Things change quickly... I HATE MY NEW JOB!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Nov 4, 2005.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    First day was great, second day was really good, and it's gone way down hill since then.

    I finished my first week at my new job. All I can say is… I hurt so bad and am totally exhausted; I hate my job, I hate the office manager, and I hate the fact that I will probably have to spend every minute that I’m not working trying to recuperate. The office manager is very young (which I am NOT), and she is so sarcastic and condescending toward me. It makes me want to just smack her. To be honest, I'm amazed that I haven't.

    I have to work in order to survive, there is no choice in that matter. I will keep looking for a better job, and collect a check in the meantime.

    So, here I sit on my couch in horrible pain, and ankles that look like the Goodyear Blimp. I assume it’s from sitting at a desk all day. My rheumy (who is now handling my pain meds) hasn’t called me back, even though I have faxed him and left messages.

    I know right now, I'm exhausted, I hurt and if that little *itch in the office gives me attitude one more time, she's going down!!!

    I've been there 5 days and she had the nerve to tell me today that I better pick up speed because she will be teaching some new things that are my responsibility and I will need to get it ALL done. I swear I'm going to smack her. She's been a lousy teacher and puts the blame on me. She also had the nerve to tell me the other day that what I was wearing was not appropriate. I had on a pair of nice paints and a sweater... basically, no different than anyone else in the office. GRRRRRRRRRR.

    The only reason I'm working is because I don't have a choice, and I hurt like a son of a gun. I'm very pissed at my rheumy. My PCP handed me over to him for all pain meds and I've left messages and faxed and he has not called me back. I'm on the fentanyl patch, but I hurt so badly and need something for the breakthrough pain.

    There are days I wish I could just lay down and die.
    Sorry, rambling again.

    Hope you are all feeling better than I am. I feel like a jerk hating my job so much after just the first week.

    Thanks for listening to me ramble and whine. If some of this doesn't make sense, it's because I'm so exhausted.

  2. meowchowchow

    meowchowchow New Member

    That sucks! I hate that for you.

    Can you not collect disability or something?


    LEFTYGG Member

    I am having a lot of pain . i cant imagine going to work. i hope it gets better maybe shell get fired lol
  4. MamaR

    MamaR New Member


    I saw your post and feel so sorry that you have to work. I know what it is like to be in a situation as you are...especially your work environment. Maybe you can talk to someone that is over this horrible,uncaring woman! It is apparent that she isn't very sensitive to your needs!
    I will pray that you will find an answer to this soon!

    God Bless....Mari
  5. fawkes2

    fawkes2 New Member

    l feel bad for you in your situation , it sucks .
    l'm going to pray for you , and l will give you a hug
    l hope that your situation will improve .

  6. dancingstar

    dancingstar New Member

    Get a lot of rest and try to feel better over the weekend. That's the first and most important thing.

    Now on to the rest of the problem. When you go to work on Monday, begin to keep a work diary. Be exceedingly nice to the witch that is making your life miserable, but try to make a record of everything that she does that gives you grief.

    By the end of first month, when you are calm, review your diary, and take your complaints to her superior. Clearly explain the situation and see if you can't get a better position in the same place.

    Record this discussion in your diary as well. In other words, keep a record of everything, good and bad. It doesn't have to be in great detail, but a few quotes might come in handy.

    Whenever your current "boss" does or says something that you feel is really unreasonable, let her know that you feel she is intentionally being mean or oppressive...but on your side, always be nice and really cooperative. Also be sure to let her know if she is causing you any physical discomfort with her demanding ways. It is important that you tell her these things and that you make a note of having told her. Frankly, she may not realize her behavior is as bad as it is, and she may also not realize what a valuable asset you are to the company.

    I'm hoping that one of three things will happen: Either you actually begin to get along with her and truly like your new position and find that it becomes easier; or they give you something you like better; or in the worst case scenario, you file a worker's compensation claim, and you have the proof to back up your claims that your boss was behaving in such a negative way that it caused you unreasonable levels of stress.

    Sometimes it takes a while for people to get used to each other...even months. So do try to give the position a fair try. Who knows? You may grow to like each other. If she turns out to be truly vile, though, at least you will have your work diary as backup.

    Best of luck to you!

  7. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    How awful! I'm very disappointed that this week has been so bad, but it is the first week. Dancingstar really had some good advice. What a smart cookie!

    I know starting is always hard, and I do hope things get better. As you're there a bit, I'll bet you'll find out lots from your co-workers. Maybe she does this to all new employees until...? Maybe she is always this way with everyone, but as you've only been around a little while, you haven't seen it. I don't know, but time will tell. It is smart to keep the job while looking for another. You are a smart cookie!

    Rest...I'll pray the rheumy calls, and if he doesn't, why don't you give your PCP a call and tell him/her what's going on. You certainly can't work if your pain level is at 10! No, no, no!

    I pray a good night's sleep tonight and a good rest this weekend. Hang in there; we're all behind you.

    Hugs, very gentle hugs,

  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I'm so sorry that you have had such a bad week. Maybe you hurt so bad because it's your first week back to work.

    I agree with everything that dancingstar said--I was basically going to say the same thing.

    Next time she tells you what you are wearing is not appropriate--ask her why, especially if it is similar to what everyone else is wearing.

    It would be really hard to have a boss who is a lot younger than you--especially when you have a lot of experience!

    Rest up this weekend, dear.

  9. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    I had to work with a teacher one time who was very negative and intimidating and cynical and really kind of mean. I just told her to come over and eat with us in my classroom every day and brought her muffins. I asked her if I could pick up her mail, etc.
    To cut a long story short, she quit being ugly to me. It does cost something in effort because she wasn't very good company! But she did retire at the end of the year!!!

  10. jennypee

    jennypee New Member

    I'm so sorry about your situation Tigger-- I feel for ya!

    I'm about to start a new job and I'm scared to death. Mostly because I KNOW I can't handle it physically and I'm totally setting myself up for failure, which I despise. Still, I just want to try one last time before I do the disability thing. I really wanted this job.

    I liked what Jake said about being extra nice. I'm a firm believer in "killing 'em with kindness." It works almost every time--- it's really hard for even the nastiest person to be mean to someone who is being nice.

    Good luck!
  11. KelB

    KelB New Member

    Tigger, I've been reading about your fight with work over the months and I'm so sorry that this job is proving to be a dud.

    I agree with the above, about making notes of all instances where you're being picked on or belittled.

    I would also say that anything you make a note of, you need to say to your supervisor at the time it happens. If you go to her boss in a week's time with a list of grievances that your supervisor knows nothing about, she can just claim innocence and say that she didn't know there was a problem.

    If she explains something poorly and you don't understand - let her know. Don't let her off the hook until you do understand. If she decides to walk away knowing that you don't understand, that's a black mark against her instead of you.

    If she does something or makes you do something that causes pain, explain very sweetly and calmly. If she ignores you or insists you continue - another black mark against her.

    Basically, as long as you keep telling her at the time and documenting the problems as she's told about them, then she's just digging herself a nice deep hole by ignoring you.

    I know how hard it is, but if you grit your teeth and stay polite, then she'll always be in the wrong. That's your ammunition with her boss.

    (((MORE HUGS)))
  12. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    so sorry about the job. I dont see that keeping a record of what your supervisor does will help, you're the new person and she's probably been there for a long time. Who do you think they will listen to?

    Maybe confronting her would be better, ask her if she has a problem with you? THats a hard thing to do though when you've just started a job.

    It's awful when you have someone like that over you.

    I remember when I was able to work and every weekend was spent lying on the couch or in bed recuperating from the previous week, it's very hard going.

    Keep looking for another job and check out disability meanwhile.

    I'm sorry it's turned out like that, you were so looking forward to it.


  13. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Like Rosie said, she has been there a long time. She hasn't come right out and say anything derogatory except about the clothes I was wearing and the fact that I need to pick up speed in a project I was doing. Her training was the problem. Then they had me calling places and verifying how the president of so-and-so company is. I did that most of the week... boring.

    Then when I got the project I knew it would be nearly impossible to get it done in time. I had to keep referring to my notes because she wasn't about to help me... that is until 4:45 when she wanted to play the "hero" in front of the president.

    As a lot of you mentioned, it's only been one week. I would have thought that I'd be given a little time to learn how to do the things the way they (or she) wants them dond.

    It's certainly not because I can't type, because I can type about 100 wpm.

    I've been trying the "kill her with kindness" routine. I am still going to look for another job.

    I thought it was going to be more relaxed than it is... actually it does seem more relaxed for everyone else and I'm sure that has to do with me being new.

    However, for $12 per hour when I have and Associate's degree and a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration/Business Management, I think I deserve more.

    I took the job because my unemployment was running out. I had only enough left for one more check.

    I still am in pain and exhausted. I'm scared too. I can't be without a job again. The real sad part is... my take home pay will probably be less than what I was getting for unemployment.

  14. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I have the same qualification BA honours in Business (UK).

    You know, she just might be a bit jealous of that, maybe you are more qualified than she is. I just bet you are, not that knowing is going to help but it could be the reason.

    $12 an hour is awful with your qualifications but I know sometimes you just have to take what's on offer.

    Keep looking.

  15. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    BIG CYBER HUGS to you,

    I`m so sorry your going through all this. I give you pick props for working yet. It must be so hard. I always loved working but hated all the office politics. You always seem to have one big trouble maker in every bunch. Your office manager sounds like she`s it. Kill her with kindness like someone else suggested. If that doesn`t work your going to have to kick her A**. Just kidding but your in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the situation gets better soon.
  16. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Tigger , I am so sorry , I was so hoping , as I know you were too, that this would be a great job for you!!

    She does sound very unreasonable and you have only been there 5 days, how could you possibly be doing what those who have been there years be doing??

    I don't know why the younger generation has such a chip on their shoulders but they sure do.

    Hope things get better, please keep looking though tig, you don't or shouldn't have to put up with that

  17. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Hello tiger57 .. I think rosiebud has a point about that woman feeling insecure around you .. obviously her "teaching" abilities STINK ..
    I have a girlfriend in a very similar situation at her new job .. I mentioned the same thing to her .. that her "little witch" is probably insecure about my friend's experience and knowledge .. it really sucks for her too. If it weren't for this woman she would really relax and love the job.
    I hope things improve for you some how .. that you find a better paying job eventually .. perhaps if you look at it as a temporary situation and you will be leaving it behind.
    Good Luck
    Fudge : )
  18. Musica

    Musica New Member

    The whole situation stinks, Tigger. I know people who have had to work, and WANTED to work and be productive, but have had such a difficult time because of the pain and fatigue. Sometimes, it does take trying a job and seeing if it does or doesn't work, then seeing if another one works better. I hope you go find another job soon; what reason would you give for leaving this one so soon?

    It seems to be insult on insult that your rheumy won't call you back. Does he have a nurse who makes calls for him? My rheumy does, and so my calls are answered usually the same day.

    It really sucks that your time off work is spent recovering from work. That's not an acceptable situation! I don't know if there is much to be done about your boss, except win her over with kindness, time and a good job - or never mind and find a better job.

    Tigger, I've always appreciated your posts and I hope you can find something much better for you very quickly.
  19. laura81655

    laura81655 New Member

    I skimmed through most of your replies and I noticed what degrees you have, how fast you type, etc. Isn't there any way you could find some kind of work with your experience and work from home? What about medical Transcriptionist?

    I have a friend with fibro who works from home making good money, and you sound so intelligent, could probably pick it up fast. The only thing is that she said some of these positions are being out-sourced.

    Could you talk with a Disablity lawyer and see if you could get SSDI and maybe still work part-time from home to supplement?

    I'm so sorry you have to work with that little b****. It's bad enough you have to battle the pain, and that on top of it.

    I pray that something will work out for you!


  20. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I've been feeling pretty much beaten up emotionally over this whole thing.

    I know sometimes things seem worse than they reall are, but this is not the case. I'm taking workload off the president, the Sr. Account Rep, another account rep, and the little witch herself. In addition to that I have to answer the phnoes and greet people who come in. Where does one find time in the day to get stuff done.

    Oh, and the other thing is she keeps having to use my computer to install new things on it, so, there I sit twiddling my thumbs and wasting time. I really thought that a lot of that stuff would have been taken care of before I even got there. I guess I was wrong.

    Thank you all so much for understanding. The people in my real life just don't understand.

    All I can say is that I will do my job to the best of my ability, look for another one in the mean time and I'm going to start keeping a work diary.

    I can't even beieve that I'm going through all of this for a pay that won't even cover my bills.

    Oh, and my brother gave me some money so I could by some clothes that are "suitable" for whatever she thinks is "business casual."


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