THIS ILLNESS IS WINNING THE BATTLE

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by kalaya, Apr 17, 2004.

  1. kalaya

    kalaya New Member

    Hello all I have been battling cfids for about 7 years now and due to this illness have had my life dramatically altered.The humbling of diminished capacities.I am not oblivious that this body was never meant to make the long haul with any of us,but I was an exceptional athlete and blessed with many freinds until I became stricken with this illness.True there are many out there who have similar or unfortunately worse circumstances than I and yes taking the most positive approach to any dillema is invariably the best course of action.But all that aside and being raw honest often times I feel completely defeated by the illness and wish I could remember who I was before my body betrayed me.Anyone willing to interceed to the lord on my behalf,well that would be wonderfull.God bless you all.
  2. hope2001

    hope2001 New Member

    Kalaya,

    I can understand how you must feel. I have been struggling with cfids/fms/myofascial pain disorder/etc., (and now hypo-thyroid) since I was in junior high. I posted my: Letter to family and friends, or what our family and friends should be told, or something like that....on this site. On some of these other boards a lot of people have said it helped them to verbalize their feelings. Maybe it will help you, as well.

    As for myself, I have a very strong faith in God and love to tell others about His blessings on my life. I have remarked many times through the years that it seems like (in my case - I am not speaking for others, because everyone is different and used differently....) but in my case it seems like I get flares when God knows I need "reigning in" and to be "drawn back to Him", not that I really backslide per se, but that I just need to be very alone with Him at times.

    I have an extremely outgoing and energetic personality. I can be in #11 pain (on scale of 1 - 10) and still have everyone in the room laughing, only to go home and collapse with exhaustion. I know it is hard for people to reconcile the various realities of my life. My personality being as it is, I am asked to join so many things and to participate in such worthy causes and adventures. In my "heart" I just want to do them all, and probably would, if I had the strength, and might, therefore be sidetracked from God's purpose in my life.

    Being sick for so long and mom of three kids, not to mention widowed unexpectedly when my kids were young, and having a child with epilepsy and a brain injury, I simply have had to be very selective about my "yes" answers to invitations and opportunities. I always have to give my primary YES to God and ask Him to open doors to me, AND to slam them shut in my face, to keep me from going into areas that aren't His primary desire for my path. (sometimes I feel bad about the doors slammed in my face - until God reminds me that I ASKED Him to do it, and I am not really just being rejected...lol)

    I know it must be frustrating for you! I have learned to try to use my "down" times as a chance to "be alone with God and His word" and to Praise Him for the chance to find that quiet dark place alone with Him...I also try to remember that every disciple suffered horribly in their lifetimes, as did Christ, and Why should my life be any easier (physically)? I try to realize the reality that Christ willingly came into this world knowing that he would definitely suffer greatly....and wonder if I would ever make that same choice, willingly and knowingly....


    I am not trying to proselytize! and forgive me if it sounds that way!

    As you will see from reading my "Letter to..." I also have frustrating times and envious times and lonely times. I am just expressing what has helped me to get through the years of pain and fatigue and regrets and missed experiences...I am almost 40 years old, remarried again (finally!) after raising my children alone for a number of years...and I don't know how I ever would have managed without trying to always "reset" my "norms" to those of Christ, rather than the world's norms. I hope this post doesn't sound sanctimonious, I have to always remind myself to be positive, which is uplifting to me, because the alternatives would be defeating.

    Much love and prayers for you...
    Hope
    [This Message was Edited on 04/17/2004]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/18/2004]
  3. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi Kalaya, That's a cool name!!!

    You said, "...being raw honest often times I feel completely defeated by the illness and wish I could remember who I was before my body betrayed me..."

    Isn't that the truth!!! I'm so glad that you can be honest about your feelings...God knows them anyway and your feelings don't change his love and care for you. It's at these times that I remember not to walk out my life by my feelings. This is a difficult challenge for each of us.

    You also asked, "Anyone willing to interceed to the lord on my behalf".

    I will intercede for you today! I often pray Eph 3:16ff over people in my life....it asks God for strength in your inner being, to be rooted and established in the knowledge of God's love for you, and to be filled to the measure of the fullness of God! Wow! I want that!!! It also inspires hope and faith in that it says that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask, think or even imagine in our minds according to his power at work within us. May you be strengthened with God's power today!! Here it is in case you want to read it and pray it yourself:)

    Kathy

    Eph 3:16ff I pray that out of his glorious riches that he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!
  4. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    Amen to that . May it be so.
    I need to remember that one, Thanks Kat.

    Danny
    [This Message was Edited on 04/26/2004]
  5. BILLCAMO

    BILLCAMO New Member

    & WELCOME!!!!!!!

    We all understand the challenges you face because we all do. I haven't fought my DDs as long as many people here have , but I know I have had to fight a lot of the same challenges.
    Everyone here always is included in my prayers!!!!


    There have been several things that help me with my fight... but the 2 of them that have been most useful for me are the Lord & this site.

    Perhaps you'd like to join us thurs. for our prayer night. I'll try to bump Mikie's message about it so you will have an explaination.

    Blessings , billcamo.
  6. dash

    dash New Member

    After answering several posts this morning, I am seeing a distinct problem that many of us are presently dealing with.

    Isolation, loneliness, a sense of loss. It's almost as if a spirit of despair is afflicting us.

    As I was typing this, your title "This illness is winning the battle" struck me. The battle isn't ours, The battle is the Lords! We won't win on our strength--gee most times we can't even hold our own by ourselves. But where we are weak, He is strong.

    So, I am lifting us all up that God would show Himself to be strong and mighty in our lives and come against this despair and renew our hope.

    Della
  7. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi,
    I was just listening to "Ron Kenoly - God is Able" this morning. Two phrases in songs really struck me:
    1) The battle is the Lord's
    2) Not by power nor by might but by my Spirit says the Lord.
    Thanks for the above post. Footprints of the Holy Spirit at work:)
    Kathy
  8. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I agree there seems to be a lot of feeling of despair lately. Asking our dear Lord to help you through this difficult time in your life. Also for others feeling similiar feelings of defeat and despair, help us get through this. Walk with us through this difficult illness we all suffer from, Jesus.

    Amen.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/29/2004]