First time greetings! I've been reading your wonderful posts, and appreciate knowing there are people who understand what I feel. Here's my delema. In order to keep my full time job (and insurance!!) I've gone from Loratab, to oxyconton, to now Kadian (morphine). To keep me awake ... provigil ... to help me sleep ..ambian ... for seratonin ... celexa ... for muscles relaxant ... flexeril ... for constipation ... miralax. you all know the drill. I'm so stretched out and bone tired. I do have a good boss who will let me nap through my lunch hour, but it's becoming harder to get by on that. My last child has just left the nest, so the urgency to get dinner on and other motherly things is not so great, so that's been a relief (although a heart tugging one). My husband feels I need to keep working, so I don't curl up in a ball and stay in bed (which is what I do after work as it is). I'd go to part time, but would loose the insurance, and we all know the stress that would add. I've thought about disability, but in order for my doctor to accurate note my condition I'm afraid I'd have to go off all that medication that is currently keeping me alive. I KNOW I won't be able to work if I do that! I know I'm being a baby. But I finally feel I have someone to be a baby to. What do think?