To BHOPEFUL

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Callum, Sep 5, 2006.

  1. Callum

    Callum New Member

    Ben,

    I'm gay in Chicago, too, and happily partnered for six years. I met my partner six years into my illness (I have cfs), and I found that the secret was knowing my limitations so well that he never had to guess. It helps that he has struggled in the past with rheumatoid arthritis, and so understood the crazy nature of auto-immune disorders.

    Chicago is a big place, with lots of gay men - I'm sure you can find someone compatible who will accept the limitations your disease places on you.

    Good luck!

    Callum
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Ben

    There you have some words of encouragment from Callum.

    I met Gordon after we had worked in the same building for 3 years. The population of the building was 3,000; 3 x the population of the village I grew up in.

    We actually met at a gay bridge club and then were surprised to find we worked in the same building.

    I read a letter to some women's magazine decades ago. Some woman was saying her husband was small and rather frail. She liked that. She didn't want a he-man. She wanted someone to take care of that.

    Gordon is like that too. He like to take care of me and be in charge, etc.

    The old advice about joining groups is true. That's pretty much where people meet. You might see if you can find a support group or a 12 step group like Emotions Anonymous. Might get a double benefit. The group itself and some man in it.

    Best regards.
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    You have mentioned that before and I have wondered what it is.

    Please share on this.

    To Callum:

    Also maybe a Y or other swim class for folks with arthritis and other such problems?

    Or like Rockgor.....a card club....or a community card club,

    Blessings........Susan
  4. Callum

    Callum New Member

    Susan & Rock have good suggestions!

    I should have mentioned that I met my partner through an internet service. This allowed me to look for someone who wasn't searching for "hiking", "running", "cycling", "tennis" as common interests.

    I put in such words as "theatre", "history", "reading", and "spirituality", and came up with the person who, by chance, was my soulmate.

    I don't know how spiritual you are, but another suggestion is - church! Not all places of worship are unwelcoming - in Chicago, Broadway United Methodist, the Unity Church on Thome, the Presbyterian Church on B'dway and Addison are all open with large attendance from the glbt community. There's even a gay synagogue, although I'm not sure of the name.

    Callum
    [This Message was Edited on 09/06/2006]
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Yes, I've mentioned Emotions Anonymous several times and written about, but where those posts are I couldn't say.

    Alcholics Anonymous started during the depression and created the 12 steps to sobriety. Emotions Anonymous started in l971 and is for people w/ emotional problems.

    There are lots of similar 12 step programs w/ names like Narcotics Anonymous, Smokers Anonymous, etc.

    The meetings are generally held in churches or public buildings. Meetings are generally 10 to 20 people who get to know each other and become friends. There are no dues or fees, but there is a collection to pay expenses like coffee, pamphlets, sometimes rent.

    No professionals are present. Members take turns being the leader. There are rules such as Talk a maximum of 5 minutes, no interrupting, no giving of advice unless asked for, etc.

    Sometimes the group goes out for a meal or drinks afterwards. Sometimes there are conventions, big meetings of several groups, pot-luck dinners, etc.

    Funny you should ask me to share, Susan, since people usually end their talk by saying, "Thanks for letting me share."

    Re: churches there are several gay churches in the Los Angeles area (The MCC Church) as well as traditional churches that are gay-friendly.

    There is even a Catholic gay group which is pretty amazing when you consider the official position of the church.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/06/2006]