tired of being tired (vent)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Aug 23, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    You know, I've had this DD for so long that I've stopped complaining about the fatigue. I've stopped remembering to put it on my list of things to ask doctors for help with. It's a given, like having brown hair and blue eyes. It just IS.

    New symptoms get my attention. And sure, I look with longing out that window and want to pick some weeds. But most of the time, I forget WHY I am lying on a couch nearly every hour of the day. It's because lying down is all I can do (sparing some typing and bathroom visits). The fatigue is holding me down. And I know from experience that fighting makes it worse.

    When did this start feeling normal?

    And what about the brain fog and memory loss? I make several phone calls a day when I'm able. People ask me, "How are you?" when I call them. My brain freezes. A few seconds later they ask, "Hello? Are you there?" And I say yes, I'm here, but I can't answer memory questions. I have to REMEMBER today to rate it.

    I have realised that I have stopped mentioning the fatigue even in my prayers.
    ((self-pity)) Shannon
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Two things I hate to hear is "How are you"? I usually answer "I am still here"....."fine",,,,or "miserable as ever"......depending who I am talking to.

    I don't want to stop and think about how I feel, I need the escape from it mentally.

    Biggie is "Well....what are you going to do today"?

  3. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    Don't you just HATE when people you call ask you "How are you?" ;)

    I know what you mean about identifying parts of your illness, like your fatigue, with who you are.

    A question for you: on your walks to the computer or to the bathroom, do you ever repeat anything to yourself?

    i.e.. my mantra for walking anywhere is "Slow and go, slow and go, slow and go."

    Am I the only one who has this kind of weird ritual?


    [This Message was Edited on 08/24/2006]
  4. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    No, I don't repeat anything for walking... Oh wait, it's comming back to me. If I'm really struggling and staggering or starting to grey out at the edges when I stand, I grit my teeth and hiss with cheer: "I'm not falling. I'm standing just fine. I'm really good at walking. Just look at how well I can walk!"

    If I get a sudden pain or something alarming like that, I say to myself, "I am." To me it means: I'm okay, I'm alive, I'm safe.

    Sue, my usual answer to "How are you?", if I'm on the ball that day, is, "Same as usual." I say it with a positive inflection. I've even had people I don't know very well respond to that with, "Oh good!" :D I like "Same as usual" because it's honest yet doesn't get anybody down.
    ((xx)) Shannon