thanks for the welcome

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by massmike, Jul 4, 2003.

  1. massmike

    massmike New Member

    Thanks to everyone who responded to my first post and made me feel welcome. I am very close to taking my docs advise and going on short term disability. Scary for me because work has been a break to my isolation but also going to work has been a way of denying this is getting worse.

    I have been having swelling behind my knees. Does anyone else get that, and I thought the whole thing was that there was pain without swelling???

    Its weird reading posts and seeing things people have suffered from that I have never mentioned to anyone for fear of them not believing. I guess it is good but also throws the reality of this in my face. I wish I would stop trying to believe this isnt real but since people cant see it, it is easy to fall into a pattern of faking it, not talking about it, and then at night having it really hit me hard. I very much want to be positive in here but I think I have to get thru a bit of a stage.

    mike
  2. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    you never wanted to join! :)

    You and I are about the same age [shhh!, I know we're not old, but I've sorta stopped counting] so have probably similar issues, esp when it comes to dating and/or relationships, cause this illness will definitely interfere with that!!

    I think the short term dis is a very good idea.

    If I could turn back time, that's what I would have done at first.

    I forced myself to work for too long and it worsened my health and my prognosis.

    Now I am on gov't dis benefits which are lower than what I would be getting on ltd which i paid for while working. But, i thought if I could just work part time I would get the rest I needed, recover and then get another full time job.

    that does work for some people, but when it doesn't, you can be up the creek without a paddle.

    Joining a support group for CFS did wonders for me so, i highly recommend you search for a support group. Sometimes you can make good friends in that environment.

    please fill out your profile on this board and let us know what area you live in, etc. could it be mass achusetts? [sp? - forgive me, I'm Canadian]

    People may be able to recommend good supports in your area, hopefully.

    Yes, isolation can be a problem.

    I hope you can find ways of resolving it. Some people on this board have ideas.

    I feel lonely sometimes and really really miss having a good girl friend who lives close, but isolation is not a HUGE issue for me. Too many people around my apt complex, in fact I sometimes go out of my way to avoid them, because I don't feel well enough to chat. Plus I have a bunch of contacts now from my support group, tho not extremely close to any anymore, except one fellow who is my current best friend. He lives close by, so that makes it easy for us to be supports to one another. [Unfortunately, since I'm having new additional problems it's been more of a one-sided him supporting ME lately, but he is more functional anyways and has a car, I don't, and he can lift things, I can't right now due to neck/arm problem]

    Also, I get asked out occasionally, so *meeting* men is not a big problem for me, I'm just not well enough for a regular relationship, so I haven't been able to follow up on any of the recent date requests. The men I meet don't get the illness [I don't LOOK sick, right?] and when they DO realize or get an idea of how disabled I am, the tendency is to run for the hills.

    Anyhow, I hope you find a way to decrease your isolation while getting the rest you need to improve your health.

    Keep us posted of your progress, please.
  3. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    I cannot tell you how many times working at clinic with many fm pts. As soon as I told them I am them so tell me everything. Tears would flow men and women both. They found someone who understood made so much diff. They would tell me things they said they never told anyone. Felt so much better after just admitting it and saying finally.

    We all go through the denial stuff. I did same at work till they litterally pulled up off floor X 2. I still keep apart in denial. It helps me to not give in.

    Have you been checked for lyme/ only 2-3 labs that give true results. Normally ins. will not pay. LLMD sometimes uses history. Do not have to have bullseye rash only about 50% do.

    I ask because you mentioned swelling in your knees?

    I have lyme besides fm/mps/cfids. Was misdiagnosed on lyme for 10 yrs. Now it is chronic. Our symptoms cross over quite abit.

    Take Care!

    Just read your little bio. I understand am single, it was very diff. to go on diability. Ended up no choice, just could not fake it anymore. Yes, chronic illness is isolating,friends get tired of us canceling or not being able to make for sure plans. Do not get it, is a major complaint if you have been reading posts. From family,work, and friends. If you push too hard then you get worse. I often wondered if I would have just listened to my body in the begin, would on not be this bad off today???? Guess I will never know now.

    Sometimes I do just want to be alone, even though I am a people person and was a advid sports person. Just need the peace and quiet to rest my poor tired body at times.

    Jen F, I was posting when you were, just want to say I agree, I get asked out alot, I almost get scared because I know I will have to explain this and they want to go out when I may have no energy. Just get tired of going through the hassle or another <runnner>. Plus starting a relatonship is work unless we find someone who (gets it).( THAT is a feat in itself,) I made 1 of my best friends at group,also.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/05/2003]