I'm dying. Yesterday, I did normal things that people take for granted. I had to do a bunch of errands. I went to the bank, I put gas in my car (the clerk read the amount backwards and almost charged me double when I got inside to pay!), went to the store to mail my aunt's xmas present that I had been promising to mail for a month. (aunt in law and understanding mostly of CFIDS, not one of my blood relatives). Then my friend picked me up for dinner. We went for chinese buffet. I was tired by the time we went out, but I wasn't flaring like I am now. I started to flare last night within a few hours of being home. Today, I am in screaming agony. Massive flare up, pain all over, fatigue to where I can't stay awake, I'm just dying. Why does it have to do this? Why is it that every time I try to do normal things, I pay in spades so badly that it is never worth it. And I didn't do crazy things, it's not like I tried to go out dancing. I did normal everyday things that people take for granted every day. The pain is so bad, I just want to die. I also still have the Swine Flu goo. I left half a dozen napkins in the restaurant last night from it. And still had it today. I don't know if it's ever going to leave. It's like a combo of bronchitis and post nasal, but not. It's horrible. I ordered a small thing for my pc and I have to stay awake for the UPS delivery for the next few hours, so I'm dying sitting here. I wish people knew how severe the pain and fatigue are when we try to do normal things. This isn't something minor. My psycho relatives act like we are exaggerating everyday aches and pains and it's not. This can't be ignored, this isn't something a tylenol can fix. I feel like I was thrown from a building and a truck ran over me. I can't move at all. Just typing this hurts. My arms hurt, my fingers hurt, everything hurts. And I had gone back to sleep this afternoon and it didn't help at all. I'm just totally dying.