Things are never as they seem

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by tired214, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. tired214

    tired214 New Member

    It was one year ago today. Driving home from work, I was in a fantastic mood! As one who has fought depression my entire life, February 8, 2008 was so different. I was sitting in rush hour traffic telling jokes to myself and making myself laugh! I never did that before. It felt so good! I was so looking forward to getting home to my wife and kids and the upcoming weekend. I even joked to God not to take this great feeling away. Things usually turned sour.

    Later that evening after our kids went to bed, my wife told me she was divorcing me. At first I was numb. Where did this come from? Our marriage wasn't great but it certainly was not bad! I felt that God did take everything away. And more. I plunged into another deep depression. I tried everything to change her mind to no avail. Once again my being unworthy of anything good was catching up to me. Eventually we came to an agreement for the divorce. I had a few victories. Our children live with me more than 50% of the time. I was able to keep our home so the kids have something that is normal. But I wanted my wife back. And that was not going to happen. Not only did I lose my spouse, but I lost my in-laws, whom I loved and cared for.

    I wrote before on how on December 31 my pastor was suddenly taken from this life. December 31 was when my spouse had to be out of the house. It was a lousy end to a lousy year. But something wonderful was about to happen from all of this. I found a new spiritual life! When she moved out at the beginning of this year, all of the tension that had built up for 15 years went, too! I was worried about being alone, but at first the kids were with me quite a bit of the time. When they did have a few days with their mother, I was fine. Even my social life went from zero to something.

    It finally hit me that in the past year I did not lose everything. I spend more time with my children. I pray every morning for 30 to 45 minutes (this resulted from the death of my pastor). I never did that before. My depression is melted away. My spiritual life is a thousand times better than it was before. I am happy. Truly happy. Happier than I was driving home one year ago today.

    God did not take everything away. God GAVE me so much more than I would have ever expected. I would not wish the pain and heartache that I suffered in the past year on anyone (but that is nothing compared to the suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ). And I pray daily for the pain my children suffer. But things are not as they seemed around 9:00 pm on February 8, 2008. I am blessed. I am truly blessed. I thank God for my blessings and for giving me the gift of coming through my pain and the gift of my new spiritual life.

    May God Bless you all!

  2. Gingareeree

    Gingareeree New Member

    Thanks for sharing your story. I too, have taken what would seem like an overwhelming life of stress(my oldest daughter has a husband who became paralyzed in the span of 12 hours, five years ago.Add to that she also is working through some very painful issues from her childhood as a result of sexual abuse by a neighbor. She is severely depressed and has a lot on her plate as she is also the sole breadwinner in the family)Anyway,my point is if not for my faith(yes it has grown srtonger and deeper because of my daughters' situation)I would really be depressed myself. I have found it to be a source of stength and hope that she will get through this difficult journey and find peace and healing. I've been saying the rosery several times a week and I talk to Mary as one mother to another,as she surely suffered the ulitmate pain watching her Son suffer and die. I have a sense of peace, knowing that she is intercedeing for me and that God will take care of my daughter and her family. I am inspired by your story as it furthers my belief that something positive can result from the most painful situations. God Bless you, Jeanne
  3. jole

    jole Member

    The Lord has truely blessed you! I too suffer from depression and know how horrible it can get. And, like you were, it seems I almost "dread" good times because I know it will be followed by another down. But it is getting better, also because of faith, which was not always as strong as it is now.

    The Holy Spirit has definitely been with you and guided your steps along the way. I am so happy for the peace you have found, and the lesson of God's love that you have learned. Your children are very lucky to have you for their father! And we are very lucky to have you as a friend***Jole***
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I'm so happy that things are so much better. I think that some believe that God has left them, when he has been there all along with them and His path in the future is to provide relief.
  5. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. So thankful that you found that God was there, and I believe, timing is everything, and only the Lord can know for sure when it is best for things to happen for us in our lives. And you, you took off with his blessings! The spirit can be in your home now without the contention, the children will grow up knowing the Lord. How wonderful. So happy for you! It's great to be able to come on here and see that people are willing to share their life paths. So many of us can relate. I've been divorced. Very first.
    Jeanne, if you are reading these posts again, thank you for sharing. I just want to tell you how blessed your daughter is to have a mother that is so loving and caring. To help her through her trials. I was also abused in my childhood, only by my stepfather. When I fianally told my mother about it, years later, she refused to talk "noramally" about it with me. She had a hard time accepting the fact that something like that could happen right there, without her knowing, within the home, I guess. Our relationship was different from then on. She felt uncomfortable around me. Like I said, your daughter is very blessed to have you by her side.
    And for me, I would like to think I'm doing as Bob has. Envited the Lord into my life as much as possible. I can't think of a better way to be happier. :)
    Love to all, Cynthia
  6. Gingareeree

    Gingareeree New Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry to hear of your childhood trauma. May God Bless you and grant you His peace and healing. Jeanne
  7. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    Humm, just to hear those very words..."sorry to hear of my childhood trauma, and that God may bless me, and grant me His peace." Something I've never been told concerning my past. Thank you again.
    Love, Cynthia
  8. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    What a wonderful way to put it! So true. Most of us wait until we "need" him in some way or another, it does seem that when we are humbled in some way or another, we think of him...thank you. Love, Cynthia
  9. dustymule

    dustymule New Member

    I believe the Lord was holding your hand the night your wife said she wanted to leave. God is an AWESOME GOD!!!! I put ALL of my trust and faith in Him! There is nothing that this world can offer me! I know a lot of folks are trusting in the President to get us out of these difficult times, but I am trusting the Lord. He is in charge of EVERYTHING, and I am so glad that He is! Bob, everything is going to be o.k!!!!!! And I am soooo glad to hear that you are doing great! I am very happy for you my dear friend! Sincerely, Barbara
  10. dustymule

    dustymule New Member

    My dear friend, I am so very happy for you! Isn't peace WONDERFUL????? Bob, I am so very blessed to know you ! You have pulled me out of the bottomless pit so many times with your compassionate words of encouragement and understanding! You truly are a child of God!!!!Your friendship is PRICELESS!!!!!! I look forward to seeing you in Heaven also! We are going to have an AWESOME TIME worshiping God and walking with Jesus in a land where everything is perfect and wonderful! Sincerely, Barbara