Thanks Catgal !!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by susabar, Feb 16, 2003.

  1. susabar

    susabar New Member

    Your post was very kind, and most encouraging as tomorrow is Monday. I am very worried as it is so easy to aggravate this FM, and so difficult to get it calmed down again. It used to be that my job was nice and once in a great while you had an impossible day, since cutbacks and increased volume it's the other way around!!!
    i could go on and on...
    Thanks !!
  2. catgal

    catgal New Member

    "Thank You" for acknowledging my post Sue. I just know how you feel, and those feelings alone can be extremely anxiety-ridden and stressful even before work begins. I know by Monday evening when I'm worn out again from just taking care of life's ordinary chores--I wonder how in the world I am going to make it through 8 hours work tomorrow, the next day, and the next.

    Plus, much like the cutbacks and increased volume of workload you mentioned--my job is very demanding as I have to cram 5 days work into 3 in order to keep the position part-time....for if I can't get all the clients seen and all the work done in 3 days--they will make the position full time, and I would lose my job because I just could not do the 40 hours physically. So for those 3 working days, I have to push myself beyond my limits--but know I can crash for two days afterwards, and then still have two days left to take care of chores & errands.

    These illnesses will force us to make hard decisions followed by sacrifices in order to maintain some type of quality of life. Leaving my high paying job with such good benefits (retirement and especially insurance) was an excruiating decision, and I had to make alot of financial sacrifices and lifestyle adjustments--and not having any benefits, retirement, or health insurance was a real blow. But looking back on it...I stayed in that full time job too long, and I have continued to pay the price for it. I don't believe I would have near the health problems I have now had I gotten out sooner and lightened the load on my body.

    Though some chronically ill people have sympathic employers who allow them flexible working hours and accommodations--I believe that those are the exceptions rather than the rule. "Business is Business" and a chronically ill person is often considered a liability due to special needs, time off for doctor's appointments, and absenteeism. I know I have missed more work in the last two years than I have in my entire working career, plus, last year I also took a month off for medical leave to get treatments on my back every other day--and my employer did not appreciate this. And, it did put a hardship on the Program I work for because I am the only therapist at the Center. And, the whole month I was off trying to get some healing--I was stressed out and worried about my job.

    Business has a life of its own and its goal is to satisfy itself. It doesn't care if you are chronically ill, going to work worn out, or that you are bedridden over the weekend. Business wants production. And the bottom line is that if you can't do it "their way", then they will find someone who can.

    So, in the end....we are the ones who have to take care of ourselves and our health. We could die on the job, but Business would just keep going. I had to decide what my health was "worth to ME" and make my decisions based on that. I had to weigh the physical demands on my damaged body plus the psychological stress and emotional anxiety against a job I loved, having money to do whatever I wanted, and $15,000 in benefits. It was an agonizing decision to resign, but a necessary one. And though there were alot of changes and adjustments to my lifestyle--I have never regretted it--and looking back now 10 years later....realized I stayed in that job too long.

    Unless you can negotiate a workable schedule with your employer, I would seriously consider updating your resume and looking for a do-able, part-time job that can pay the bills and save your health. We are growing older with chronic illnesses that are not going to go away. And it seems the older we get--the bigger toll these illnesses take on our body, mind, and spirit. And our spirit needs to thrive~~not just exist. We need happiness, contentment, peace, and time in our lives in order for it to have meaning. What I gave up in my full time job has been replaced by these qualities. I no longer suffer from depression, and I have discovered Joy in simple things.

    I believe that everything in our lives happens for a reason; that there is 'purpose' and 'direction' if we are willing to listen and take action on what we know is best for ourselves.

    If you find that you cannot meet the demands of your job due to your illness--then do not stress yourself out over it. Follow the path of least resistance, do the right thing, and new doors will open for you. Have Faith in yourself and listen to that small, inner voice that is guiding you. It will all work itself out in a harmony and balance you never knew before.

    So, go to work Monday with a smile on your face and Faith in your heart, do the best you can, and listen to that inner voice--it will guide you. If your boss remains unsympathic and difficult and things are not working out for you--this is not a disaster--it is a sign that it is time to turn the page and move on to another level of life and living. The time is right.

    So, take care of yourself my Dear, and just let life unfold without stressing yourself. All will be well. Pace yourself, and have a Good Tomorrow. Carol....