This Whole Thing Is Really Getting To Me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by wrthster, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. wrthster

    wrthster New Member

    I just wanted to see if I am alone here. I really feel like dealing with this has taken such a strong toll on me mentally. Between dealing with the doctors, family member and friends who think I'm crazy, trying to self treat and making myself worse because the doctors would not help has really taken its toll.

    I worked up until 2002 when I returned from Puerto Rico very sick. I have never been the same since. When I quit work I was determined to find out what was wrong from me. Prior to Puerto Rico, I was sick but always was able to deal with it even though I had a lot of Physical problems.

    After Puerto Rico I just got so much worse. I tried to go back to work but it never worked out. Now I am waiting on a ALJ hearing. But sometimes I wonder, because I have too much time to think. Just talking out loud, this whole thing is really getting to me. Plus the severe sleep deprevation is getting to me.
  2. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    ((((((BIG HUGS ))))))) i know this sux!!! BLKKAT
  3. Reidsbeads

    Reidsbeads New Member

    I have been having really bad sleep problems lately myself and In turn it makes the pain a whole lot more intolerable.
    This is the right place to be if you need to vent cause most "NORMAL" people have no clue what our bodies and minds are going through. We do and were here to help. I have no idea what an ALJ hearing is, but good luck with it.
    Except for my husband and youngest son; no one gives a crap about me and my condition which seems to be getting worse by the day. I still havent gotten my disability and my poor husband (bless his heart) is working 6 and 7 days a week to keep up and he has really bad problems with his feet and he works on them 12 hours a day.

    I feel like such a burdon to him, but he never takes it out on me. He vents and I truely dont blame him cause I could never do what he does with the kind of pain he is in.

    We all go through it but coming here to vent or just reading other peoples posts which can be very funny sometimes. We were just talking about the way we forget stuff or your brain is saying one thing while your mouth comes out with stuff that has nothing to do with the conversation you were just in!! I forgot the the name of the post! I was going to have you read it but I forgot the name! DUH TO ME! lol
    Other posts you read and realize that your not alone in this. You have friends here. Cheer up!! Things are bound to get better any minute now:} I will go get the name of the post, cause it was really funny.
    The name of the post id..............................
    "PLUG WAS PULLED... WHAT IF IT HAPPENS IN PUBLIC"
    Read it if nothing else it will give you a little chuckle.
    Tam

    [This Message was Edited on 04/17/2007]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/17/2007]
  4. desertlass

    desertlass New Member

    It takes everything I have to get through some days. Some days I can get my mind off of it, some days I am forced to think about other things, but some days are just plain miserable and nothing in my "bag 'o coping tricks" is quite up to the task.

    It's okay to get depressed about it once in a while. Those are the days when we need to just feel what we feel. When the misery lets up some, we can usually go back to whatever worked before, or find a new thing.

    But I would have to say that sleep deprivation is the thing that can unravel us the quickest and most severely. Do whatever you feel it takes to get a stretch of sleep, and when you do, notice what an accomplishment it was on your part to be able to get it. Tell yourself good job on getting those hours of sleep in! I bet that is harder to do right now than any job you had in the past. It deserves recognition because it's not always a freebie!

    "Sleep knits up the raveled sleeve of care"-- Shakespeare.

    "No sleep unravels my sleeve up which I kept all my cares and now they're multiplying!"-- me
  5. obrnlc

    obrnlc New Member

    hi wrthster
    you're sure not alone on this one!

    we have all searched for so long for answers, or even recognition of our sanity, it does get to you at times.
    and waiting on the ALJ hearing is a SUPER stressful time, is it scheduled yet?

    the thing with fibro/cfs is that there is no "black and white" and no fixed answers and so many people still doubt us that is normal to doubt ourselves.

    i offer no solutions, except to agree with noenergy above to try to deal with & distract, but that is easier said than done. Maybe with spring coming you will start to feel a little better, and get outside in the sun some more, etc.--not a solution but it sure feels good on those muscles!

    just know that you are not alone, we have all been there. with 99% of the population telling us we are crazy, etc., i've even said "OK so if i AM crazy, now how do we fix it?" and there are still no answers.

    chronic pain is awful, but don't let it get the best of you!

    have a better day today--L
  6. Jordane

    Jordane New Member


    Wrthster, looking and looking for answers.

    Trying this and that!!!

    Doing this and that!!!

    Can really suck you down into that deep pit of despair.

    But... DONT give up!!!!

    Take Care!!
    hugs,
    Jordane
  7. jole

    jole Member

    It seems the mind can only take so much. Mine has in fact been known to totally shut down on occasions where I cannot even think, feel emotions, or care. I just am. That is the worst part of this dd to me. The part that I have absolutely no control over.

    I can take meds for the pain, anxiety, depression, etc. But the mind has a life of its own, and when I get to feeling like this there is nothing I can do about it.

    Friends - Jole
  8. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    I feel like I want to take a vacation from this illness, when I say that I mean the things we deal with daily, doctor's, ssdi, trying to find new treatments and so forth, this is a full time job in itself! Sometimes I just have to sit back and not worry about all that junk and just be content with who I am now. All of this other stuff just adds so much more stress to the illness! I saw a new doctor last week, when I left, I was in so much pain, my IBS flared up and I was absolutely miserable. Well I gave myself a break from it, I chose what I wanted to do about what they said and now I'm working on a couple of the things they want me to do. Work on the sleep thing and try to forget about the other things for a short while, you will be more equipped to handle what comes your way.

    god Bless
  9. candi40

    candi40 New Member

    I am having a hard time dealing with this too. I am only 34, why me, you know? My employer has been pretty good, but they can only take so much of me leaving early or not coming in. And no one understands - "Oh, you're wearing lipstick and laughing more today, you must be feeling pretty good!" NO, I'M NOT, I'm just trying not to let this drag me down any more. I am in a crying phase right now, any little thing gets me going.

    But, then I call my Stepmom, who has terminal breast cancer and has to take chemo every other week for the rest of her life. Makes me realize I don't have it so bad. (It still hurts, though).

    The stress is definitely bad, and as others have posted, sleep is probably the most important thing that can make or break fibro. Talk to your doc to see about something to help you sleep.
  10. wrthster

    wrthster New Member

    Thank you all very much, it really helps to have all of your support on this board. I wish all of you the best.
  11. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    sorry to say, i think i already 'turned the corner' and fell down the rabbit hole on it all 'getting to me'
    You're not just talking out loud...thank you for speaking so openly and clearly.
    Must be something extra going on..tides or a planetary shift or something because we got a whole lotta people going thru this stuff right now.
  12. FANNtasy

    FANNtasy New Member

    I too have episodes of my mind, in fact totally shuting down on occasions as well. Where I cannot even think, feel emotions, or care.
    I myself have been really ill with FMS/CFS chronically for 4 whole years. Flu like feeling, body aches, stiffness, then mix in IBS, restless leg on occasion with panic disorder and migrain headaches that last for months. I...!!!??? aahh, you get the picture.
    But of all the things Ive ever lost, I miss my mind the most!
    Feel Well, Felicia
  13. roseants

    roseants New Member

    You are so not alone! We all feel this way. This disease if an overwelming thing, sometimes we feel as though we can never escape its clutches..... Take heart and know that we are with you, and we care, and WE UNDERSTAND exactly how you feel!
  14. roge

    roge Member

    you are not alone man

    the self treating, dr. hopping, researching, and just manging this disease can just be overwhelming at times....throw in dealing with lawyers and insurers for me as well - a ball of joy.

    I know personally i have been very focused on research and self treating last 8 mths as I have deteriorated and I am just not the type of man to sit back , however I am realizing as well that balance is very important and trying to not let this disease and all that comes with it be all I am about....ie. if i feel decent , I might now doing something I enjoy as opposed to doing research...

    hang in there dood

    peace

    roge
  15. clerty

    clerty New Member

    I was feeling like this a few weeks ago and was having terrible thoughts eveyone was very supportive to me so I hope I can give some support back lack of seep was making me take panic attacks I agree that we do think a lot about or condition and It is hard to turn off at times I know myself I have went downhill in the last 3 years and always looking for the cure comparing myself to others on here all I can say is hang in there and keep trying the protocols.

    hugs xxxxxxxxxx
    Clerty