The thread to the getting worse from this is getting really

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 15, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    This thread about we who have chronic pain ,fibro, Chronic fatique , is getting wrose. I have read through most of the posts and i thoght I was ALONE in this, that it is all in my head. I was thinking that I sleep too much was becasue I have nothing to do and don't feel like i am worth much in helping supporting my family.

    I see our BILLS gettingmore andmore and the docotrs bills getting higher and higher. And I don't know how we are going to pay for all the things we need not to mention what we would like to have and to do.

    I wake up everymorning more tired than when I went to sleep. I hurt to get out of bed the painin my arches of my feet are getting worse, I hae foudn that I really hurt all over more and had it hit harder and last longer.

    I thought it was because I as NOT working now and have
    not for three years, I was working at a craft store and I Lvoed my job but I was so stredssed becasue the employers were thingking that i was FAKING it to get out of cleaning the store. I could not do it.

    IN the last 2 years I have fell and shattered my left wrist and it has a titaaaaauim plate and 6 screws in it and theat breaak is deteraterating and has truma indused arthritis I am so scared of what is going on with my body,
    I just had my gall bladder out 2 months ago and I still have not recovered from it yet. I still have pain all the time inthe same places tht hurt inthe first place and I thoguhg it was all inmy head and now I learn that it is not. So what can i do to get back my heaalth? what do I ned to do to get beater? I hate feeling like iam so tired and sleepy and just have no energy, so how do I get feeling better now?

    I spent many years being s dental Assistant and loved it. I felt liek I was helping our family get out bills paid and not do don'twork any more . So am I drpressed and is this all inmy head: I want to be the person I once was adn I wont ever be that perosn agian; I know tha ti have to change how I think and how I do tings eachday.

    AS I havelooked back in the past few yers I have gotten
    worse, My MIL suddenly got il and with in 22 days she was gond and in that time my hubby asked me for a divorce teling me that it was NOt my fault but his. After I got sick and ended in the hospital with phumnomina he alled and acme beck and we went to to counsleing and are back to gether not, it is really hard for me to see him take off work andleave e all alone while he goes " HUNTIN" and what do I get nothing at all.
    I ache more and my feet hurt and walking my me knees hurt more andmore and I don't know what to do to change it.
    What do I do to change my life and how I am feeling.

    I Live in a small town of logan utah and there is the o west mimuminest wage her so you don't get to move up and ear nmore money to help with your medical problems. And then the people you are working for find out that you have FIBRO and they thingk it is in you rhead adn all in you mind if you wold just lose weight adn wat better and wsercise and it dose not help as it hurts to much.

    I have stsopped drinnking diet coke yet i reall crave them but don't drink thenbecause I knwo tha one da they wioo not hurt my tummy . But it costs so much to drink soda sand it is not good for you any way.

    How can I bein so much pain at 49 and be told that I am not to abbbble to work as it will inly make my conditiiitins worse. I have degenerative diecdiease , spianl stenoosis, a shattered l=wrist, a broken talk bone, arthritis in both my knees and I have had ssso many surgerises to get rid of my femal prlblems adn I still hurt at times like I am going thought memopause, andI aam not atking hormomes or have my overise , tubes uterus and appendis and ssssssicne them I have had one more surgery for put my bladder where it belings and to put my vigina back where it belinged, and then I had my gall bladder out 2 months ago. And I still fell like I am sick,. I am sick on being sick adnhurting. And i Knowww that there is no tmagic pills that wil make be better but won''t it be great.

    I think as many people do thatit is our enviroment and the toxins we breath in and out every day. and all they do is make us feeol wrise and feel like there are more mack trucks to run us over and stay with us.
    I Once did things with my daughters and not I can't even lift my grandson who is 6 months old and wieghs 19 lbs.This off all the things I want to do hurt more thanever. You are my all of my and friend

    How did I become this way, three years ago i was working at the craft srote adn then mymoomgot ill and I was ther with her for 15 days and nights and when my boss called i was planning the home health care for my more and there was not a way that I could do back to work.I din't quit trying to work and I got a job atTJ Maxx and wihtin a month I was let go with the statement from my boss that " I could not keep up with the younger people that I was working with, I could not lifenmore than 15 lbs and only a few time a week. and POOF I was gone with out a thought from her> So I tried a job about FETure Films for families.

    I would call and there was a pre recorded voice that would answer for me and I had to memorizein 2 days all the terms that she would use is a normal conversatation, like yes , no, laugh, and many others but I could not memorize all the things I needed to learn there were over 50 different things that went with the keys for your key boad and they had nothing to do with what is on the keys, Once again POOF I was gone and now there is no one who will hire me as I am 49 years old and I am too old to do the work that they want me to do.
    I am worried about ewhat to do, since I cna't work and have been told by my docotrs what am I goin to do> do I file for disability noww and let it be denied? or do I get a lawyer to asist me in what is the best waaays to geo about it.

    I want you to know I am sorsry that i am whinning about all this stuff but what am I going to do when ther is no money g=comming in when the months are thight at the house as they are now. I can't get my meds till friday becasue we don't have the money now and I need to have the doctors office hold the check till friday.

    I walk alone in this road of pain and diepair,
    Once there were many who walked with me and we worked together. Now as I ook around I am all alone and so lost.
    What can I do? NO one will hire me as I have to many medical problems and i can't lift as much as I should be able to do.

    I am lost in this world where on one understands me and why I am in pain. Thery don't see me when i waaaake up and i can't stay awake during the day andi am so sleepy all the time. I go for walkes and my legs, knees hurt so badly that I feel like I am going to fall on my face.

    How idid I get so alone adn so lost from all family and friends, I am told that this illness is all my my head and some times it is in a headache. But I am alone in this world, lost and wondering what it is I am to do? Who can help me? OF can I be helped?

    Thereaston for all thisfeeling of being aline is whatI have: Degenetetive discdiease, spianlstenosis. 2 disc that are buging & the nerves get pinched , I have Fibromyaliigia, Chhhronic mmmeyofacial pain syndorme. I need tow knee replace ments but because of the all the illnesses I have I am not sure it will work for me.
    I ahce when I wake and I aache when I go to bed and I just ache all the time. What has ha ppends to me?And where do I do and whatdo I do? I am nolonger nromal and I cnat do the things that I was trainged to do. I feel so very old.

    So I am one lost person walking around in circles trying to find me adn how to be able to do thie thines I onnce did, I hvae lost fmaily because they don't under stand the reason i am taking pill pills and the feel so mcuh that I am assictied adn to them there is NO DIFFERENCE between addiction and dependancy.
    I am not addicted. yet no one belives in me do you?

    What am I do do? All alone and lost in a world thta does not understand all the diease's i have they comdeme me for not working and being lazy and you should be working your NOT that O LD> YOUr being lazy jsut do some thing but stop sitting there being lasy and giving up on your life. I want to be the nromal mother who loves to paly wiith my grandson and to pick him up and to play with him and I can't do that, What did I do warong in my life do get the diease's I have and have to surrer with, I have failed my family by not being able to do the things I should be doomg. Yes I am all alone and lost and I am not the person I once was I am sad that I am not her and more.
    Please help me find away not to feel so alone and sad about it, I have things to do I love told painting and love eoing it, Help me find my life adn to e ha py and to find a way to have my family understnd the problems I have& and that I am NOT FAKING.

    I am stil alone and lost and want to be so happy and to friends and family that care about me. I dont want to feel alone , lost and being a faliue too. what did i do in my life to have all the all the dieases that I have. I am so aloane without my family and frinds what do i do adnhow do i do it. I am loost ,lonely. HELP ME fefore I am just fading away in to nothinging ness nd beling alone and so lost. i am fading in to a pplace where i don't want to be/ I am me and lost .alone and sand that i am ot the person I once was. What happend to me? HELP ME? Please?

    Thanks for listenings to all the sad tings Ihvae hda happend to me. Thanks for listening to me. YOur are my giits, my friends, and my failly my mom .

    Thank you for all you caring and for you concern. What a gift from you I love you all, Rosemarie
  2. zerped

    zerped New Member

    sorry to hear about the pain and stress you have been feeling. The folks who came up with A.A. had a brilliant idea that anyone can use. One thing that helps for me is to remember that I can't do tomorrow or two years from now today. Today all I can do is today. I can't cope with this disease for the rest of my life, but I don't have to now; all I need to do is to get through today, and I've "won." No one can solve all of their problems at once right here and now. do what you can to get through today, and don't focus on anything else, I promise that things will improve.

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