Tired of being an island

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Apr 11, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I can't go a week without something going wrong. GRRRR.

    My ex was supposed to meet me at the home improvement store today so that I can pick up a ton of stuff that I need to get the house in better shape. I received a letter from my insurance agency that my home was chosen to be inspected for insurance.

    If you have read my previous posts you know I have mold issues that i am suing about and that I purchased the house b/c my ex was supposed to be here and not be an idiot jerk. So now, I need to do work on the crawl space, the yard, the roof, and a bunch of other crap on my own.

    He said he would meet me yesterday. This morning, I text him to confirm the time and he says he can't. WHAT! I have already had it out with him about the things he screwed up in the house and things that he needs to do to make it right, which he agreed on.

    So, here's hoping that I can get my homework done for my grad class by tomorrow at midnight, get the house into shape in the next few days while trying to fit all the stuff I need from the hardware store that is 15 miles away into my little suv, praying I don't have a crash, and taking care of my son and carting him to and from his activities and school. Oh, and takign care of the 300+lbs of dogs and kittens that he told my son we could adopt.

    Oh, to top it off I have an ant infestation in the crawl space. the little stinkers are coming into the kitchen for the pet food.

    Oh, I have about 1.5 inches of completely gray roots all over my head. I look like a reverse skunk if I don't have a hat on. I am in my 30s! I am too young for this crap!

    I will somehow get it all done. I have to. I don't have much, but it is all I have and I will not let anything or anyone take it away. DD or no DD, I will get through this.

    HA! I checked to see if my recent grades were in while I was typing this. I have 100% for 2 weeks and a 99% for another! WAHOO! I rock!

    Can I brag a little in this rant? I think I just did.

    Well, at least I know I have myself to depend on, that is if my body will keep up.

    I would hire someone to help, but between my unemployment, child support, and left over student loans, I might have enough to get buy and still be able to pay the attorney when the next bill comes due. I won't use my credit cards b/c that being in way over my head in debt is not something I want to go back to. I worked hard to get all of my credit cards paid off, I am not about to take a step backwards in that area.

    Thank you for 'listening' to me.

  2. simonedb

    simonedb Member

    wow I can't believe you can deal with all that, but thanks you made me feel better about my house lol
    I guess in my 30s i could do more even with the dd, now not so much, just turned 50, half to work less and pace self and no kids and dog was too much and my house is a mess and I don't know where to start!
    you go girl, hang in there but try to pace where you can
    and i hear you about the hair,finally hennaed mine the other night and it takes 10 years off, some girl said she thougth I was 37 when i made reference to playing softball in the 80s she couldnt believe i was an adult back then :)
  3. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    HA! I'm glad I can make you feel better about your house. I was telling a friend about all the stuff going on and she thanked me for making her feel better about her situation, which I kinda thought was worse than mine.

    I can't help but laugh at all this crap. It is frustrating to know that I have to do all of this on my own, but I still have to shake my head and laugh.

    At least I now have the hardware store trip completed and the soccer game is over. My ex tried to talk to me at the game and I wouldn't acknowledge his presence. I was actually afraid of what was going to come out of my mouth if I did speak to him.

    Now that I have had a chance to sit down I feel the pain creeping up my back, neck, legs and arms. I have been running on adrenaline for the most part today and been keeping the pain at bay. I think it is time for a beer and an ice cream treat to help take the edge off.

    I think I might have enough left in me to get the seeds for the garden started and maybe try to mow the lawn.
  4. simonedb

    simonedb Member

    is definitely important to laugh at this sometimes
    that dude sounds like a piece of work, right now staying out of relationships cus the drama always flared me up....
    i got a bit done today too and now lying down feel the pain as well......whats hard for me is "switching gears" my brain and body have hard time being fluid from one phase to the next
  5. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    OMG Simonedb, I have a terrible time switching gears too! If I have to stop something in the middle of it, I have a horrible time going back to it and usually have to start over.

    My house gets so cluttered because of this. I have tried to make a point to clean up one area every morning while I am waiting for my tea to brew. This morning I got the kitchen table uncovered, well for the most part, but at least my son has a place to eat breakfast now.

    Glad you got some things done yesterday. I'm hurting today because of yesterday, but I have to push through because I have homework due today.

    Have a great day.
  6. simonedb

    simonedb Member

    yea I posted in the Qeeg thread thts going right now, I tried to specifically address the fm/cfs w/neurofeedback 10 years ago but now not sure that was such a great idea, had read DAn Amen's book and another book called "Symphony in the brain" and was all inspired but some recent poster have info about why its hard to make changes in brain with this.
    You sound pretty darn functional though, hopefully will just stay a mild case, a certain percentage of people definitely can function higher than others, a continuum.

    I am going to hire a friend of mine who is starting a home organizing biz, as I just never naturally could think of clever ways to be efficient in keeping home and crap all orderly and then it gets depressing and makes it worse when the clutter is all around, I think yr smart to do a little in the morning when you can......

    what are you studying in school?
  7. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I am working on a masters of science in accounting. I hope I will be able to work once I get it, but we'll see.
  8. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    My daughter and I arent living too well at the moment - wont go into details.

    I keep saying "Someday we will laugh about this" - I most certainly hope SOMEDAY comes soon!
  9. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I came home from picking my son up yesterday and found my poor great dane, who just got neutered yesterday, with a face covered in ants. They were all over his food bowl, face, and coming out from under the baseboard a few feet away in the kitchen. The poor thing! I got him cleaned up and managed to vacum the ants up before having to rush my son to soccer. When we came home from soccer there were more ants, and this time they were int he bathroom too!

    I sprayed all of the baseboards with soybean oil and the ones that were there are now dead and I haven't seen any more today.

    I am preparing to go back to the hardware store to purchase tools to remove the baseboards and a suit so I can go crawl in the crawl space.

    Truthfully I don't know how I am going to be able to do it. I managed to get through the inspection with yet another contractor this morning, but I am in so much pain now I want to puke.

    I just want to pack a suitcase, hop on a plane to Bali and never look back.

    Seriously, How much is one person supposed to handle!? I am trying not to go down the angry path, but it is getting harder and harder with each passing moment.

    Calgon take me away... (But wait, I'm allergic to the dyes and scents in calgon)

  10. wendysj

    wendysj New Member


    I heard that ants will not cross a line of salt. It's cheap and I think it works.

    You're being a good Mom. That's the most important thing to remember. Be proud of that everyday and you'll find the smile you're having trouble locating.

  11. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    The soybean oil is working so far. I spent some time in the crawl space, but couldn't find their nest, that and the pain was too much.

    Someone in another thread said I was being a good mom too. You both made me cry. I have started thinking about my son and how wonderful he is and how close we are every time I feel overwhelmed and it has been working to calm me down and give me perspective.

    I had a rough day today with pain and being exhausted, but he kept me motivated while I was active.