Tired of this DD and frustrated

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jakeg, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    I am so tired of this DD and am begging to think I'll never get better and be like this for ever. I've been going to PT for a couple of weeks now and it is great for about 2 to 3 hrs afterwards.

    I feel like I could do anything then reallity sets back in and it's like being hit by that same truck over and over again. I'm so tired of trying to do things and not being able to complete them or end up redoing it multiple times until it's right.

    I'm tired of this !&^@(@## pain it never goes away long enough for any releif to happen, even with the pain meds and pt. All though the pain meds do help with sleep which is about 6 hrs a night(sure beats 2 hrs).

    I use to be able to do multipe things at once and complete every one of them without having to redo them. I hate having to depend on my family to help me do things and take me some where when I want to go some where. I've lost my independence and I feel like I'm dragging my family down.

    My wifes grandmother past away on sunday and I want to help but this pain has got me in a state of helplesness. How do I help others when I can't help myself anymore.
    My mother inlaw has asked me if I would be a pawbearer and I want to be there to help her and my wife in this sad time and yet I'm at a loss.

    Maybe I'm still grieving the loss that I've suffered from this dd I don't know.

    I feel so helpless like a new born that needs to have constant care. How do I overcome this, where do I go from here, how do I get my life back?????????????????????????

    Jake
  2. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    Jake, I think we all have felt the way you do now. It's just so hard to accept the limitations; all the things you are feeling are valid. It's even harder at times of stress like in your family now.

    I agree that letting it out is important and this board is a wonderful place to do that. There are lots of caring and supportive people here. It will never be the way it once was
    but I hope you can take a step back soon and look at what you CAN do and not what you can't do.

    You are grieving more than one thing right now so go easy on yourself. Do what you can and don't feel guilty for what you find too difficult.

    Take Care
    Kathy.
  3. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Thanks to all that replied. It does elp to leave out some of the bad stuff.

    Jake
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    bUT wanted to give you a hug.

    I find that if I just continue the exercises about every two hours after PT it works better.

    This will get a little better though.

    So sorry.

    Love Anne C
  5. mrskitty73

    mrskitty73 New Member

    Jake,
    I know how you feel. I am just tired. If it weren't for my 3 kids I think I would have already given up. But keep venting it really helps especially here where there are others who know how you feel and don't thin it is all in your head. Good luck gentle hugs and 2 pain free days.
  6. tonakay

    tonakay New Member

    I don't have any answers for you, wish I did! I try hard to be upbeat and find something ... anything to be thankful for every day. Most days it helps but then there are the days that I'm right back down in that pit. The stress of a funeral can't be doing you any good right now and I think I'd say no to being a pallbearer, that would whack your muscles up for days!

    Keep on keepin on!
    Hugz,
    Tona
  7. bunnyfluff

    bunnyfluff Member

    It was a long road back, but I work full time again, etc.

    You need to work at it slowly, and get all of the advice you can from ppl here on what helped. Eliminate as much toxic food, friends, stress, etc as you can. You must learn to put yourself and your health first, which I still struggle with and go into flares.

    I take liquid suppliments, which I could not live without. I eat very well, and rest as much as I can force myself to, but my "to-do" list is long. Light exercise is the one thing that helped me the most of all. It gave me back energy and control. I could only do 5 mins at first. I used to work out hours a week, so you see, this DD changes us all a great deal.

    It's okay to grieve the past, we all do it. But I only allow myself to spend about 10 mins a day in a pity party, and the rest of the time working on getting better- a full time job for a long while. I am 90% better most days. You can get it back, but you are just in the early stages of recovery, so the hard work is still to come. It took me 2 years before I could work part time, so don't think that there is going to be some magic that will happen by taking some medication. It is a combination of medication, suppliments, and exercise that will get you back.

    Get some good books, and do some more research, follow the advice of some of the others here. You can and will get better!!
  8. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Thanks again to all who have replied. Exersize is very difficult if not next to imposible right now the pain is so bad. My PT consists of ultrasound, electrical muscle stimulation and heat packs. It does feel really good for a while but without fail it returns to rear its ugly head again. I do go to PT 3 times a week.

    I do try and stay upbeat about every thing and have been told that by family, friends and even my physcologist. It just seems there is no end to this right now. I have tried so many meds that it's not funny anymore as a lot of people here have also. The only things that bring relieve so far are the pain meds(vicodin/oxycodone).

    If I miss 1 dose of either I'm in so much pain until I see that I forgot to take one or the other. I've learned to keep a slip of paper with my meds to remind me of when I took my last dose so I don't double dose which has happened already.

    I do try to do things around the house to help out my wife when I can but its just so frustrating when I see what little I am able to accomplish in a days time. Tried cooking dinner once and found that its better to wait for my wife or one of my duaghters so I don't burn down the house. I forgot that I started dinner and fell asleep, woke up to a house full of smoke(smoke detector woke me up).

    The one thing I found that I can do are the dishes, It helps to releive the pain in my wrists and fingers, but the standing doesn't help much for the back and legs.

    Jake
    [This Message was Edited on 02/23/2006]
  9. bunnyfluff

    bunnyfluff Member

    I was the same way. I couldn't lift a pot off the stove, I would forget I put stuff on to boil (sometimes still do, I learned to use the timer more to remind me I had stuff on the stove), words don't come out right....it's horrible!!!!

    It may be another year before you can really start to exercise at all and get benefit from it, maybe a little stretching is all you can do now, maybe not even that. I know it's hard, and frustrating. It seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

    I did find some things that were better suited to me, like maybe matching socks- LOL. Stressing yourself out about it will only make it worse. It is what it is, and your body is now in control of you, not the other way around, and that's the hardest part. I still have a really hard time with that 5 years later. It does help to talk about here with ppl who understand how this loss feels.

    You will never be the same as before- you have to accept that, but you can and will get back a good quality of life, you just have to give yourself more time to figure it all out. For me, meds would work for awhile and then stop, so I would have to switch, I live on painkillers, but it's okay- I have most of my life back. I even skiied last winter when we went to Colorado for Christmas!

    I think you are like me, and YOU expect more from you. That's what you have to get past to get better.
  10. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I hear ya, I hear ya!

    It is a very very frustrating disease. Extremely frustrating!

    Sometimes I think I fight against it too much, and if I would just go with it, I would feel better.

    I particular start to feel down when the weather starts to get nice and I want to do so many things, and I can't

    Hang in there - together we will find a cure!