To diggity

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by totteacher, Sep 21, 2002.

  1. totteacher

    totteacher New Member

    Hi diggity

    I read a post of yours on another thread and I wasn't sure if you would go back there and read anymore so I wanted to write this post for you.

    I am so sorry you are going through such a horrendous time. I can sort of imagine what its like as there was a time in my family that my husband and I were unemployed and I know how tight money was and what a stress that was. However, we didn't have to deal with major illiness or surgery at that time. Although you would like to change how you are dealing with your illiness, you are doing the best that you can at this time and you should give yourself credit for that. I hope that your medications are at least keeping your nose above the water, so to speak.

    You probably have already thought of this, but are there any community resources available to you--at least to help with food so that would help stretch your money for the bills? Many churches have food pantries and also are willing to help people with bills such as gas, electric, water. Churches and other community places help with clothes too, and with 3 children (that's what I have too) I know that can add up. Anyway, that is what helped me and my family get through the hard times we had. Do you have any relatives that would be willing to help a bit?


    I truly hope that I have not offended you but I just wanted you to know that maybe there are a few other options and I hope and pray that things will turn around for you. You sounded so in despair that it touched my heart.

    I don't get to come on here very often and read or post but if you write an answer I will try to get to it soon.

    Take care,
    totteacher

  2. totteacher

    totteacher New Member

    Hi diggity

    I read a post of yours on another thread and I wasn't sure if you would go back there and read anymore so I wanted to write this post for you.

    I am so sorry you are going through such a horrendous time. I can sort of imagine what its like as there was a time in my family that my husband and I were unemployed and I know how tight money was and what a stress that was. However, we didn't have to deal with major illiness or surgery at that time. Although you would like to change how you are dealing with your illiness, you are doing the best that you can at this time and you should give yourself credit for that. I hope that your medications are at least keeping your nose above the water, so to speak.

    You probably have already thought of this, but are there any community resources available to you--at least to help with food so that would help stretch your money for the bills? Many churches have food pantries and also are willing to help people with bills such as gas, electric, water. Churches and other community places help with clothes too, and with 3 children (that's what I have too) I know that can add up. Anyway, that is what helped me and my family get through the hard times we had. Do you have any relatives that would be willing to help a bit?


    I truly hope that I have not offended you but I just wanted you to know that maybe there are a few other options and I hope and pray that things will turn around for you. You sounded so in despair that it touched my heart.

    I don't get to come on here very often and read or post but if you write an answer I will try to get to it soon.

    Take care,
    totteacher

  3. diggity

    diggity New Member

    I am not offended in the least bit, as a matter of fact, I very much appreciate your taking the time to think of me and my family. We have struggled mightily for about 2 years now. It began with hysterectomy surgery for me that left me unable to work for a while. When I was finally recovered from it this fibro monster started to take its toll. I haven't worked since. Two of my daughters sustained broken ankles within a year of each other, and my son has injured his ankle playing basketball. We presently have 4 family members in physical therapy. Our van died, as did our washing machine, the roof began to let water through, and the kitchen plumbing stopped all water from passing. My husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and along with his high blood pressure and diabetes it was determined that he would have to have part of the kidney removed. He has now been out of work for about 2 months. This is a partial list of our own little black cloud that keeps following us around. If it didn't hurt so bad, it would certainly be funny. We have laughed, we have cryed, we have prayed, and tried to figure out what God is trying to tell us with all of this. Throughout all of it though, we have survived. Sometimes an overwhelming wave of despair overtakes me, and I don't know where to turn or what to do. I seem to be experiencing one of those times right now. I am very thankful to have found this board and all of the wonderful people here before the current flood of emotions hit.

    As to your questions; we do have family that has been wonderful during all of this. Actually they have saved us in many instances. It of course isn't as it would be if we were both, or even one of us, were working; but we have been able to keep our utilities on and groceries in the house. I am so very grateful to them, but at the same time I struggle with accepting help. I am a person who would NEVER ask for help unless my children were in need and I had no other choice. Through this I have learned to accept help from others, even though it is one of the most humiliating things I have ever had to do. Independence is a very precious possesion, and very difficult to have to give up. Maybe that is the lesson God has for me in all of this.

    Please don't feel badly about asking your questions, although I have a hard time in asking for compassion,I certainly do love it when it is offered. LOL (My sisters have always told me that I'm a hard person to get close to.) They're right of course, I've always been very shy and self sufficient and never let anyone get too close. Maybe this fibro and cfs is a gift in disguise. I always wished to be able to open up to people and make friends, just could never bring myself to do so. Actually I just really didn't know how, but I'm learning that it's very nice to have people care about me and to have someone to talk to.

    You seem to be a very perceptive person. Despair is a good description of how I've been feeling for the past few days. Pain and financial difficulties make extremely bad partners. I do believe that we will eventually begin to recover from this money crunch that we are in, but I'm having a hard time accepting that I won't recover from this diagnosis of the fibro dragon. Realizing that has created a sense of loss and grief that I can't seem to come to terms with. I don't want to just give up but I can feel myself drifting in that direction and I'm not sure how to pull myself back up.
  4. totteacher

    totteacher New Member

    for answering my post. Wow!! you are going through what I call "when it rains, it pours" time. I am so glad that you have reached out: re-all I can do is sit and cry. I have found that when you are feeling so down, that so many here will reach back and try to encourage you.

    About God--Don't trust you feelings. The Bible gives so many great promises. That is what is true--not feelings. If you need to, write some down that mean alot to you and read them and claim them when you feel down. I think that God sees your pain and is filled with compassion for you and your family. It won't rain always--even Noah's flood eventually disappeared. Of course we will always have some problem or other to deal with--such is life--but God will go through that with us.

    I am glad that you are begining to open up to others. I know that if you have been hurt at some point that opening up is hard. But when you do open up to others I think the blessings far out weigh the hurts. At least, so far in my life that has been the case.

    Grieving--You are going through that because there have been so many losses in your life. Jobs, health, finances, energy, just to mention a few. Grieving is a normal part of life. It is much better to go through it than to stifle it or ignore it. It is necessary to go through all the stages to be mentally healthy.

    Taking charge-- I know it takes some time to come to accept that, ok, I have to deal with this dd. When you come to that point, than you can take charge by learning and informing yourself as much as possible about your illness and what is available for helping it. When I made the decision to go to "war" with this illness it was very energizing!! I felt like, hey, there ARE some things I can do. I don't have to sit and wail, I can help myself. There is so much info on this web site and others, that it can be overwhelming! So, (unfortunately for impatient me!) it will take time to learn and make changes. When you do find something to try talk with your doctor and only try one new thing at a time. For me, so far, adding more vitamins and exercising have helped I'm not sure what I'll try next--still researching and thinking!

    Take care, you and your family will be in my prayers
    "talk" to you later.
    totteacher