This is Making Me SICK Tachycardia( Help)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Crispangel66, Mar 28, 2006.

  1. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    My sister in-law hasn't stopped yet. I had thought that the problems were over but boy was I wrong.

    As many of you know I went on a trip with her and my brother and before we ever left I made sure when they were coming back.

    Well once we got down there they changed their minds and wanted to stay longer, well then I gave in to them and told them we would stay.

    Then later they get a phone call saying they need to come back the day I wanted to come home.

    Well I was nice to them and she seemed nice to me.

    Then today a mutual friend came over to my house and told me that she had been talking about me behind my back.

    Also there are other people who have been acting strange to me and my husband well I found out she has told them all lies and said we were bad people.

    All we have done is been nice, my husband fixes all these peoples cars for free, he helps them move, they have a lake store they run and we go out there to help them work, my husband more than I and we never ask for them to pay us.

    This is on Saturday and Sunday when we could be spending time together as a family but instead we are out there helping them.

    I have been having more tachycardia and my blood pressure has been bad, I am begining to think that I might have to cut ties, but she is married to my only real brother.

    He and I have been through so much together, when I was abused as a child he was there being abused right along with me.

    But I am not sure I can physically take it anymore, no this is not the first time something like this is happened but before I have forgiven all, but I am not sure I can anymore.

    I feel bad for my son though if I do cut ties because he has always thought of her parents as his grandparents since my mother and mother in-law and father in-law are all dead.

    And if you make her mad then they want nothong to do with you, I am sitting here crying not knowing what to do.

    I think I may just not go out and see them or call them for a little while and see what happens.

    To me this is just silly since they were going to get their way until her parents called and wanted them to come home sooner, well that's not my fault.

    Sorry this is so long just needed to get this out. Earlier today my heartrate was 159 and my blood pressure was 198/110 so I really need to try and relax about this.

    Pamela
    [This Message was Edited on 03/29/2006]
  2. chloeuk

    chloeuk New Member

    Hi Pamela,

    My view on family problems is that if they are affecting your health then that affects "your family" by that I mean, husband and kids...then you are obligated to completely cut these people out of your life.

    This is based on my own experience, I wont go into hreat detail but basically my sister has manic depression and I spent most of my life being mentally abused by her, I became very ill and her behaviour didnt change in fact worsened b/c all of a sudden I was getting attention and she wasnt...so on the day she threatned to kill me...I made a decision and I havent spoken to her or seen her since, that includes my neice and nephew and for a year also my mum.

    It was the best decision I ever made, my health improved dramatically and I moved with "my family" from the UK to Australia a year ago...my mum has visited and if anything it has made our relationship stronger.

    Health wise I suffer with tachycardia also and find it makes me very dizzy, I was prescribed stemetil and that has helped, my blood pressure is low, but rhr is 100 when I stand it goes up to 135 and has been as high as 175..I am seeing a cardiologist next week, they think I have a thing called pots which is blood pooling in your legs so heart has to work hard to get around body so hr goes up.

    I am sorry for your trouble but it really isnt a choice here...do you want your children to suffer because you are ill because someone upset you so much that your BP goes that high,,,no choice

    take care
    Chloe
  3. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    You are not able to give love to others unless you recognize that you need to love YOURSELF first.

    Have a heart-to-heart with your brother and explain the situation to him. That you love him, he is welcome anytime, but your SIL is not. Period. That he and SIL will have to stand on their own two feet and ask other friends for help when they need it or hire the help or do it THEMSELVES.

    If he gets upset and says that he won't be coming without her that is his choice to make. You can't make it for him.

    Your son will be okay. He won't understand right now, and if he doesn't when he gets older, it's his right to choose to continue a relationship with them on his own.

    Take care of yourself before you have a heart attack or a stroke - I am very serious - you are at very high risk for one now with uncontrolled blood pressure and tachy. Do you realize that if your tachy moves into ventricular fibrillation (which it can all too easily) that you will be brain dead if you are down without being defibrillated within the first 5 minutes?

    I'm sure your son and your husband would be a hell of a lot more traumatized if YOU died as a result of this. I'm sure they wouldn't trade YOUR LIFE for an additional set of step-grandparents.

    I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but you need to stop the insanity now. In recovery, we define the word insanity as doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie

  4. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    I think both of you are right. I will have to cut ties with her at least. Today my pulse got as high as 170, so I stayed in bed all day to try and keep it from going any higher. But I know the problems is that I keep thinking about it. She and I were as close as sisters before. My husband is so sweet, he works for the school and gets a free lunch and so I wouldn't have to get up out of bed except to use the restroom he brought me a lunch from school and it was actually good. I usually start having fainting spells when my pulse gets this high so I am being as careful as possible. My pulse finally settled down to about 140. So maybe I will start doing better soon.
    Thanks again to both of you, Pamela
  5. kriket

    kriket New Member



    I was having the same problem. I finally went to see a cardiologist. I was about 22 or 23 at the time. My heart would race and was worse with stress. It would beat about 140 all the time. He put me on a beta-blocker. Toprol. It keeps my heart rate down to normal. If I miss one dose though, there my heart goes again. Have you seen a doctor? If not, you really need to get this seen about. Hope you are feeling better real soon.

    Kriket
  6. Dara

    Dara New Member

    it is normal. My pulse at rest was about 150 when the doctor diagnosed me.

    Toxic relationships can do that to you. For the sake of your health and your husband and child, please be sure and stay under a doctors care. I'm sure your doctor would advise you to get rid of the stressors in your life, in your case the sister in law.

    I also will stew and think over and over about something when I'm upset by someone. But, it never stopped the problem, it only made me worse.

    My doctor put me on Effexor and since then I do not worry and obcess over things I can not control. The effexor is an anti-depressant but also helps OCD. I no longer lay awake at night thinking of all the 'what if's', You can't control what your SIL does or says, but you can control how it affects your.

    I would tell your friends/family that you don't want to hear anything about what she is saying about you or your family, because you just don't care.

    Good luck, and please see a doctor ASAP. The blood pressure and pulse rate is extremely high.

    Take care please,
    Dara
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Pamela:
    I hope you are more calm now and got some rest.
    I once heard someone say that if someone is talking about you behind your back it just goes to show how important you are to that person. Good or bad.

    I have a rapid heartrate also and hypertension. I am on meds for both, but in a seemingly no-win situation I just throw up my hands and let the chips fall where they may.

    The best thing you can do is take care of your health and the heck with everything else.

    NyroFan
  8. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    What Prickles once posted: The only person you can change is one in a diaper.


    Good advice. This SIl gives you grief for sure. But you just have to try and not let her get to you.

    It is the way some people are. Very controling etc. Just try and say her opinion is unimportant to you.


    You have to let this go for your own sake.


    Love Anne C
  9. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    I appreciate all of your advice everyone. Take care everyone, as I am trying to do.

    Pamela
  10. moonchild1970

    moonchild1970 New Member

    I have to admit I felt guilty, but I too cut ties and it was the best thing I ever did. My health improved dramatically. I was even able to go off of some of my meds!! Without all that negative energy in my life I feel so much better.
  11. spacee

    spacee Member

    With hubby's family and friends and some other friends. It was only after years that I finally realized that they all had something in common (besides not believing that I was sick. lol). They would talk and talk nonstop for 30-45 mins about what was going on with their lives. I have come to realize that I can only carry on a conversation with a person who will "hit the ball (like tennis) to you and then you "hit it back". A give and take pattern. It must use different parts of the brain that way which I can handle. Otherwise, it puts me in bed for a couple of hours at least.

    Hugs, Spacee
  12. babygirl44

    babygirl44 New Member

    Would like to know if your doc is treating you for fibro can't find anyone here and sounds like your not far away
  13. moonchild1970

    moonchild1970 New Member

    Who me? I was dx with fibro back in '98. I was getting treatment in NE (on Guafenesin and Elavil)but then moved out here to WA and they thought it was MS,(a DR told me that they don't really believe in fibro out here) but turns out it is still fibro. So am in the middle of getting a referall to a new rheumy who I am told DOES believe in Fibro....
    [This Message was Edited on 04/01/2006]
  14. babygirl44

    babygirl44 New Member

    Thanks for your response