The Nerve of Some People

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kaiasmom, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I had a parent teacher conference yesterday for my 8 year old daughter, who is in the third grade. I found that she is not quite up to speed - and her teacher told me that she "could tell" I work. So, I guess it's my fault my daughter is struggling? We do homework every night & it is always complete & on time, etc. I don't work so we can buy boats & cars & go on vacations - I have a boy & a girl who have to share a bedroom because we can't afford a bigger place! Not to mention the agony & exhaustion this fibro leaves me with. It's a wonder I manage to get anything done after I get home from work. Well, I guess necessity makes a lot of things happen.

    Sorry, just had to vent. What an ignorant statement to make about someone you have just met. Guess the rich do get a better education, even in public schools - the pace they move at is so fast they don't have time to cover everything in the classroom & we have to pick up where they left off. Guess it's going to be a long nine more years!!!

    Leanne
  2. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    I'd be interested in knowing that since she works, too.

    I hope that you told her that in addition to working, you are also sick, that you do work with your daughter every night, and that perhaps - now that you know there is a problem, you will either work with her more or perhaps find a high school student who would like to earn a few bucks by tutoring her in the problem areas.

    I also hope that once she is no longer your daughter's teacher, you'll tell her that it's a shame she didn't cover the subjects more thoroughly during classtime.

    abbylee - I must be in a mood tonight because almost every post I've responded to I've been - what - witchy?? But heck, everyone I've read has had some kind of ignorant person giving one of us a hard time. ;-)
  3. angeljoe

    angeljoe New Member

    Leanne,
    My son is 9 and he also started falling behind this year. His teacher and I discussed how we could catch him up together. I can't imagine what kind of teacher would say such a thing to a parent. Most of the time these days, both parents have to work to survive at all. I'm so sorry that obtuse person made such a comment to you. You're right that statement was ignorant, but most importantly she was speaking way out of character. Her statement was ludicrous, I hope you don't feel guilty because you have to work. Hun, I work too, and with fibro that is an ordinary task to most people. For us with fibro it's very unpleasant most of the time. She better just hope your next conference isn't a flaring day. Don't dwell on her ignorance sweetie!
  4. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    I never could really understand why school work couldn't be done at school in the first place instead of sending work home for the children to do. Do school teachers not get paid to teach our kids or is it turning into a baby sitting position? My son always had to sit up each night with us doing homework and it was difficult after working a full day and doing housework too. I believe that a teacher shouldn't send work home for parents to help with if she is teaching them like she should at school. "Just my opinion." I am not putting any teachers down. My best friend teaches first grade and she fully agrees that after a child is in class all day that they need time for other things when they get home. Like I said, just my opinion for what it is worth. I don't want to offend anyone.
    Stinker56
  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    She had no business making that type of comment.

    I also worked for 30 years -- the entire time that my children were in school.

    If a teacher had made that comment to me, I would have give it right back to her, I am afraid of!! I, too, would be interested to know if SHE had children.

    Like you said, Leanne, my children always had all of their homework done, practiced their spelling words 10 times, etc. They were always clean, had clean clothes and shoes, and appeared at school with their teeth brushed and hair combed neatly. This was way more than other kids did! Some came to school looking pretty rough!

    All 3 of my children turned out to be fine, upstanding citizens, and all with a good education. One is even a doctor!! So, did me working affect my children's education: NO!!

    And ... I used my vacation days 1 day at a time so that I could go to their school parties and take homemade treats to the kids, help them play their games, etc. When they got older, I was taking my vacation to help the band on big band events and working in their consession stand, etc.

    I always made sure that my children came first. And ... I would always ask them if my working was a big problem to them--and they all said NO. They wanted me to continue working so that they could have extra jeans and shoes and pizza every Friday night!

    Soooooo sorry, I'm just venting now. It always made me so angry when people around where I lived said that mother's should not be working--we had a lot of housewives (by choice) and a lot of unemployed/welfare folks in our school district. In fact, I was one of very few mothers in my kids' entire grade school who DID work!

    Off my soapbox now!!

    Hugs,
    Janet
  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    are now retired school teachers. public school teachers i might add in the state of michigan....her sister is now a retired prinicpal from michigan as well...

    you know what they all worked full=time as teachers and father-in- law coached sports after school year round.

    and you know they are all had children, mother in law had 2 children 8 years apart and my aunt by marriage had one child....

    and my brother in law is a professor at a university in michigan...

    yes for the most part they do have more time off during summer and winters and spring break...so they do get more of a break than most professions...but they are highly underpaid in my opinion, but they do it for the love of children and educating...

    so where i am getting at is i don't know why that particular teacher made such a statement as to she/or he could tell you work. possibly your child made a comment in class as to your working or job. my son would when he was younger as to he was proud of his mother...

    i do not believe with your working has anything to do with your child being behind at all...i worked and my child was always above averge student, but when he was younger like yours it was a struggle for him to remember to do be organized, heck he is just getting it now in the tenth grade....

    boys are usually behind girls in the earlier years cause they just want to play, girls have the attention span to sit and want to learn...

    but eventually boys catch up and yours will to.

    my ex-husband had/has dyslexia and his own parents didn't know what was wrong exactly....it took his 6th grade teacher to figure out what was wrong with him....he was born in 1966 so they have progressed with dyslexia since then, but his parents were teachers and didn't know what was wrong...basically said he was being lazy ect...

    to the point for you, maybe you could confront or write a letter to his teacher or email them... and ask them what they had ment when they mentioned they could tell you worked...maybe it wasn't meant to be a condescending remark for you working...i don't think it was atleast i should hope not....

    i do not believe you have much to lose by writing a letter or setting up a conference to meet for ten minutes. you could also ask what they may suggest to help your child to catch up....and my understanding they need to teach to whatever way your child can learn...;you could request testing by the school if you wish.

    i personally would try to do any testing on the outside, because i went round w/my son's kindergaren teacher on how she thought he was add or adhd...but he wasn't he was just bored in class...i did not want him to be labled improperly...plus the schools would get more funding if he needed special ed classes....it was not neccessary he has been on honor roll and pulled above average marks ever since....

    school is such a struggle for parents working or not...

    hang in there you are doing a great job!

    and the homework is something they will have until they finish college....

    and i hated it that they sent my son homework home for me to do it felt like...i got through some how don't know how...it will get easier for you.

    wishing you the best and thinking of you

    jodie
  7. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    Well, at least I have you guys on my side :) I guess the grown up thing to do would be to just let it go. I doubt if confronting her, or even writing her would do Kaia any good in the long run. I have to remember that the school year just started!!

    Well, speaking of work....better get back to it. Hope everyone has a great day!

    Leanne