To Pasara

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ABLUV, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. ABLUV

    ABLUV New Member

    Today is the 25th of August. I just read the posts about your son. How are things going? I hope your plan has been implemented and is working well. Let us know how it's going okay?
  2. pasara

    pasara New Member

    thanks for asking abluv!

    plan implemented. son goes from furious to crying like a baby to broody to humble. he is a confused baby but it's going ok. (the weekend was torture for him!) finally i have something to hang over him. some leverage, which i never had before.

    we have always had a good communicative relationship, and that has saved us. we are talking between the pouting and anger. there's still a ways to go. i have also talked to his coach and his boss to help keep tabs on him. he's tried some baloney, but gets called on it and feels foolish.

    i also called his dad (my ex) and left a message saying, "I have supported jr for all this time without asking for any support from you, but i'm asking now. i had him in counseling before and he needs to go again. i'm broke, so i need you to do this for him." several days passed with no call back, and i wasn't surprised, for that was par for the course. then yesterday got a call back and was given his cell phone number. a nice surprise. we still have not connected, but i expect to. we'll see what comes of that.

    as for my husband, that is a hard one. he is so hurt and is avoiding the house. he tells me repeatedly he loves me, and that has not changed one bit, but he can't be a part of this situation. he comes home for lunch most days (son is gone) but won't eat dinner at home, and is out most of the day. he leaves early in the morning, before i even wake up. the stays away most of the evening, usually inviting me to go somewhere with him. i do or i don't. he hugs me when he sees me. he is sad, i can see. he needs to withdraw a bit and regroup.

    i have decided i will just go on with things as normally as possible, stuck between the boy and the man, taking care of myself while they both churn through things. i have treated them both honorably, and they can have their space and figure out their own stuff.

    it was really good to have my sister-in-law around (she was visiting from out of town when this came down.)She has been a good mediator and sounding board for everyone. She left yesterday, and while i appreciated all she did while here, i'm glad she's gone. i am exhausted.

    today i am trying to keep myself from crashing. i overdid it yesterday. thank god i am on a fairly even mental keel at the moment, or i would be a mess.

    i appreciate your asking.

  3. ABLUV

    ABLUV New Member

    you are a praying woman, but I have found that praying about every detail of my life has helped me through the hard things in life. I tell God about how I am feeling, I ask questions like why is my husband doing this or that?", I go over my conversations word for word and it amazes me every time that God shows me something that I needed to know to get me through the next step or the next day or even the next minute. I am praying for you and these two special men in your life. Write us again if you need a shoulder to cry on. I'll check on you again soon....