George Carlin We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger Erma Bombeck~ No One Diets on Thanksgiving What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~Irv Kupcinet Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~Michael Dresser “Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, “Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England”. –Jay Leno On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime. ~Author Unknown Russell Baker~ It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status. Forever on Thanksgiving Day, The heart will find the pathway home. ~Wilbur D. Nesbit Johnny Carson~ Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe~ If we meet someone who owes us thanks, we right away remember that. But how often do we meet someone to whom we owe thanks without remembering that? Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action. ~W.J. Cameron Anonymous: May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs! Happy thanksgiving everybody!