

    Kristi
  4. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    Elizabethton is about 10 minutes away from Johnson City. I will get my husband to go and get some. I need it really bad. My husband has done some work at Oak Ridge. He is a Federal Investigator.

    Are you still in TN?

    Kristi