'Tis the season to be totally stressed out and flare up (Vent)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by romey, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. romey

    romey New Member

    I just really need to get this out here where I know there are people who understand how totally frustrating this Fm pain can be especially at the holidays when everybody is looking at you to forget about your 'probelm' be happy cause it's a happy time.
    Every Christmas I flare up and its so soul destroying cause I feel do it to myself but the pain is very real and I do not control it.
    I think my flare ups at this time of year came about when I thought to myself once 'would'nt it be terrible if I had a bad spell at christmas?' then I stressed out about that happening so much that my neck tensed up and now that same cycle seems to happen every year.
    This year it feels worse though because I remember thinking a week a ago ' I can NOT have a Christmas as painful as the others have been' and I've done it again! because of my worry, again!
    I just wanna kick myself! mind you I have already done that in a round about sort of way.
    I just feel really, really alone now.
    My family considers my obsessiveness to be the main culprit for all my bad spells. And they know all about my christmas cycle so even though they don't say it I can see "I told you so" written all over their faces each year.
    I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare at the moment because I've decided not to tell anyone that I'm having a bad spell now.
    I don't mean to sound like a total martyr but I'm doing it because I feel like such a burden when I watch them trying to take my pain into consideration when they are just trying to enjoy themselves.
    It feels like the holiday has become all about me!
    My sis even said yesterday " Its your first Christmas without pain Romey we have to celebrate!"
    it just made make me feel so guilty and depressed and lonely.
    I'm sorry for going on and on and sounding so negetive I just needed to let it all out.

  2. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hi Romey, It happens to me too - the more I worry about whether or not I'll be able to manage Christmas, the greater I flare. Christmas stress will do that to me.

    I can appreciate your decision to keep your pain to yourself but for my own self, I don't do that anymore. When people say 'how are you' I tell them, even though they are hoping for the stock answer 'I'm fine.'

    The social demands at Christmas are too much for me, so by letting people know how I truly feel, it gives me the opportunity to leave the Christmas gatherings early or not be judged too harshly if I don't help with the kitchen clean-ups.

    Your family does not sound completely supportive or understanding about the effect that stress can have on someone with fibromyalgia. Surely this adds to your stress and helps to bring about your feelings of guilt, depression and aloneness. My heart goes out to you.

    I wish I could say something to help you through this difficult time, but I don't really know what to say. My only advice would be this:

    If you're able, please stay connected (to the folks here) over the holidays and vent all you need to. You're not alone.

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  3. romey

    romey New Member

    Thanks so much for the advice and support Anne Theresa,
    and thanks for listening it helps alot.
    I am determined to have a happy Christmas this year and I will stay in touch here to help me through it.


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