The hypochondriac myth

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by teawah, Mar 24, 2003.

  1. teawah

    teawah New Member

    I am so sick of being treated like I am a phony. Today my hubby asked me what the definition for hypochondriac was. Then informed me that he was thinking that I was one. I asked him what the pay-off was for me to "fake" such a f'd up illness. Of course he said SSI. Free Money. Yeah, like I get SO MUCH money from SSI. I can't even afford to live on my own. Oh, by the way, I always have called him my hubby but we are not legally married. My "pay-off" is that I don't have to work. Yeah, I Fake an illness so I don't have to work and in the meantime robbing myself of doing ANY of the fun things that I enjoy so much.

    Yeah, I enjoy feeling like a GD failure. I enjoy going to the yard to try to rake and leaving piles of leaves and such because my wrists and back and legs and ON & ON hurt so much that I can't even complete a simple task as that.

    Yeah I enjoy being looked down upon by the world. Yeah, I enjoy being devastated by the ONE and ONLY person in my life that SHOULD be my support system.

    Yeah I love it DON"T YOU KNOW?

    I really hope that I can maintain my anger long enough to recieve my little monthly pittance and get my clothes, computer and music and get in my car and leave. I don't need anymore bull&*it. I can't take anymore of feeling like a failure. If I take much more I might as well just put my gun to my head and blow my brains out. That's how I feel right now. A complete failure and Completely WORTHLESS.

    Ain't Life Grand
    teawah
  2. Bigfoot

    Bigfoot New Member

    I'm so upset with your husband right now. Read the answer I gave to your previous post today and multiply my anger by two. I think you're husband needs counseling. I'm hesitant to be so blunt but....your husband is acting like a real grade "A" insensitive jerk! What the heck is his problem? I wish so bad I could talk to your husband and let him know what I think. He clearly does not understand (nor wish to) anything about this DD. Have you given him infomation about this DD that he can read? Will he read this board? Would he go to a counselor with you? Do you have another person who will support you through this? Hang in there and know that we all care here at this board. I sincerely hope that things improve. Dave
  3. painin

    painin New Member

    Teawah,
    Please don't feel so bad. I wish I could help, or even reach out & give you a big hug. You are not WORTHLESS!!! The worthless one is the one who makes you feel that way. And that worthless one is not WORTH hurting yourself over! Please know that there are people in this world who will understand and accept you just as you are. Sounds like you just haven't found him yet!! Please take care and no more of those thoughts of hurting yourself!! PLEASE???????.........??????????????
  4. AmieRock

    AmieRock New Member

    I wish I could tell you it'll get better, but it doesn't. We look normal, remember? So why can't we paint the house, or mow the lawn, or put a new engine in the car???

    I really feel for you...it's tough and so frustrating because as everyone says...unless they live it, they don't believe it.

    My last husband cheated on me and then left because he said that my being tired, sick, etc., made me not 'desire him'. Bulls**t! Desire had nothing to do with it...I barely had the energy to get up to go to the bathroom by myself and at the time I was working 60-90 hours a week...by the time I got home I was in such pain and so exhausted I could have gladly curled up in the car and not tried to get out of it!

    Fortunately, I've met (and recently married) a wonderful, wonderful man. Mike is the kindest, sweetest man I know and he is trying so hard to understand. But it's so hard on me because I feel so GUILTY about not being able to do anything as simple as a load of laundry. I seem to be able to get it in the washer and washed, and sometimes from the washer to the dryer, and ever rarely make it from the dryer to the couch...and there the clothes live :(

    I've tried educating Mike and my 2 new stepchildren about how I feel and what these DD's do to me...I don't know that it's working...the other day my stepson said "Let's go to the ballfield and play a game of baseball" and I said "I can't play baseball!!!" to which he replied "Why not??" DUH!

    I wish you luck, I really do.

    Love,
    Amie
  5. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Boy can I relate to this one!!! One time when I was dropping a sister off to work,as she got outta MY car,she said"your lucky!! I wish I did'nt have to go to work....I wanna be like you today".(laughing!!!) I found no humor in it!beleive me~ So yup,I'm LUCKY! lucky to feel like someone beat the livin sh** otta me,then dropped me off a cliff! Lucky to have $520 a month,with bills like everyone else! and OH,Dr appointments??I LOVE to go to the DRS!!! Sometimes I go early!!(one might see me skipping in!LOL)
    I spend a minimum of 1 and a half-3 hrs there! Thats JUST where I wanna be....especially in nice weather! but whom I kiddin..If I wern't there I'd only be layin on the couch!
    Yeah,THIS IS THE LIFE!! I feel for you! because I get the same crap too.There are times when inside I wanna cry~but most of the time my anger takes over and I've just sorta blocked the ignorant ones outta my life! I have a couple family members that I really don't speak much too....because of their stupidity~
    I'm a firm believer in "What goes around comes around".
    I keep that in my thoughts.(and it helps me alot!)
    Sorry you have to deal with this too~
    (((Hugs))
    Tracey
  6. bejo

    bejo New Member

    I know how you feel.I get tired of people complaining because they have to go to work too.I'm 60 years old and never worked outside the home much,but I'd give my eyeteeth to be able to now.It might look like fun to sit or lay around but they wouldn't think so if they felt like we do.So please hang on,there are nice people out there.If your husband thinks of you like this all the time then get out while you can.When you feel really down come here and we'll be here for you.Believe me I just went through a really down time yesterday and this morning.This is where I get my support,I don't know what I'd do without it.We'll be waiting to hear from you again. bejo
  7. MelanieThebirdlover

    MelanieThebirdlover New Member

    I always say, "If you could only feel, for a second what I feel......" but thats not the way it goes, unfortunatly. Your angry and upset right now, and rightfullyso! But please calm down for your own sake, dont do any thing drastic like taking your own life. stress is not a good thing for us as I know you know already! You know what the truth is, and thats all that should matter. Unfortunatly it isnt. I find myself having to "prove" my illnesses to the world day in and day out. Like I have to have their approval or something.....My hubby isnt to bad in this dept. he doesnt really get on me about housework and cooking and does try and understand for the most part. but their are times with him and others to that make you feel like sh*t 1 way or the other. And whats this "free money" thing all about??? Nothings free....beleive the price your paying is much higher than anyone knows....and thats your health, and of course he aint helping matters...I collect SSD, I had points in from working, they took money out of my check every payday, so what I get now, to me, is money I put in, so I'm not getting sh*t free!! Please hang in there, and try and not let it bother you so, I know easier said than done, but for the sake of your health....please try. xoxoxoxox big hugs and kisses!!

    Melanie
  8. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    I know how you feel. I can't even GET SSI or SSDI. My husband is divorcing me because of my illness, and after almost twenty years, still doesn't believe me. He really hates me because he thinks I really CAN work and am holding out on him. That is just nuts. He is taking me to a divorce trial to try to get the judge to rule that I can work so he can get out of paying support. I am hopeful that he will not be able to get away with this. I am over 50 and really can hardly do anything. I just cannot fathom how vicious some people can be. It's just beyond me how they live with themselves. You hang in there, girl.

    Hippo
  9. KathyM

    KathyM New Member

    You have a support system right here. I know it hurts. My two sons tell me mom quit faking & walking funnny, and they ask why I don't cook as many meals any more. Well even if I didn't have wide spread chronic pain; they would be doing more any way. They are 16 & 14, I think it just hurts them that I am this way, and I am differnt that 3 years ago. They kind of went through the diagnosis with me. They are expressing it like my two spoiled guys- I love them alot, but they don't understand. My husband says hed does, and helps when he can. But he has moments when I know he wishes it wasn't real. It could be alot worse, and that is how I get by. I hold my head up, and do what I can, and no more. I pace myself & plan ahead. I've learned to say no more often, and then I am a better mom/wife even if I am on the recliner, and can't move or have such a bad headache that I feel like sreaming. Hang in there---come here any time for venting or what ever. Kathy- You are not a hypochondriac. If all these people who claim we are acting or what ever---- if they could be in my shoes for one week, they would feel like giving up. I pray they don't come down with it.
  10. sparrowshell

    sparrowshell New Member

    Sorry to hear your story, but I know how you feel, as I have been diagnosed with CFS. Worst thing is - I still live at home with my parents and they are not sympathetic or even understanding of my condition. Recently I was given an ultimatum by the Dr to quit working - or else I'd work myself to death, and never get better. So I handed in my resignation, and my parents were furious! They said it wasn't wise to give up my job, but "work through this sickness - don't give up and rest!" So I took back my resignation and am suffering because of it ... I can barely stand. I'm afraid my parents also think it's all in my head. But even if it was - do you think I'd chose this lifestyle .. to be sick ... when I'm in the prime of my life? Sad people are not very understanding these days, isn't it. So I'm with you there, girlfriend!

    Michelle (Sparrowshell)
  11. fibrodoll

    fibrodoll New Member


    Hi Teawah, don't hurt yourself over what he says. You are important and you shouldn't have to put up with abusive treatment! I say pack them bags and go! I don't know if you get any counseling but it is a great way to build self esteem.
    I've been abused in the past but got out and now have a wonderful husband also great kids. I believe that everyone has a chance at happiness but it won't fall in our laps. We have to work at it and you don't need someone who isn't working with you.

    Hang Tough! Hugs, Valley.
  12. clueless

    clueless New Member

    When we marry there is a little statement in the ceremony that says "for better or worse,in sickness or in health". These men conviently forget this. If wives can1t do the things they used to men figure it is a phony set up. They have to be out of their minds!!!! No human being would choose to have this ruining their lives. The mentally of some people is so selfish, that love can`t exist with them unless things are going the way they want them to.You deserve better and every fiber of my being hopes that you get it. Sending my good hopes for you and my prayers. We have been married 56 yrs. and I am fortunate to have a good, understanding husband and I wish the same could be true for all of you!!!
  13. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    I am so sorry your husband is acting like he is. You certainly cannot help the way you are and will no doubt find you will cope better without him if he insists on that type of attitude. My husband has always been a chauvinist and I was deperately afraid of how I would cope the sicker I became, but miracles of miracles he is slowly but surely changing and tho' it is hard for him, he is trying very hard to be supportive. Hope things work out. Many ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))). Love Ozgran
  14. phenom

    phenom New Member

    i don't have much to offer that hasn't already been said, but i just wanted to say i'm thinking about you and i hope things start looking up. my sister says that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom with life and relationships to truly appreciate what happens to us in the future. i sure hope she's right. (((hugs)))

    phenom