write such a wonderfully supportive letter to me! You'll never know just how much it meant! Scratch that....I believe you will in heaven! I am sorry that you, too, were having a "crying" day as well. I hope any troubles I'm sharing here on the board do not bring you or other members down. I want you to know that I started praying for you the moment I read your response. If there's anything specific you'd ever like me to pray for, just let me know, and it will be a "done deal." I seem to be much better at praying for others than for myself! Thank you for your reminders that we have a Savior who is well-acquainted with suffering and trials and that He reigns victoriously and will be with us always....."I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Verses and parts of verses I memorized as a child come back to me--His promise that His Word will never return void. As I had shared with another member here, many situations in my life seemed to blow up in my face after realizing I had not given 100% to the Lord and took steps to remedy that. I have often wondered if that happened because I angered Satan and he wanted to destroy the life and testimony of someone who was willing to give God her all, or was God punishing me for past sins or simply testing my then newer level of commitment, or was it a combination of these (?). The extremely rough times have been going on for three years. I finally succumbed to depression (never had it before other than the occasional situational type that everyone has in life in reaction to trauma) two years ago. I must say that battling with clinical depression has been the toughest battle I've faced. It far surpasses other more outwardly traumatic things I've gone through. I think that is partly because it may be the accumulative effect of all those things I've gone through as well as obviously interfering with my coping abilities. I don't know how I'm going to go on working harder than I did before. I've been in school or working full time all my life w/o a break, and I'm not young. Dixie, I must admit I've complained bitterly to the Lord about this. I know that that is a sin, but I'm so bone weary and in pain most of the time. All of this caused me to get angry with God and lose hope in the past months. I'd gotten to the point where I wondered if He even existed. I had never, even doubted that before. Thankfully, just recently due to my desperation, and I firmly believe due to the prayers of wonderful, caring people like yourself, I've started to reach feebly back to the Lord. Praise God, my faith is being restored! It may be the mustard-seed type faith, but it is certainly better than being in the utter depths of spiritual despair. Thank you again for your sweet reply to my posting. I still need on-going prayer for increased faith and wisdom and a healing in some super stressful areas of my life. Again, please let me know if there's anything for which I can pray in terms of your needs and I certainly will do so. In spite of my pain, I do not want to be selfish but remember always that there are others in this world whose needs are just as great if not more so. May God through His only Son, Christ Jesus richly bless you and watch over you. Jude 24 & 25. Much love and prayers.