Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, May 8, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member


    1. Follow your dream!
    --Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

    2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or
    later, you'll inhale a bee.

    3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
    of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just
    leave me alone.

    4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

    5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. ..
    Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

    6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle...
    It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

    7. It's always darkest before the dawn...
    So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    8. Into every life some rain must fall...
    Usually when your car windows are down.

    9. Just remember:
    You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car!

    10. When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to
    remember that all men are brothers and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn.

    11. It's a small world...
    So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

    12. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the
    it's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery.

    13. This Land is Your Land. This Land is My Land.
    So stay on Your Land.

    (sounds like Steven Wright? not sure...)

  2. artyreader

    artyreader Member

    You've got some killer humor postings--where do you get them? This is one of those deep down dark dark days, where I barely even have the energy to click on any posts (many days too tired/depressed to even turn on computer!) and I'm so glad I stayed on another minute, and saw your post--so funny!! Like many of the one's you've shared before, I'm going to copy and send to friends.

    Sometimes the best medicine (and I am speaking only for myself, now--we are all unique) is good old dark, sardonic, cynical humor. Today,bleak as I feel, it's the only thing that has cheered me up--bless you!
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    and I agree with you 100%! I try to watch or read at least one thing each day that makes me laugh out loud! Amazing how much better it makes me feel, at least for a while!

  4. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    Thanks, Victoria!

    Laughter is definitely good medicine!