This is harder than I thought

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Angee, Aug 31, 2004.

  1. Angee

    Angee Member


    I have not been here as often as i should. But i would really like for you all to pray for me. I have been a Christian for about 34 years and i am at the point that i can hardly pray for myself. I have fibro and has been diagnosed for 4+ years now. I had to quit work 2 years ago still waiting to hear from SS concerning my Claim.

    The depression from this disease is really starting to take its toll. I always thought of myself as being the person that was so intune with God that this would never happen to me. Family members and friends would always call on me when they need spiritual guidance and prayer.

    Now i feel empty inside, hardly wanting to get out of bed and face a new day. My daughter went out of her way to give me this book by Myles Monroe about prayer. This was 3 or 4 weeks ago and every time i pick up the book i can only read about a couple of sentences. Has anyone experienced this. Please pray for me I dont want to be like this especially around my family.


    God Bless

    Love Angee
  2. Angee

    Angee Member



    I thank you all so much i really am glad that i sent that message. For i know God is with me because for a week or 2 i have not even wanted to talk about our anything. After reading your responces i realized that God does want us to fight thru all that we go thru not just give in to these feelings and camp out there. Again thanks so much i really do feel better already just knowing that the enemy will always trie he will never leave us alone.

    I thought I would be able to conqure anything. I know i need to Give It ALL to GOD, for it is he who gives us the power to conquer.

    God Bless

    Love
    Angee
  3. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    I am printing the awesome replies that these strong women of God gave to you, Angee. I'm going to keep them in my prayer journal and refer to them for strength.

    See Angee you are minitstering to me right now, because of your request, these replies were put out for all of us to benefit.

    I will pray for you to Angee. I know something about where you are at. With this disease it seems cyclical (sp?). We are up for a good while, then in despair for a while. I keep thinking I will just even out....I'm praying for that to happen for all of us.

    I know it's a cliche, but keep the faith! Really! You have a sweet spirit just waiting to come out. Find your way throught this tunnel and be in the light again. We're rallying for you- check back and let us know how you are doing! WE care!

    Blessings,
    Carlie

    [This Message was Edited on 09/01/2004]
  4. deb06

    deb06 New Member

    Yesterday was my first visit to this site. I live eastern North Dakota, been married for close to 20 years and have a boy 16, and a beautiful girl (looks like me :>)) who is 13. I have been seeking something like this, and stumbled upon this site yesterday morning. It is almost tailored made for me, and I am glad I got this laptop from my husband for my bday this summer because I hurt too much to sit at a desk for any length of time. My story is long and involved, so I can't possibly tell you all I would like to about myself. I worked since I was 14. I worked about 8 years in pain before I gave up a great job I loved. I retrained myself and tried to home marketing for a chiropractor for 2 years before I had nothing left to give to my family. I was in agony every minute I was not working. I had to quit- not because I was lazy and didn't want to work.

    I am now 40. I had 5 doctors document my permanent and complete disability. I prayed along with many, many people that I would get disabiltiy benefits. I knew that since I was telling the complete truth that justice would be served eventually. I waited 6 months for the Judge (after 3 years of applying for benefits) to send me a 60 page denial calling me a liar in EVERY possible way and I did not understand why God didn't answer my prayer. Stress makes me hurt- pain makes me depressed. It is a hard way to live. The devil was very, very happy about now. He had my faith at an all time low.

    It is now about 6 months later. I have filed a new case- with no, NO help from my so called attorney. I have filed an Appeal that I know I won't win. I fear for my my future. I feel like a burden often. But the lord has brought me through it. I began making and carrying out a plan and taking back control of my life and health. It was so hard but I make myself do the things that make me happiest every day I can. I keep records and have a dry erase board by my chair that I cross off these things and feel a sense of accomplishment. I make sure to read the Bible, try to do my excercizes and PT and walk a little every day among many things. Most of all, I was not going to let the devil think he won. God has blessed me so much. I am not even sure I would have been born again if it weren't for all the problems I have had with Fibro. I have grown tremendously as a person. People who go through problems such as ours can be some of the most wonderful inspirational people you can ever meet. We take nothing for granted.

    I hold on to the Lord's promises. He obviously has something better in mind for me. One of the greatest moments of my life was when my Pastors wife told me that through all my pain and problems- that the Lord shines from me. I could cry now remembering her saying this. We can be an inspiration for others when we can continue to put faith in the Lord even though His plans for us might be different than we had planned on. I have also been proactive in getting the right medications and getting all the help I can to have a quality of life and be thankful for what I do have- and that I don't have many other conditions that are much more terrible than Fibro.

    I plan on coming here daily and will try to pray for all those who post requests. Heaven knows we need all the prayers and support that we can get. I would appreciate it if you would also pray for my health. I still go through agony a good part of every month. I do fear that even though I know in my heart that the Lord has my best in mind and will see me through, that I will hit another bottom again and have a hard time getting out of it when/if I get another denial from disability.


    You are all in my thoughts and prayers,
    Deb

    [This Message was Edited on 09/04/2004]
  5. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Sending prayers up for you as requested. This is so hard to live with, it just about destroys us. I just went through a really tough period myself and thought it would never end. But finally, I am coming out the other side and seeing rainbows again.

    I am starting to feel alot better and you will too. WHen things get like this, we just have to wait it out, and it too shall pass.

    Hugs,
    Sandy

  6. scissorsqueen

    scissorsqueen New Member

    If God brings you to it; God will bring you through it....
    Keep the faith....I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me....God Bless
  7. deb06

    deb06 New Member

    Thanks so much for your message to me. I already feel like I know you and like you from the previous messages I have read from you prior. You are absolutely right, and I feel so blessed to have happened upon this site because of you and the other wonderful people that are here. I am so happy that there is this "worship" board, because it is easy to put people off when referring to the Lord as often as we Christians do. People don't understand that we aren't trying to be pious or "holier than thou" like I have been called before- but it comes as naturally to us as breathing. If it took health problems to bring me into a personal relationship with the Lord- then I am thankful for it. I still have to live this life in pain daily, however, which is extremely hard even is you love the Lord. It is a constant struggle to stay above water- (I get those sayings mixed up sometimes :>) lol- And it is so hard to explain to anyone what you are going through when you can barely keep track or understand yourself. The Lord is my salvation and light and without Him I would not have come through all the suffering I have endured. I do fear for my reaction when I get another denail from disability- which I undoubtedly will. I am still hoping and praying for a miracle that the Lord could bring about easily if He should so choose. I would appreciate all the prayer support I can get in this regard. Thanks to all who will keep me in their prayers!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/03/2004]
  8. deb06

    deb06 New Member

    thanks, and I plan on doing just that. I wish I could just move the one I wrote to a new thread-but I don't know how. I hurt too much now and I can't think good right now. But it made my day to find this site. I have no idea why all the knowledge I have gathered has been through me only me over the last 10 years. I have had to take charge of even telling the drs what to do and prescribe. By the way- have you heard of the "miracle ball method"? I did order it because it sounded good for pressure point therapy and stretching our muscles gently. You can get the book by Elaine Petrone and 2 balls for under $20 at Amazon.com. Works very well for me and can get some areas that nothing else can on my back etc. You can look up her web site (her name.com) and check it out. More expensive there than on amazon. I'm cheap- as we all have to be when we are so hi-maintenance:>)
  9. deb06

    deb06 New Member

    Thanks for the suggestions. I revised my long message and retitled it "please pray for me" on this thread. I really tried to make it into a new thread or bump it, but I can;t figure it out. It you could, I would love it if you could copy and paste it on a new thread. That would be great! Thanks- you're a sweatheart.
  10. marta

    marta New Member

    Depression is one hard sucker! It undermines the very spirit of us and makes us forget the power we have through God. You know this, of course....

    Sometimes people with faith think they shouldn't falter or be angry. Remember that depression is anger turned inward. Have you had a good scream lately? I sometimes get in my car, head out to a quiet road and SCREAM. If I need to, I stop and scream some more, cry or rant - whatever. Get the anger out. Turn the depression into a rant at the illness which deserves it. It's OK to be mad!

    Meanwhile I pray that you have peace of mind and patience with yourself.

    Marta