Tired and Scared

Discussion in 'Financial, Disability and Legal Resources' started by HU1981, Sep 16, 2011.

  1. HU1981

    HU1981 New Member

    Have come to the end of my strength and I can't seem to make anyone understand ..feels like I waited too long holding out hope that I could fix my health because Dr Bell and Fuhrman and Teitelbaum say there is hope..only I can't keep a decent enough paying job to afford the products due to insomnia, PAIN and low energy after working the stupid job to even prepare the fresh, labor intensive meals to nourish my body and be a SUCCESS STORY but nearly 40 yrs of pressing being denied SSD 2x before I had a diagnosis all has me terrified of fighting with my last shred of ..well, my last..right on the edge and afraid it really just is hopeless as it feels and let go. What happens then..homelessness..hunger?.Do I have to harm myself to appear unwell enough to get help that I have been asking for these 40 yrs. ? I have been told "you don't look sick" so many times I believe they'd just let me die while observing how I didn't look sick and questioning why I'd just give up. Sick of the isolation because I have no energy to get out and engage in activities cause I have to conserve every bit of energy for work, household chores and hygiene
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Welcome and I'm sorry for what you are going through, and add going through the Social Security Disability application process to that too is really pushing many right to the edge.

    Please understand that whether you look disabled or not does not determine your disability. There are INVISIABLE DISABILITIES that are not seem from the outside, like depression, fibro, some lupus ailments, chronic fatigue, severe migraines, so don't give up because others tell you that you don't look disabled.

    You MUST KEEP AT IT with the Social Security Administration (SSA). they can be very tough and if you don't have a representative, attorney or advocate to help you, then you must remember that you are responsible to handle your case THOROUGHLY. SSA is not there to prove your case for you--that is something most people don't realize.

    Many people feel SSA will handle it all--no, you are the one to handle it all to get all your records in to SSA to prove your care. They are busy and if you give them authorizations to get records from 10 doctors, they may only get records from 5 or 6 doctors and that is adverse to presenting the best case possible. You have to get ALL THE RECORDS from all your doctors, and all updated records, tests, labs, etc. and get them to SSA (keep copies of everything for yourself). It's hard and discouraging, but you must keep at it in order to win.

    Another thing is that Medical Records may not reveal everything that SSA and DDS is looking for in order to approve you. I have RFC (Residual Functional Capacity) forms for skeltal problems, fibro, mental health and a general form on here. You may want to use them with your doctors as they provide a very detailed report for SSA/DDS.

    Look over some of your records and see what your doctors are actually saying--are they saying they are fully supportive that you are unable to do ANY TYPE OF WORK OUT THERE? Or are they saying you are unable to do the job you used to do? If they are saying you are unable to do the job you used to do--that doesn't help you because SSA is looking for you to be unable to do ANY JOB OUT THERE, NOT JUST THE JOB YOU USED TO DO. So read your Medical Records and see what your doctors are actually saying about your medical ailments and about you personally, because if they feel you just need a bit of rest, that may ruin your attempt to get SSD. If any doctor believes you are faking (and some doctors don't believe patients), that may ruin your attempt to get SSD. You want all doctors agreeing you have medical ailments that make you unable to do any type of work (read the RFC forms here and see the questions SSD/DDS is trying to get answers to from your doctors. they want detailed info about you.

    If you need help, try calling your local Area Agency on Aging. Most people feel they only help seniors, but they can help adults of any age that are disabled or that have AIDS.

    Also, contact the Community Services department of your city/town and ask for a Social worker. Talk to that social worker about help you may need such as food, ultilities help, medical care, mention if you need to talk to a mental health therapist due to depression that is setting in, if you have kids be sure to mention that and any needs they may have (school, etc.). That social worker may give you an appointment to come there and fill out forms in order to get food stamps or other help--and go to any appointment and don't turn away help. This is not the time to let pride get in the way--you need help, so accept help.

    Ask the Community Services is there are any local support groups meeting in the area, such as depression support groups, disabled support groups, or groups for your specific disabilities. If there are, then ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS. I attend the groups near me. They provide many resources that I would not be aware of, plus I met a great city social worker that has even more resources at her fingertips to help.

    Also, if you haven't, try to apply for the HUD section 8 program. In our community, they only take applications one day a year, and if you are disabled you an phone in to a special number and they will mail you an application. It may take years to get housing, but once you get it, it is a major help to you moneywise. People say "oh, it takes too long to get housing on that, so I didn't apply." Well, others did apply and either have housing by now or are near getting housing by now. PLEASE DON'T OVERLOOK THIS.

    I'm sorry, but my brain is completely shutting down and I am going blank. My back is in such pain, I have to get off the computer and get to my comfort spot and try to get the pain reduced down. I know me, and I know I have probably forgottyen many things and will be back anyother time to post them. DON'T GIVE UP--we care, many many hugs.

  3. HU1981

    HU1981 New Member

    Your reply is very generous. Many thanks ! Still trying to release my claws from my palms, SOOOOOO stressed about accepting my therapists assessment I have been dancing as fast as I can for longer than anyone should have had to (what I heard) She said it's time to apply for total disability, you can't go back to being 23, you can not go back and that it's time to quit
    repeating attempts to work minimum wage jobs and afford treatment to heal myself and get my life back - I'm now 53 - even though I have been relapsing and in a vicious loop for 30 years, STILL having panic attacks about leaning on a system I have paid into for more than 30 years.. Thanks for the admonition to open my mouth and ask for help, then accept help and don't refuse anything out of pride. And, everything else you labor to do for others. Hope your place of comfort helped ease your back pain today. Hugs back at you..
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I have several appointments today, then if everything goes well, I will be back later to write to you further. What is good that people on this site understand how you feel. You're a good person and when our health goes bad and we have to give up working and change our whole life, it really impacts us and for many of us it impacts us negatively. We become like fish out of water.

    My heart breaks for every person disabled and going through the social security disability system trying to get approval. I meet these people at some of the support groups, I meet them in check out lines in stores where they just start telling me their story, and I meet them online at this board. You are a wonderful and good person and never forget that. All of the people in this disability process are wonderful and good, but they seem get trampled on in this disability process and it can run them down to the ground.

    By the way, I have a cat that I call my feline physican that assists me when my back gets so bad and with "getting into position" and then with his help, I can lower pain without meds to get pain to a tolerable level.

    My situation put me into an electric scooter and I put a small pillow and a nice cat blanket in the scooter basket and take a cat with me to ride in the scooter basket and I have a ID card that both my cats are registered service animals. i had 3 different incidents during a holiday season of men trying to rob me in store parking lots. The men were not successful as I bluffed them with a deep ruff voice and told them "back off" very loudly as I quicly wheeled my scooter around and I bluffed them into thinking I had a gun in my sweatshirt pockets. They took off. But it left me emotionally unable to leave my home. the therapist had me take a cat with me to get out of the house and into stores and amazingly, a cat with me helped to get my power back. So problems don't end when you are awarded SSD.

    Hold on tight and I'm going to talk with you more. i have two appointments and I don't know how long they will take and how I will feel afterwards. I care and we all care so PLEASE feel the strength everyone is sending out to you through the computer screen and and grab that strength and let it sink in to your heart and soul. Talk to you later. Chin up (so you are not sucker punched !!!!)

  5. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    The afternoon of my last post above, I had to go to the hosp. E.R. and was in until night. I've been home with no energy, feeling weak, in bed, and not on the computer and saw my primary care doc today. Sorry, but I'll be off the board until I'm feeling a whole lot better. Sorry.
  6. HU1981

    HU1981 New Member

    Please do take time to heal and I musr say you are smart to conserve all your energy. So often I waste my time off trying to play catch up and that leaves me in a vicious rut cycling in and out of exhaustion so fast I can't ever break out . I need to go to bed right this minute !

    I hope you do feel a whole lot better when you do rebound.

    BIG HUG to you and the cats ! HU