to Jen F

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by franners, Jun 26, 2003.

  1. franners

    franners New Member

    Do you have a support group near by? Also you can call like a community action service to see if there is help, or your local fire department. I volunteered for two years on a fire dept and we helped people all the time. I am sure they will be more than happy to help.
    Are you on anything for depression? I can't remember if it was in your post or not, but you might not feel you are but it sounds like it. This wellbutrin that I am on now is suppose to be good for CFS/FM to give us energy.
    Last September I was told I was dying of Non Hodgkin Lymphoma. Then in December I was told I was dying from complications of Systemic Lupus. Then in March I was told No, I have MS. Oh, I forgot that I was told the rash on my leg was skin cancer in December too. As I kept informing friends, family and coworkers how I felt and what the doctors said, I overheard them (bosses and a floor nurse which was a friend)laughing and saying I was a hypochondriac now and then my administrater took me in his office and asked me if I was ever raped. People are narcissistic in nature (my beliefs) to an extent. Some have a pollyanna personality that there is nothing ever wrong in the world. It is easier for people to ignore or judge people like us. We can not change their ignorance if they chose not to let change happen in their lives. These are the people who will not handle changes that will eventually happen later in their life. My mom as well has not spoken much to me for the past six months. When I was working two jobs I gave her money to help out. I can't work now and this is why I am sure she doesn't call.
    But please do call your local fire department and explain your situation to them and just ask them if they know of any organizations that could help you with your AC, I bet they come that day.
    Best Wishes and prayers your way..............
  2. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    for your kind thoughts and suggestions.

    I am so sorry for all your physical and emotional suffering. so, do you have non-hodgkins lymphoma? and/or lupus? gosh those must have been some appointments when you were told...how did you feel/cope??

    Shame on your bossess and coworkers. Geez, I used to think that if I had cancer it would be different. That because I had this invisible illness with the name CFS I didn't get any credibility or respect. But, I am coming to see now that the illness doesn't nec make a difference. Perhaps I wouldn't get much more help from family if it was cancer. It's easier for them to ignore an illness that md's like to slough off, but I am starting to believe that a lot of people in my life just can't handle me being sick, no matter what it's called or involves. Yes, I am sure they think of me as a hypochondriac, including my GP [maybe a little less now that my xray results came in for my neck].

    But, shame on your coworkers. just wait a few years til they get health problems. May they remember you then.

    Your administrator....pfff....oh brother...

    I can relate. While I was working and went to my boss and said I needed time off to rest, I wasn't well and wasn't sleeping, she told me I could have 1 hr per week to see a psychiatrist. I think she thought she was being helpful, and i also think it made her feel superior. She also inserted a comment on how she had never been sick a day in her life [although strangely she had been off work a day or two due to a cold - maybe first time] and that she was exhausted too, she was fully pregnant and not getting much sleep. She said that as she sipped her diet coke [diet so she wouldn't get caffeine she said - ahem, wanted to correct her but didn't] just before going out for her smoke.

    Geez, people who have strong constitutions who are hardly ever sick sometimes see it as a personal failing/weakness when others have health problems.

    I am so sorry that your Mom isn't more supportive emotionally as well. Gee, I would never have dreamed these things would happen.

    I AM part of a CFS support group, but I don't make meetings much these days and I'm not as close to the members of this group as I was to my previous group.

    In my previous support group, many others were dealing with the problems/constraints of being very low income and many were very low functioning.

    In secret, I have affectionately called my new support group [old one discontinued] the Yuppie group, as a number have more financial income or help and are more functional than me. Now there are a couple of new members on social assistance, but I don't know them that well.

    My friend who was supposed to help me this week, used to belong to my support group. He has CFS but has recovered to some extent and is able to work part time and has strength to lift.

    One of my friends from my previous support group has a fellow who does odd jobs and maybe I will try to contact him. Problem tho is that he lives on complete other side of town and has no car, only bicycle and I would have to pay him. I even feel uncomfortable about him seeing my place, but he has been here once 2 years ago when it wasn't this bad to fix something else.

    I may first try asking a man who lives in the basement. I don't know if he can do any heavy lifting and I don't like him seeing my place either, but perhaps he will help. I can't deal with him when I am really feeling sick though - he's a high maintenance kind of man who needs to talk a lot and sometimes doesn't listen. I could tell him I have a back and neck problem and can't lift anything, and I could tell him that I feel really sick and need to lie down, but chances are he won't hear me. I have even had to walk away from him in the past while he is still talking to me outside because he won't listen and wants to talk - but I have to get going for one reason or another. he can be very nice, but is an alcoholic and obviously has given up on life to some extent. He lives in a small area in the unfinished basement and only works occasionally. I think he is about 55.

    If that fails and my father won't come down - don't know if I want him around anyways - I may try calling a local seniors agency. They supposedly have handymen for a decent rate to help with certain jobs.

    I am really loathe to call the fire department, but thanks for the suggestion. I am so uncomfortable with my apt being such a mess. I have too many things and I need to sort through them and get rid of what I can, sell what i can, but I don't have the energy to do that. Plus, I feel like I need a male friend around if I want to advertise any items for sale. It is not safe for me to post my phone number and have strangers in my apt if I am on my own, esp in my weakened condition and esp in my area of town. There have been at least 2 sexual assaults recently in my area, one on my street a few blocks away plus murders in my area. I am a petite, at least somewhat attractive woman -- though I'm not sure how much that matters to a predator. I have had to learn to be very cautious.

    I was on Celexa but have transitioned to SJW for depression, and help with energy.

    Thanks for thinking of me Franners. I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with so many physical challenges also, and possibly fatal illness. That's horrific. Do you know now what your prognosis is?

    Jen F
  3. yellowbird

    yellowbird New Member

    I feel for you, I hate to feel very dependant , especially if it's on people who are unreliable.
    The person I am most dependant on is my father. I get disability-welfare and my father helps me out tremendously financially (don't tell welfare!). Trouble is he is 72 years old and while he plans to continue working for as long as he can, he won't be able to help me out forever. My mother, who is younger than he is, has told me that when he can no longer help me, she doesn't want to pick up any of the slack, so to speak. I am hoping that when push comes to shove she will change her mind as I don't see how I can survive on $788 dollars a month (canadian!). It's one thing to be poor if you can do your own chores, root around thrift-shops for clothes, walk for transportation, etc. but there is so much I cannot do. I depend on my not-cheap cleaning-helper lady for a lot of things, including company, without which I would go crazy.
    I hope your neighbour can help you out, I too have a strange chatty neighbour-guy who is hard to get away from, but maybe it's worth the effort?
    Take care,
    Yellowbird