To annee & pixie.....

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by Milo83, Mar 1, 2002.

  1. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Hi..Have a little bit of time, so I thought I would write now..Today was a real bad day for my Mom's mind..When I walked in and said Hi, she said to the nurse's aide, "I'd like you to meet my sister, Dorothy"..She does have a sister by that name, but seldom sees her..She was back about 25yrs ago when her parents passed away..She kept asking me if I took care of the funeral arrangements..I tried to tell her that they have been gone for about 25yrs..Today was really a tough one to handle..Somedays when you correct her (which I try not to do too often, I was told by Dr. that I should just tell her everything will be alright, or try to change the subject);well today that didn't work at all..There I sat, when all of a sudden I realized that she still thought I was her sister..She just had someone call me & when I answered she once again called me Dorothy..She kept asking me if I had all the arrangements made for the funeral, one time it's her mother, the next time, it's her father..This was really the first time that she thought I was someone else..God, what a feeling for me..I know this happens, but when it happens for the first time, it really gets to you..
    I have some health issues of my own, which make this really tough on me..Believe me, I'm not complaining, cause I would do anything for my Mom & I love her dearly..But I can't keep running day in and day out..I need a break, but right now with her being worse than usual, I just feel I have to be there everyday..I was doing that months ago, until I almost had a "total breakdown", physically & mentally, and my docs all said I had to stop,if I wanted to keep my own health..And I did listen, I had cut my visits to about 3 or 4xweekly..When I don't go, I would always call atleast 2xdaily, but now she is at the point where she really doesn't know what to do with the phone (how to hold it properly and have the mouthpiece by her mouth, etc.)
    In case I never mentioned this, I'm 48 & married, with a soon to be 16yr old son..I must say, if it wouldn't be for my husband, I would never have made it this far..He has been wonderful through this whole thing..He is always there (if at all possible) for me..In the late spring, summer, & fall he works up to 12hrs a day..In the winter time, he gets layed off from his job - he does black topping & paving..He says if it was his mother he would do the same, so I should just go spend time with her, as long as I don't wear myself down too much..He is willing to cook, clean or whatever if I'm too mentally exhausted after my visits, which often happens..
    I try to put my Mom's mind at ease, saying things like they take very good care of you here and stuff, but I still don't think she really knows where she is at times..Sometimes I just don't know what to answer her, I don't want to upset her more..
    Do your mother's seem to get them selves upset easily over things..My mom has always had anxiety/depression problems and also trouble with her blood pressure, I'm always afraid, she is going to work herself up, & raise her blood pressure to the point of having a stroke..You mentioned about my Mom having a "mini stroke" the other day, yes that has crossed everyone's mind, but the only way to tell would have been to have her transported to the hospital for a brain scan, and the damage would have been done already..When she was in the hospital for her sugeries, she had atleast 4 episodes when she became unresponsive and they rushed her for brain scans and they showed nothing..I live in eastern PA, in the United States..I do not work outside of the home..
    I have a half-brother, same mother, different fathers that is 9yrs older than me, in fact he lives 2 doors away from me..He only goes to see my Mom once a week if that..Everyone tells me men are different when it comes to these kinds of situations..Don't know if I ever mentioned, my mother is also considered "legally blind" due to macular degeneration..She can still see a little when she wants to..She will tell you she can't see anything on her table in front of her, but if you put a piece of chocolate candy down, she knows right where to pick it up at..LOL..
    I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time, but once I start, I just keep going and going..I want to thank the both of you, for responding to my postings..I look forward to stuff like that..The computer is one thing that seems to take my mind off of things..Well I will let you go for now..Looking forward to hearing from the both of you again..Take Care...Donna...