Hey there sweetie! I am so happy to see that you have so many people that love you dearly here. Just keep taking your small steps like i said, dont take big ones, you might miss something inbetween. Lisa, believe me in my younger years i did everything possible, i took the long hard road. I don't regret any of it, it made me who i am today. The only regret that i had is that i hurt alot of people in the process but i have ask for forgivness and i did forgive myself. Read takesha post "A Splinter From the Cross" that is so true. Early on in my walk with the Lord i was kinda put off by some christians because they came off so strong that it seemed that couldnt even have fun in their lives, well i learned some of the time that is true, but my preception was making me think this. Remember the Lord wants us to be full of joy, happiness, even to be ornery (hmm, is that spelling right?) once in awhile, Lisa, just be who you truly are in your heart during this transition in your life. I don't personally know you, but from reading your post i see it happening. Honey, you have been blessed. God is going to work wonders with you, he already has. Keep in touch, your in my thoughts daily, i was where u were before, it can be scarey. But don't let it be. There isn't anything to be scared of honestly. Its just surrendering that scares us. Giving up are old ways as human beings is scarey. But Lisa, believe me, each and eveyone of us has been through this. We are no better or higher than you. We are all equal. I love you Lisa. love, mamafrey Lisa, i hope i didn't come off to strong, sorry if i did, i feel full of the spirit his morning. i love the Lord and I know forsure he Loves You!