Hi All, Thank you all so much for writing back to me so quickly! I feel soooo much better-well enough to take the loooong walk to the shower and actually wash the hair...I may even make it to the video store to return a movie ON TIME...now that is a feat to behold! Alert the media! I am still trying to figure out how to respond to messages individually...I wanted to write to each of you but maybe that isn't possible on this website? I am a bit foggy, so I suppose I should slowly read the directions before I try doing things. Just a quick note to thank all of you who wrote and offered support. I don't feel like a thing anymore. And last night, I had myself a good, long, overdue cry. Got it all out. I don't know what you all feel, but I think sometimes I just need to feel it and let it go...even if it means having a big cry. This is a frustrating disease...mostly because of the way folks think that you are lazy or irresponsible or not-ambitious...whatever. Maybe some of you have had experiences where people find out youre not working and they immediately think you are either dumb or unmotivated or mooching off of the government/husband/family/whatever. I think other people have mean attitudes towards me is what can be the most painful and will bring me to tears. A nurse had said something to me recently and I think that is what also got me sad yesterday. But thanks to all of you, I am feeling so much more hopeful today. One thing having fibro has given me is that it doesn't take very much for me to feel REALLY HAPPY. I think I got so used to pain, being broke, having people think I am nuts etc...that when any little thing sgoes RIGHT and WOW i feel extremely grateful and happy. I even talked to my psychotherapist about it and he assured me it isn't anything disease related ie. mania...maybe some of you can relate? I have a basic depression called dystimia but I manage that well with the therapy. My therapist was a chiroprator and became a pshchologist because he was facinated with his patients and their emotional status in relation to their pain. He is in the San Francisco Bay area if anyone needs a referral. He is quite knowledgeable about CFS and FM. I need to fill out my profile I guess...I enjoy reading all of yours! I am feeling a bit more energized today so I think I can actually do the dishes and tidy up...doesn't life seem so much more manageable when we are feeling up to at least tidying up around our homes? On the days when that is beyond my capabilities...wow...that is when I start to get blue like I was yesterday. A goal of mine is to be able to accept myself and nurture myself on the days when I can't even tidy up...why am I still beating myself up? I would never be unkind to anyone else if they were too ill to clean, ya know? Here's to self-nurturing! Let's all be very kind to ourseves this evening and remember that we aren't alone! That is what you all reminded me of yesterday and words can't express how much much that has helped my aching heart. I am feeling like this is what I have to deal with today, but we never know what will come tomorrow because each day is a new beginning. I have hope today, because of all of you! My golly I wrote a lot! Bless you all, SooDoo P.S. I am allergic to dogs so the volunteer work is very much on a day by day basis...I just started so I'll see how I do. I do have a dear little pet guinea pig named Coco Chanel because she is so sleek and beautiful (OK I know it sounds nuts but pets are pets and I live in an apartment) I do love the piggies......I did have two but one just passed away...guinea pigs are the dearest little angels...as are all pets...they are like furry angels, don't you think? If I can't manage to work with the dogs and cats at the shelter, maybe I could just sit and love the bunnies and guinea pigs. I found out that two other women who work at the Shelter have fibromyalgia. Gosh, we are everywhere!