this too shall pass, but when, need to vent--help!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by griswoldgirl, Dec 10, 2002.

  1. griswoldgirl

    griswoldgirl New Member

    As if I am not going through enough with my recent knee surgery not being a sucess and the thought of going through total reconstruction to repair my ACL and a grouling additional 6-8 months out of work with no income thus far (still fighting disability) one of my daughers friends took my oxycontin Friday night.

    It has been an interesting experience. The biggest lesson I have learned is that my body is certainly dependant upon it and it works great--the amount of pain I am going through is unbearable. Of course with controled substances even with a police report I cannot get a refil unless I want to pay cash for it and even then my phamacy will not refill it until December 21st. In the meantime my doc put me on MS contin which stinks. I hate it--leaves me dizzy, anxious, red eyed and on top of that does not relieve the pain as well. It will have to do until the 21st because I certainly cannot afford to refill it at my expence.

    I do have to cheer for my pain doc though he actually met me at his office on Saturday morning and wrote me the script for the ms contin and believed me and did not treat me like a drug seeker--he is a God send!!

    I have not posted much lately, been extreemly down and depressed, sick as a dog with sinus infection that will not quite for 2 weeks and a knee that is really erking me. I had to go to Duke University for second opinion on whether or not to repair my torn ACL. My physical therapy is not working out well, always swollen and very painful. Therapist feels it is from the unstable ACL--my tibia keeps slipping forward and it hurts like the dikkens, feels like I keep stepping in hole. After this happens estreme pain for hours with swelling-------so I have been spending a lot of time with my leg on ice watching lifetime movies----uggggggggg! Trying to read but sinus infection has affected my eyes, they are bloodshot and blurry and cannot focus on reading at all.

    i am basically a basket case lately. Going to my shrink to talk about my antidepressant--not working at all and I am having panic attacks and free flowing axiety all the time and am a down right bi*** all the time. My poor kids, they are so done with me. They are angry all the time and tired of doing for me. I am tired of my house being a total pig sty and am very sick and tired of being sick and tired. I do not seem to have the strength I had with my spinal surgery or my hysterectomy. This time I am knocked out for the count and after 3 months still am not doing well at all with my fibro. I must say this is the worse it has ever been since I have had it. My CFS is acting up too-sleep is all I want to do--I figure you cannot hurt if you are sleeping and you do not have to think--my brain goes round and around constantly. I am even unable to calm myself enought to meditate and that has always been my saving grace.

    I know this too shall pass, but the question is WHEN?

    My MRI was negative do not remember if I posted that. so the thinker is working correctly according to the medical community--ha ha if they could see my thoughts far from healthy trust me LOL

    Still have my sense of humor and some decent days to smile about here and there, I savor those because they are few and far inbetween.

    Sorry so long but had to vent

    cathy
  2. griswoldgirl

    griswoldgirl New Member

    As if I am not going through enough with my recent knee surgery not being a sucess and the thought of going through total reconstruction to repair my ACL and a grouling additional 6-8 months out of work with no income thus far (still fighting disability) one of my daughers friends took my oxycontin Friday night.

    It has been an interesting experience. The biggest lesson I have learned is that my body is certainly dependant upon it and it works great--the amount of pain I am going through is unbearable. Of course with controled substances even with a police report I cannot get a refil unless I want to pay cash for it and even then my phamacy will not refill it until December 21st. In the meantime my doc put me on MS contin which stinks. I hate it--leaves me dizzy, anxious, red eyed and on top of that does not relieve the pain as well. It will have to do until the 21st because I certainly cannot afford to refill it at my expence.

    I do have to cheer for my pain doc though he actually met me at his office on Saturday morning and wrote me the script for the ms contin and believed me and did not treat me like a drug seeker--he is a God send!!

    I have not posted much lately, been extreemly down and depressed, sick as a dog with sinus infection that will not quite for 2 weeks and a knee that is really erking me. I had to go to Duke University for second opinion on whether or not to repair my torn ACL. My physical therapy is not working out well, always swollen and very painful. Therapist feels it is from the unstable ACL--my tibia keeps slipping forward and it hurts like the dikkens, feels like I keep stepping in hole. After this happens estreme pain for hours with swelling-------so I have been spending a lot of time with my leg on ice watching lifetime movies----uggggggggg! Trying to read but sinus infection has affected my eyes, they are bloodshot and blurry and cannot focus on reading at all.

    i am basically a basket case lately. Going to my shrink to talk about my antidepressant--not working at all and I am having panic attacks and free flowing axiety all the time and am a down right bi*** all the time. My poor kids, they are so done with me. They are angry all the time and tired of doing for me. I am tired of my house being a total pig sty and am very sick and tired of being sick and tired. I do not seem to have the strength I had with my spinal surgery or my hysterectomy. This time I am knocked out for the count and after 3 months still am not doing well at all with my fibro. I must say this is the worse it has ever been since I have had it. My CFS is acting up too-sleep is all I want to do--I figure you cannot hurt if you are sleeping and you do not have to think--my brain goes round and around constantly. I am even unable to calm myself enought to meditate and that has always been my saving grace.

    I know this too shall pass, but the question is WHEN?

    My MRI was negative do not remember if I posted that. so the thinker is working correctly according to the medical community--ha ha if they could see my thoughts far from healthy trust me LOL

    Still have my sense of humor and some decent days to smile about here and there, I savor those because they are few and far inbetween.

    Sorry so long but had to vent

    cathy
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I am so sorry for all this. You are in my prayers.

    Love, Mikie
  4. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    you are going through a really rough time. Sometimes when I feel totally overwhelmed and everything feels like it's closing in on me and is hopeless, it makes me feel better to just be able to vent about it. I hope this had helped you. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

    Karen
  5. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    headed your way! Hope that you are feeling better real soon.
    Kathryn
  6. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    I am SO sorry for what you're having to endure. Since I started the Oxy a few weeks ago, I have had a horrible fear of someone stealing it and I just KNOW the pain would be unbearable, as it is extremely painful at times WITH the Oxy! I was advised to hide the med and keep my doors locked and to keep quiet to my acquaintances about the fact that I take this med. I had Valium stolen once from a *friend* of mine and I felt so betrayed. I never told anyone about it because I didn't want to be accused of making the story up to get more drugs. Ironically, I was pregnant and I was prescribed Valium 5 mg. to prevent the seizures I'd been having and I just stopped the med. abruptly when it was stolen~~~not smart, but I did fine!
    I'll send up a prayer for you, as well, and my thoughts will be with you!
    With love and empathy,
    Kady
  7. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you. It certainly is not what you needed at this point. I'll keep you in my prayers, too. Sending lots of hugs your way.

    Barbara
  8. Stormy214

    Stormy214 New Member

    My heart goes out to you! It is so sad that we have to be so secretive about what we take, but that's about the only thing that can prevent such atrocities. The prescription drug problem at our school is community-renowned, and all the doctors are so paranoid! I've let NOBODY outside my family know what I'm taking. I'm sorry for your pain, and hope you can find some relief, somehow, between now and then!
    Peace and Love,
    Stormy
  9. BonBons

    BonBons New Member

    I recently saw a TV show where a husband always went with his wife to pick up her oxy at the pharmacy. Here it is a major problem - one guy robbed nearly all the Walgreen's before getting caught. He was desperate, he said. You must feel so violated - one of my son's "friends" took nearly all of my gifts of jewelry and cash from my purse before I finally discovered it. It sounds so trite, but I hope you get a miracle - this is the season. BonBon