To each of you who answered my desperate post {husband doesn't be

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by wen, Dec 19, 2002.

  1. wen

    wen New Member

    Thank you so much. i've been very sick and depressed. I apologize for not responding untill now. I was overjoyed and overwhelmed with your replies it took me days to get my computer on and read them. I'm not very good at these boards and posting just reading I want to be more involved. Don't know what I would do without you. I could not made it through another day had I not got your responses. This is the first time I have been able to type this much Dr. put me on new med today oxycontin.

    It's not like my husband is deaf,dumb and blind, he's selfish. This last year has been a nightmare. Dr. told me today If he's not listening and will not help he does not care, I believe it. If things do not change after counseling extensive comunicating I have to move on. Otherwise I know I can't go on like it has been.

    I'm a very verbal comunicator. My husband cares about what he's doing and what he can get me to do for him or listen to him. I have read him hundreds of pages of cfs/fm Ive taken him to appts none has sunk in. He says i need to go on the treadmill blow it out follow what phisical thearapy wants me to do, it did't work for me I went there they want me to pull on these rubberband things to do stretching exercises which cause pain and muscles spasms. The good things that helped were when they stretched my neck put heat on me manipulated softly. There are so many things to try with dd as we all know. It's not one thing or two.
    The things he wants me to do are out there he thinks if i drink this aloe vera silver crap drink with every vitamin known to man in it I will magically be well. Another guinnea pig idea I'm serious he thinks I will be cured... because it says so. So who's the one in denial???? I may not fully comprehend my limitations at the present, which makes it extra important the one proven thing that can help anyone in a ralationship is the limitations each person has. This marriage is definatly onesided. It took me 2yrs to accept I have this crap. Iv'e learned from some of your replies I have to be the one who says "no" otherwise he will take me down down down. I'm not afraid anymore,I hope this post makes sense.

    love you all
    wendy
    [This Message was Edited on 12/19/2002]
  2. karen2002

    karen2002 New Member

    I am glad to hear the oxy is making a difference in your pain. Severe unrelenting pain, on top of a stressful situation is unimaginable.
    Sounds like you are trying all that you can do to improve this--with the counseling. There are some in this world who are not capable of compassion--it's sad but true. You will find out with the help of your therapist whether healing can take place, here.
    Just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers. Try not to stress---it just adds to the symptoms of these disorders.
    Best wishes,
    Karen
  3. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. You said you went for physical therapy. The first time I went they gave me those stupid bands too. You know what happened? I used them and one day it snapped!!!! I went to 3 physical therapists before I found one who really helped me. If you are up to it, try another one. They're not all the same. The one who helped me gave me stretching exercises to do at home. I haven't had to go back to her since then. When I'm in a flare I use her exercises. She explained everything to me and didn't do anything that made me feel bad. I hope this helps you!

    Annette2
  4. wen

    wen New Member

    It can mean many things besides health. Marriage-relationships and issues. Yes 4hrs pain relief. I'm sad that I have to earthquake my husband to do what is right. I will go to the dead end. I was watching DR. Phil he was very to the point If ones not willing it wont work be honest with yourself. Thank you for sweet caring kindness.

    thanx karen

    wendy
  5. dobegood

    dobegood New Member

    From what I can read between the lines, you are a strong woman wen! I honour you for that, my dear.

    Too true. It seems you have tried everything and it seems you are beginning to focus on yourself now!

    I believe I have everyone's support when I say that NO woman deserves better, than the woman who has tried for years to make her spouse understand.

    The others are right; some people simply can't understand. You are entitled to all the best and now it is time to be selfish! Focus on yourself, your needs and know we are all thinking of you!