"The Devil's in the Details"

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mightyoldman, Aug 23, 2011.

  1. mightyoldman

    mightyoldman New Member

    Well....I wonder if the phraze, "The Devil's in the Details" applies to our journey.

    I wonder if it says that we are still in our journey but the road beneath us seems to run out.
    Some sufferers may have this under control, while others are just beginning the long process of seeing doctors, self doubt, explaining to family and friends how you feel and what you believe about your symptoms, and then getting unsolicated advice from well meaning people who apparently seem to know more about your symptoms than you do.

    Meanwhile some may not be able to work, or may not be able to go back to work.
    I know I am not alone....loss of dignity, loss of financial stability, loss of home, loss of will to fight the daily fight. Loss of integrity as the bubble that surrounds you expands and expands and expands.
    And the loss of the respect from your spouse who no longer believes in your once mighty capabilities.
    The arrows of hope seems to point in a million directions, but none of them lead me to the best possible place in the shortest amount of time, with the least financial risk, and with the best possible remedy for gaining back what once was called...Normal.

    I'd say that the Devil is in the Details.
    If your asking what specifically I would like to discuss, well...I would have to say either all or nothing.
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Very well said. I sense that you have become very overwhelmed..

    The journey with this disease is not an easy road. Please do not doubt yourself.

    There are some great letters on here for explaining this to family. If watching is better youtube has lots of vids. This is really a hard one that most people struggle with. Loss of family and friends. Hand out the letter Spoons to people diagnosing and tell them your glad they got thier degree.

    You have a disease(there is a reason they call this the invisible one) and one of the hardest things for people is one day your up and can do things and the next you can't move.

    Spouses-breaks my heart how many people have spouses who forget the "in sickness and in health" part. Would they do less if it was cancer??

    You are right its the devil in the details....take care
  3. curlycreek

    curlycreek New Member

    I hear you man,
    You put it pretty good. The truth of living this way bites. Mostly I prescribe to the "nothing". Unsolicited advice, inability to live anything close to the normal life. The spouse deal, I can't even talk about that, other than I'd say we just pretend to be spouses. In reality we are more like isolated roommates, wishing we didn't have to deal with this (my) problem.

    Keeping my anger in check is an hourly self-talk task. I'm outwardly easy going & patient. Inwardly this has pushed me to my limits. I breath through the worst of it grind my teeth & live another hour. Somehow I will have to figure out dental work. All my teeth are fractured.

    At some point I decided I wasn't dead yet, so in my belief system I needed to figure out how I could give back to society. You know-let God use me for the higher good. Haven't figured this out yet, other than maybe not commiting an end of life deal. I guess that's important. Can't do anything if I'm not here.

    Only the last little bit have I started to take an interest in hobbies/life. Feels like being reborn, I don't know what I'm interested in. The old me like certain things, the new version of me is just beginning to experience likes.

    I like reading books from the library about CFS, fibromyalgia, and other diseases people have lived with. But only to a point, because it gets overwhelmingly depressing if that's all I focus on.
  4. mightyoldman

    mightyoldman New Member

    Yes, overwhelmed...yes! But I am strong enough to resist many things, I'd have to say that I can resist ignorant doctors who don't fully listen to the storyline but only treat the symptoms.
    I'd have to say that I can be graceful and even thankful for my wife who doesn't really get it, but allows me to talk about it as much as I do.
    But the hardest part is myself right now. That should really be a no brainer. This did not really sneak up on me and then I spent years and years searching for answers, after all my mother had this long enough for me to understand and then accept my own diagnosis.

    I have read the Spoon letter, I really like it. Describes me very well and I have actually used that concept when speaking to some friends about it.

    Thank you 3sg
  5. curlycreek

    curlycreek New Member

    I'm using a smart phone key pad, convenient, but it has posting limitations. This is my one big luxury allowing me to connect to others since setting at a computer is to much for me. It's light weight. I'm wondering if a small laptop might be useful.

    I saw the post pointing to older threads that sound interesting, just haven't figured out how to get to them on my phone. The copy/paste feature I can't figure out. I tried using search with key words & didn't end up with the right posts. If anyone sees this and has a suggestion?

    I'm really intested in "what are you doing now" post. Cause I'd like to know. Where does life go from here?

    How do all these details work out for others? And, financially how is it possible to live without money? Is there a trick to this?
    Take care!
  6. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Ahhh the ignorant docs. The I'm not really listening to you so,here take another pill, no I don't want to be bothered to do tests and figure it out but leave a $125.00 at the door cuz your 15mins is up!!!

    So glad to hear your wife will listen. I don't think anyone who doesn't have Fibro/CFS can get it.

    I totally get the me right now part. Interesting my dad also had this. However I did not know enough about it to help(before computer).
    I don't think we are fully prepared for what this DD does to us.

    It is very fickle,changing from person to person,day to day. Constantly teasing you with a good day only to slam you down the next. I feel sometimes like I have fallen down the rabbithole with Alice!!!

    We can resist alot (heck we live with these endless sypmtoms) but there are times when it would be nice to get away from being me.

    :) peace

    ok I was going to just put m-o-m instead of spelling out your user name,but then realized what it spelled! lol
  7. mightyoldman

    mightyoldman New Member

    Your description of the spouse deal seemed to hit me, literally 2 days ago my wife used that word to desribe us, Roommates. I cant fully describe why she says that because the details our marriage is somewhat lengthly.
    I would have to say that our living circumstances are the greatest problem, along with not enough money to live on.
    Its a very emotional and very unique set of circumstances we find ourselves in.
    We have only been married for almost 5 years, my first and her second.
    She has 3 grown children and two grandchildren.
    We have lived without our own place for four out of the five years we've been married.
    2.5 years of that we have been living in a temporary housing hotel.
    We are working professional people who have worked together since we met and married.
    She works and I am not working.
    And now we live in a space that is smaller than some peoples bathrooms.
    I dream of a comfortable bed, and she dreams of a kitchen.
    And I can honestly say that I really don't think that the average couple thrown into this so called reality would salvage their marriage.
    But I think we can, and I think we will once we change our circumstances.

    We are Christians, and we have Hope. But that doesn't mean that the struggle isn't real, and that we don't feel overwhelmed at every turn.
    I can't tell you, even though I have no doubt that that you would understand, how thought provoking being so low can make us feel in contrast to how we view others who appear to have everything.
    Even at church, we feel so out of place. My wife cries at every service, and I sometimes can't stand up to sing.
    What is true success and what is real faith...and as I consider what the world is teaching, I open my eyes and see even how all truth is now relative to mere opinion.
    I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all.
    This to me is relevent to my situation. Because life is not relative to my symptoms only, there is much much more involved, and I can see much differently about what God really means when He sees the heart of man rather than whats on the outside appearance.

    ok....I am chasing rabbits here....that happens often.
    I really liked your words curleycreek, I sense that your there too

  8. mightyoldman

    mightyoldman New Member

    Ha...I use this name on another forum, and they use Mom sometimes, I'm cool with that.
    you can use what ever combo works, man, oldman, mighty or mightyman, or hey you.

    Your first line made me laugh,....that is perfect!

    How to live without money? Tricky answers.
    Here's an idea, go to your favorite shopping area, and just look at what you want to buy.
    Go test drive a car that you want and then laugh at the salesman when he wants you to step into his office.
    Look online for homes that would be nice to live in and then go to bed and dream about it.
    Watch tv and see how the rich and famous live and then turn off the tv and thank Almighty God that your not that rediculous!
    Watch a cooking show on tv and listen to your stomache make noises like its arguing with your bank account, but your bank account has submitted the request and turned down within seconds.
    Here's a true story. Two days ago my wife and I went to the store to get just enough food we thought we could afford for the week.
    We were both extremely discouraged to say the least. On our way home my wife asks me where the foodstamp card is....we had recently applied for it again after 3 months of waiting to reapply for it again. I had it in my wallet and took it out while we were driving back to our place, this was a last ditch effort, like searching the couch cushons for spare change, then she called the number on her cell phone and look up our account info and found that we had $200 left on it and it was active.