I don't know what late night TV show this came from: The economy is SO bad that ... -I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. -I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" -CEO's are now playing miniature golf. -If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant YOU or THEM. -Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. -McDonald's is selling the "1/4 ouncer". -Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. -A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. (No wonder I'm seeing more around here.... lolol) -Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. -Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. -The Mafia is laying off judges. -Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. -Congress says they are looking into the Bernie Madoff scandal. Oh GREAT!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear! And, finally... -I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc................... I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.