It has been a tremendously rough few months for me health wise. I have improved enough to be back online and I am happy. A good number of my family members came down with the flu or really bad viruses. I caught two of the viruses this past month just as I was getting mobile again after a 3 month bed confinement from my ME/CFS. My family members, including my husband were very, very ill for a week. I was happy to see them recover and get back out and about in their lives. However yesterday as I laid here still reeling from the viruses they gave me which though over left my immune system in an over active state, pouring out all those cytokines that make us feel like a piece of lettuce put in a microwave, I started feel angry. The anger is that seemingly everyone I know who gets sick, ends up getting well and I am left with this stupid ME/CFS which doesn't allow me to "get well" and get on about my life. Seriously, my sister had inflammatory breast cancer and it was horrible what she went through but she beat it and has lived a full 7 years now cancer free, one breast lost and I am sure an emotional toll, but she lives a full life. My mother has gone through a few surgeries for her heart which were scary and serious, but she too came out of it a winner and lives a full life. Everyone who gave me those recent viruses is back out in their life, laughing, living, enjoying the company of others. I am left here neutralized. It is so unfair! I get sick of how unfair this illness is. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't have gotten a different illness. One that would have allowed me to recover and go out and about, back among all those I love and with the ability to do the things I love to do. Don't get me wrong, I view getting cancer as my sister did as a very serious and trialsome experience. I just want a piece of the "getting well pie". I love pie. Why can't I get a piece of that pie????? I'm sure many of you here on the boards have felt this way. Perhaps some of you are feeling it right now. It sounds somewhat like a little child complaining but yesterday I felt it quite deeply. I told my husband I was very happy to see him back to feeling good as he really did have a awful week. And I am happy for him and for all my loved ones. I just want to be in their club. I just want to be well again.