To all..................

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by doxygirl, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    First of all...... I want to say that I appreciate being able to come to this "family" of friends and people who care about me.... accept me..... believe in me.....and do NOT judge me...........There are NOT a lot of places those of us with dd are able to safely fall like "HERE"!

    I come here because I feel "SAFE" here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I feel understood, and accepted.......

    flaws and all. I love that Iam not judged or questioned....

    I come here because I care about others and want to support and love them back............and when I feel like I have helped another here I feel GOOD and my heart smiles!THAT is what a SUPPORT board is all about isn't it?

    SUPPORT !!!

    ................recently there have been some things written and posted that are in my opinion some of the most UNsupportive and hurtful things ever.............this is the lAST thing any of us with DD needs to hear or deal with! our problems, pains, and just daily life are a struggle enough................................AND......

    As a person who cares so deeply I have to say that Iam concerned about people here who may have been effected and even distraught over some of these comments and posts..............especially some of the sicker family members!

    I for one want those of you who may have been affected to know that you are loved and cared about, just the way you are!

    "I KNOW I KNOW Iam not responsible for the unkind and hurtful words of others..........but my heart has been so heavy with worry and concern.............hoping and praying that those of you affected are ok!........I needed to get this out!

    I wanted to make this "special" post to ANY of you who have been hurt or offended let you know I care and pray that you and your hearts are ok!!

    Love, hugs, and concern

    [This Message was Edited on 01/15/2006]
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i try to be supportive or use i feels stuff...

    i do not like to get into peoples religions in life, too each their own...

    if i don't think i can be supportive or give some positive influence then i choose to not post....

    well just taking notice of this post....

  3. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Doxy, I don't know if it is me that you are trying to reach on here about this or not, but I have to say , I too come here for support and I may have some things I talk about or subjects that I post that people are offended by, but I never ever start a post thinking it is the wrong thing to post and maybe if I post this it will start trouble. I too come here for support and understanding

    I also try very hard to give open honest answers to people that cry out for help and I try to do this with my own life experience. I never feel I have the answers or that I know all, I just try to help, that is always my intention.

    I don't think I have ever said unkind or hateful things and if someone thinks I have, they have misunderstood what I have written,

    I again, do not know what posts you may be speaking of, but if it is any of mine I just wanted you to know, I think I have a big heart, that is about all I can say about my self any more, I would do anything for anyone, I pray for all those suffering always, I do post about religion at times becuase I feel so strong about God and I guess I have seen other postings on here about religion and thought it was ok, I will probably not post again about that though, especially if others are offended, I don't want them to be.

    I do myself, try not to look at or answer posts that offend me, I feel that is best for me. I don't think people on here mean to be mean or hurtful, so I just pass by the post. I think that most people that do not agree with posts I make do the same

    [This Message was Edited on 01/15/2006]
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i don't thin it was directed at you, it is just an awareness for everyone....i recall this week someone postd something to the lady was getting basically sexually harrased by her husband in your opinion...i recall looking back and she had replied to who ever posted saying i am sick she was offended....i don't know if this is in particular it...

    but to me best advice you can someone is to direct them to a dr of soe form....medical or mental dr's or therapy...the can choose who the trust....

    i think if people repond w/i feel's and not be critical...when it comes to situations life of abuses, we all can not really no what we would do if we were in the place....we think we do...but trust me it is so hard to get the strength to go seek professiona help....

    but anyway we can only give advice as to what we would do and help those to gain some self esteem to do it...

  5. laura81655

    laura81655 New Member

    Thanky ou for taking the time to express what many of us feel when we want help or need support from this board. You have such a great way of expressing your feelings. I do appreciate it**************************

  6. Kacjac

    Kacjac New Member

    Thanks, Doxy honey for you heartfelt words!
    I'm sure alot of us feel the same way you do!
    Some are not being kind to others, and its all about support. This is why we're here folks!
    So I'm choosing to stay with the supporters, and ignore the rest!
    Gentle hugz to all~Karen
  7. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    to disagree without being offensive. I try always to say this when a debate is going and I can see it is getting too personal. There is also a way to express concern without treading all over someone. We have to all think of ways we can do that, as otherwise, we'll all be scared to suggest something or disagree. Motto: Do as you would be done by - how would I feel if someone said that in this way to me? How could I say this without sounding judgemental? Maybe we should ask those two questions prior to posting? Am I saying this to help or just to add to bad feeling? Am I saying this because I think I am superior? Am I saying this because I truly care? This is the list I try(and I do say TRY) to go through before I post anything, so thank you for bringing this up. I just posted a reply to a Smurf thread that had gotten way out of line really, asking that we all look to the Better Angels of our Natures. I find that people in pain often have a true love of others, one sometimes has to suffer to learn to truly care I guess. Thanks for the post.

    Much Love Cromwell
  8. darude

    darude New Member

    What a wonderful caring post!!!! Thankyou for writing this and after all WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT!!! this is a special place and hope it stays that way. With people like you I'm sure it will. God bless

    Annie the Londoner

  9. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Hey Doxy! Thank you for always caring and being so sweet. I too hope that none were affected too negatively or made to feel terrible. This is a wonderful place for support and I hope that everyone who comes here feels that support and caring.

  10. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Doxy thanks for your response, I did not think you were pointing fingers, I have just been uptight with some respones I had gotten to my posts and some had been deleted and I just wanted to let all know I am not trying to be hurtful in anyway,

    I am glad I have not offended you, you seem like a very warm person with a big heart, someone that would be a good friend to all

  11. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Right on girlfriend.. Well said!
  12. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    I love how you feel and that is very much how I feel. When I actually stated responding on this board several weeks ago, I was suicidal. There was no support group. My family does not understand ,I had lost my career, my long term disability was going to be terminated, and the person that was helping me the most (my Mom) breast cancer reoccurred. It has spread to her bones and she is having treatments. My family seems to be falling apart and now my husband is having strokes which he just blamed on me because of the pressure of my illness. I was reading a thread and with my brain fog I can't remember if it was you that responded to the person that was discussing they were tired of people on the board being "whiners"or someone else.I do remember who made the post on the thread. The thread was started by Mikie but she was not at fault and the original intent was not meant to be hurtful to anyone. It devastated me that that those words appeared on this board. The reply back was even more disturbing when they were attempting to justify (not apologize) for their original post. I started to jump in on that post but it made me physically ill. She made a nice list of her illness which were substantial but I& many more could throw down quite a list also. Nearly every body part of my body that can be removed without causing death is gone and they taken pieces of the ones that have to stay. Then I could start with the CFS/FM,COPD and the lung lesions. It was nice that she got over her pity party and I think that most of us on this board has done the best we have known to do with conditions we do not understand BUT there are times when it is good to WHINE, ask advice, cry,laugh, learn & share what we know.Until that night I had read & learned & added my experiences. After reading some of the post of that thread,I didn't sleep very well and have rarely been back on the board. This "safe place" was suddenly no longer safe. It reminded me of some of the doctor's we have all seen at some time since we've been sick. It's my opinion that if one feels the way those words were posted, they need to find a new place to be since they no longer have a place here for hurtful and cruel opinions. The damage that was done by that post(if it is the one that I am referring too)scares me for those that now feel they can't express their feelings and needs for having fear of being called a "whiner". It takes a lot of guts to tell others your short comings and fears, and to be put down for the very reason this message board is here is beyond common sense.

    So, I do appreciate this thread and your kindness. This needed to be said and I only hope that the people that need to know the damage they have caused will learn about compassion & sensitivity and how words can damage.
  13. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    don't give up on the board because of a few bad apples.. there are lots here that are just wonderful.. sounds to me like you have a very full plate and need some support..
    hang tough.. we're here for you.
    love, dona
  14. darude

    darude New Member

    The "whiner" post upset a lot of people on here. Thats that last thing we need to hear. I can't remember who posted it but I agreed with your post. Anyway there are a lot of great people on this board and would never think of calling any one of us WHINERS.
    Annie the Londoner
  15. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    then my heart is smiling, I truly with all my heart care about my family and friends and NO one should ever have to fear coming here and sharing whatever they need to for support!

    Love and hugs
    PS WELCOME I SWEETIE!!!! We love you! XO:)[This Message was Edited on 01/17/2006]
  16. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    I Sweetie, you are the very reason that posts like that should be deleted as soon as possible. I can't stand the thought that a post on this wonderful board would upset someone that much and make them not want to post anymore. That is not what this place is about. This is our safe place. I hope you are doing better now. Please don't ever let anything like that push you away again. The majority of this board is never like that. I do mean the majority. It is very rare. Welcome to you since you are fairly new. Thank you for sharing.
  17. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    Thanks to all that responded to me when I posted on this thread earlier and thanks to Doxy for starting this thread.

    I want to bump this thread because I continue to see posts that cause hurt. This needs to be a safe and comfortable place.

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