to mikie, lupian, lendy, tandy, bluesox, roadkill and shirl

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by joy4Him, Dec 8, 2004.

  1. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    I wanted to ask for more prayer. I had to change my ID because my husband keeps reading my posts and he knows I use ginn266 for everything. If you need to be refreshed you can click on ginn266's id and read my post under FMS board "no sex drive" and "my heart is broken "on this message board.

    Things are not good at all. He is still drinking, I found a empty six pack in his trunk. I told him I did not trust him about the drinking or the girl at work, he then said he did have a beer, but I know it is more than one, he does not know how I do though. He is still coming home really late. He says he wants to work on things, but I don't see him trying. He just gets really emotional thinking about not living with his children and then he wants to try, but empty promises.

    After Christmas I decided I will have to leave or will and we will have to put our house up for sale. I just can't trust him right now and the anxiety is tearing me up. I have really thought about this and have the asked the Lord for guidance. Please pray I can find a good job and will be able to handle it with having FMS as well. I am going to start taking classes in Jan and finish my degree too.

    If anyone else reads this, please pray, pray, pray! Maybe one day my husband and I can work our way back to each other. We loved each other so much once.


    [This Message was Edited on 12/08/2004]
  2. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    You dont know me so I hope its ok to respond to your post in here but I read your post and was really concerned about you.
    I will keep you close in prayer during your difficult time. Its a hard decision to make but in the end you will see its for the better. Ive been thru divorce myself and I remember how scared I was. My x didnt have a drinking problem but he had a mood disorder (boarder line bi-polar) and he use to stalk me and watch my every move when we separated. He also lead two lives thru out our marriage. It was a very tough choice for me to get him out of my life after 12 yrs marriage (16 yrs total invested in us) but wiht alot of prayer I am in a different place in my life right now. Life has been stressful for me, but it STILL out weighs what I use to live with thats for sure>

    HUGS to U! and plenty of prayer too!
    God bless you

  3. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    Thanks for your reply and no I do not mind you posted at all. I do think my husband is bi-polar too. I don't think he will stalk me though. This is going to be so hard, but I know HE will get me through it, my faith is in HIM and he is all I need.

    Thanks again,
  4. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    I would never suggest divorce to someone if they were not already considering it. I think the separation is crucial, and there is no way of knowing if he will get himself together again or not. The problem is, how would you ever be able to trust him again? You know from experience that his promises are empty. I don't think you will ever again recapture what you once had. The trust has been broken, and you know he has done things he is lying to you about. This is such a harsh situation, but you can make it!
    By the way, if he is reading your posts and checking up on you, that is GUILT on his part. He fears you are doing exactly what he is doing. Poor guy - I can feel sorry for him, and at the same time not want him to be putting his load of garbage on you.
    You hang in there and keep going straight ahead with your plan. Just ask God at every step to guide you and not let you take a single step outside the path He has set for you. God can be totally trusted to lead us right, if we will just listen to Him. That is one reason we cannot live in turmoil - it prevents us from hearing God.
    One step at a time you are going to do just fine. You have great good sense, you know where your strength lies, and as long as you trust God to show you the way, you will be far better off, very soon. Hindsight will make you wonder why you waited so long. It does to all of us.
    Hang in, hang on, and keep us posted. We are rooting for you. Hugs
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Did you e-mail Tech Support to ask them to change your username? If is illegal to have more than one username, so if you haven't done it yet, e-mail

    Just a question--if your husband is reading your posts and he reads this one, won't he still be able to read them?

    Love, Mikie
  6. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    He won't know this user ID name. I use ginn266 for everything that needs a username and thats how he figured the other posts I have done. Now if he reads all the posts posted he would find it, but I doubt he will do that. I will email tech support and let them know, thanks for the heads up.

  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    for you Ginny, I am so sorry to hear all you are still going through all this.

    I had been through a similar situation many, many years ago. I can assure you, he will be the one that is sorry in the end if things come to a complete break up with his family.

    You have my sincere prayers, just keep in mind, sometimes things get worst before they get better.

    The Lord moves in His own time, and at His own speed, but He always makes things better for us when the prayer is answered.

    You take good care of yourself, thank the Lord for His help, and we will do the praying for you.

    Shalom, Shirl
  8. roadkill

    roadkill New Member

    First things first. You must go to a place in your soul and stay their. That place is the truth. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. Do not deviate your thoughts from their.

    In my books drinking is a no brainer. No way no how one hundred percent dealbreaker.

    Personally, I have never been able to tolerate an addict or alcoholic even though I have been down that road myself.

    The thing is this: A relationship based in reality is impossible to have when the person you are dealing with is living on another plane. They simply cannot be trusted period when their inhibitions are actually lowered by chemical means.

    I would like to STRONGLY point out, from my own experience, to make as few major moves as you can for your own emotional survival.

    Stay in your home if it is possible. Don't go through yet another crisis.
    Working and going to school and raising children is a recipe for a nervous breakdown. Make as few changes as you possibly can.

  9. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Always follow what your insides and your heart tells you.
    Intuition is Gods way of helping us see the right way to go many times.
    I know its so hard to make that decision to leave. I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes.(but I know I could'nt live with all the accusing thoughts running thru my head everytime he leaves to go somewhere!!)
    You can't go on living like this.If he is untrusting,you have nothing!!

    Maybe time away from each other, like a trial seperation would do you both good?
    He needs to see that you are not gonna put up with his lies!! What if it were reversed and you cound'nt be trusted?? would he stay and pretend everythings ok.

    This is'nt what a love based relationship is~
    You deserve so much more then he's giving you!!

    Your MOST important!! Think of yourself first`
    This might sound selfish?? It really is'nt.
    please know that you'll be in my thoughts for a good outcome~ I'll say a prayer tonight that you will be guided in the best direction.

    Please stay in touch,.... we care :)

  10. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    Will update tomorrow![This Message was Edited on 12/16/2004]
  11. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    I feel very cautious. To drink is the most dishonest thing an alcoholic can do. If he feels he "can handle it" nothing will work with or for him. Please keep your options open and do not allow any more assaults on your pride or self-confidence. I am afraid this time he will attempt to pull the wool over your eyes, so you be watching, and listening to your tummy, okay? Trust yourself in this, and before all else trust God.
    You are still prayed for - and hugged in spirit.