I am so sick of constantly having to explain to people why I can't go out, why I can't travel, why I can't have a life from this disease. And even when I tell them, they just don't get it. It goes in one ear and out the other and they act like I didn't explain anything at all. What part of too lightheaded to stand up or sit up for about twelve hours at a time do these people not understand? What part of too much sensory input really makes me sick, don't they get? Sights, sounds, smells, lights, I can't be around much of it for very long. Too much physical pain, too. And how about every time I go anywhere, I pay in spades for it for days in hellish pain and fevers and weakness and a million other symptoms. An old family friend started on me tonight about how I should join things, meet people. How I need friends in my life. No, really??? Like I haven't thought of that in all these years of being too sick to do anything. I would be doing those things, if I could do them. I can't. I can barely go anywhere at all now. The foodstore almost killed me today. And I will be paying for that trip for days. My cognitive symptoms are worse than ever. It's not getting better. I can't be around alot of people. The sensory input is too much. I do better when I am alone. No matter how lonely that is, I'm actually better with just my cat. I didn't choose this for my life. It sux and I have no way out of it. This is it. Obviously, if God wanted me to be out socializing, I'd be doing it. I am simply not well enough. And I am sick of having to explain it to healthy people who have no clue.