To work... or not to work...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jat, Aug 22, 2003.

  1. jat

    jat New Member

    First time greetings!
    I've been reading your wonderful posts, and appreciate knowing there are people who understand what I feel.

    Here's my delema. In order to keep my full time job (and insurance!!) I've gone from Loratab, to oxyconton, to now Kadian (morphine). To keep me awake ... provigil ... to help me sleep ..ambian ... for seratonin ... celexa ... for muscles relaxant ... flexeril ... for constipation ... miralax. you all know the drill.

    I'm so stretched out and bone tired. I do have a good boss who will let me nap through my lunch hour, but it's becoming harder to get by on that.

    My last child has just left the nest, so the urgency to get dinner on and other motherly things is not so great, so that's been a relief (although a heart tugging one).

    My husband feels I need to keep working, so I don't curl up in a ball and stay in bed (which is what I do after work as it is). I'd go to part time, but would loose the insurance, and we all know the stress that would add.

    I've thought about disability, but in order for my doctor to accurate note my condition I'm afraid I'd have to go off all that medication that is currently keeping me alive. I KNOW I won't be able to work if I do that!

    I know I'm being a baby. But I finally feel I have someone to be a baby to. What do think?
  2. IgotYou

    IgotYou New Member

    We've probably all been victims of ourselves. I know I beat myself up more than anybody. But don't call yourself a baby! I've thought about quitting and I'm not as bad off as you are.

    My soap box is the no-wheat thing. Have you tried that? Have you been able to pinpoint the things that are aggravating your system? My belief is that what leads to this massive break down in our systems is an irritant. For me, it was wheat, and I'm beginning to believe all the hidden MSG is also aggravating my system. You've probably been through all this, but I can't help but ask the question. Giving up wheat CHANGED MY LIFE. If you haven't tried it, give it a try for a few days. You might suddenly find yourself able to stay awake all day!
  3. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Welcome!!!! You are not being a baby. I think if someone you loved were hurting, you would be the first to comfort and "do" for that person, as much as you could. Well, You are that person. Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself.
    About work. I had been a teacher for almost 30 years when I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. My doctor told me to take six weeks off (I was having spontaneous anaphalexic shock reactions), then four months. I was tripping, fallng, and having little car accidents. A dear teacher friend suggested that I consider retirement, because the district was offering a good package. I immediately had a full-blown panic attack! I could not even consider lettng go of my job, for many reasons. Upon reflection I realized that I probably should investigate retirement. I did, and when I told my doctor that I ws considering early retirement because I probably could no longer teach and have any quality of life, she said "I was waiting for you to figure that out". I retired, the finances worked out, and now, without guilt or stress, I devote myself to getting well, my loved ones, and my too-long-put-off hobby, painting. I am very happy.
    Within 3 years I was able to go back to teaching part time, until stress got to me, I fell and ruined my legs, so I retired 100%.
    I now take no regular perscription meds for CFIDS/Fibro, only supplements,and therefore, my liver and kidneys are also improvng. Why don't you discuss this with a counselor and your doctor? You do not need to push yourself to the point of such suffering. Insurance could still be a problem but maybe a way could be figured out so that you could be put on your husband's insurance. this is just an idea.
    Good luck, Terry
  4. azcactuslil

    azcactuslil New Member

    I have been going through the same thing. This actually would be the best time for me to apply for disability as far as having a clear cut case. But not a good time financially but when will it ever be good money wise. I provide the insurance for our family so that's an extra burden.

    I don't know what to do. I am hitting the brick wall of being able to keep my mind straight enough and out of the fog to work. Lost my last job because of those reasons. That was so humilating!! I have never had anything like that happen before in my life. In fact, just the opposite. Always have been on top of my game and all that. But this is what I am now and I don't think I am ready to give up and sit in a corner. Maybe I look at as some sort of failure but I am not ready to quit just yet. So I am looking for work and scared to death!
  5. jat

    jat New Member

    Thanks for the suggestion. Wheat, huh? I've noticed milk in the morning ruins my day,but I haven't paid much attention to other foods. I asked my doc for dietary advice, but he was less than helpful "more fruits and veggies" duh!

    I'll try cutting the morning toast!
    :)
  6. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    to the message board. I haven't posted here in quite awhile. I am in the same dilema you are in as to how long I can continue to work. Fortunately, I work half-time in the summer, but that still means nine months out of the year I am full-time.

    Does your husband still work? Maybe you can get insurance through his job? As far as going off your medication, I would talk to your doctor about that. Like you, I wouldn't be able to function without my pain meds.

    In case I do have to go on disability, my husband and I have been gathering information. Last March my husband and I went to a seminar in Cincinnati. I would suggest you get as much information as you can. You don't want to do something that can hurt you down the road.

    As far as being a baby, you never have to worry about that here! We are all in the same boat.

    Ellen
  7. fonda

    fonda New Member

    Hi,

    I dont think you are being a baby! You sound like a strong person to me. Hey, I used to be one of those!

    Who is your doctor?? It takes all the energy I have to get one Darvocet pill. I have so much pain. They wont give me anything. How do you get them to listen to you?

    I haven't been able to work in almost 2 years. I just got married for the second time just over 3 years ago. Now, I feel so guilty. I was having problems then, but nothing like I do now.

    I don't know what to tell you about work. I tried getting disability years ago. I had back surgery. Of course I didnt need it....my problem was the fms. Anyway I tried for a long time and gave up. Once I got to go before a judge (I was only in my 20's at the time) he just looked at me like I was nuts.

    I hope everything works out for you. Prayers and hugs.
    fonda
  8. shazz

    shazz New Member

    And only YOU can decide. Only you know how you really feel. I tossed this around for a long time, and while I was deciding I was hurting myself. I stuck with it as long as I could, but when I thought I would drop over dead at work I decided it was time to give it up.
    I too had a great boss, he even offered to let me work from home, but sitting at this computer all day taking calls really wouldn't have accomplished much since I couldn't sit at his computer all day making reservations either.
    I was very hesitant and it is alot of stress deciding if you can do it anymore. I also carried the insurance, and now have dropped my family and only carry it on myself.
    I really thought my life was over when I quit, and it is a HUGE change. No more handing the kids money for things they don't need, but only would like to have. No more vacations to Florida, or Mexico. No more ordering the pizza we like so well even though it's expensive. BUT you do get by somehow with many adjustments. Mostly I miss the social part of working, I had great coworkers and looked forward to visiting with them during the day.
    I do feel better now that I am not under the stress to be there, or mainly the stress to get some sleep, that was a huge part of it. I felt that if I didn't sleep I wouldnt' be worth a crap at work, and I am somewhat of a perfectionist when it came to doing my job well. (travel agent). So now if I don't sleep, I can take a nap during the day.
    Best of luck on your decision, I am waiting for SS news myself, and have settled in for the long haul. It's a pain in the A$$ waiting and wondering but I try not to let it stress me too much.
    I think you will know when the day comes, when you KNOW you just can't go on. Listen to your heart and most of all listen to your body, it will guide you.

    Hugs,

    Shazz