Sorry I am so late in responding to all the good thoughts of the people on the message board. We got back on a Monday and I had an appointment with my rheumatologist Tuesday -- three hours another direction. My DIL was pissy on Saturday and Monday but extra nice Sunday. They both wanted us to leave Sunday but my DH was into a longer visit. I read a book most of the time I was there. DIL wanted to take me shopping but I said I could only do the party. Then the party was rained out -- it was on a pony farm --so was cancelled. I said I would like to eat out but my DH chose a noisy steak house where you throw peanut shells on the floor and you couldn't hear yourself talk. I went directly to bed and then found out the next morning son and DIL had gone to Target to get a smaller cake and they all had a party and opened the gifts we brought and sang Happy Birthday. Son mentioned the next morning I had missed the party and I said if I had known there was going to be one I would have stayed up. I'm not a mind reader. I was so glad you thought taking a book would be a good idea. Hadn't thought about handwork. You could appear to be listening and have a reason to sit for an hour or two.