Today was not a good day.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by laspis1, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. laspis1

    laspis1 New Member

    My hormonal tests for carcinoid are coming back normal. I guess it is a good thing. My flashes/attacks continue. For the last couple of days horrible nausea kicked in. I got one of those attacks at work today. It was bad, I felt awful and I wanted to puke. Than someone made a comment that what I need is a man (they used stronger words.) So I held up but after I left I needed to cry. I have been through a lot in my life and I have always been told that I am such a strong person, but sometimes the strongest crumble...I have not accepted that I am sick. I just can't. I can't take feeling sick, I can't take the strange looks and comments. Today was not a good day.
    ****
    Well, that was yesterday and today was not much better. I did not even make it through a day at work. I got another attack coupled with this horrible nausea, gagging. Someone saw what was going on and took me to the nurse. She took my BP and it was high. I never have high BP it is always on the lower side. So much for the theory that my attacks are caused by sudden drops in BP. I definitely think sth is going on with my heart. I was told to take a couple of days off. I would if I new it would help. This has been going on since Nov and it is not likely to go away in two days. But that is the limit people set on us. Two days should do it. Right? I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow. She will probably order another test and tell me to come back in three weeks. This is all so crazy.[This Message was Edited on 01/31/2006]
  2. Golde58

    Golde58 New Member

    Reading your post was like looking in a mirror. I too have always been the strong one and this CFS makes me feel weak and I hate it! I makes me mad whenever someone ask how I'm doing with my sickness as I don't really consider myself sick. Sometimes I think if I could just learn to accept the CFS and cry once in a while, maybe I would feel better. Don't be too hard on yourself and tomorrow will be a better day!!!

    Take Care,

    Kim
  3. laspis1

    laspis1 New Member

    Thanks for caring, I appreciate that you responded. I know that I am not alone and that all of you face it daily, but I cannot help feeling alone. I think I am getting really depressed and that can only make matters worse.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/31/2006]
  4. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Sorry yesterday was not a good day for you. I don't understand your coworkers comments that you needed a man. What does this have to do with being sick? Sounds like you work with some strange people.

    I still work part-time and can understand not feeling well and being at work. It's hard to pretend that everything is okay when it's not.

    Like you, I have always been the strong one, but like others here said, we all need to let our feelings out sometimes. It's much better than holding it in.

    Hope today is going better.

    Ellen
  5. laspis1

    laspis1 New Member

    Yes, it does sound like this is the "strong one" syndrome. Like you Wakemeup, i went through yeas of such stress it is hard to describe. I often walked around holding my stomach as if I was afraid my gut will explode. No one can sustain that. I knew I will get sick, I just did not know what it would be. I even thought about going to the dc to ask for sth that would numb me to the pain and everything that was going on, but I never did. In retrospect I should have. Maybe I would not be in this position now. You are right in that another relationship would add to my stress and right now I cannot tolerate the stress I still have much less add on to it. Plus I would be pretty miserable company anyway.

    WakeMeUp, thanks for the tips with nausea, but I am gluten intollerant and cannot have crackers. I am also trying to avoid sugar. So instead I will try ginger tea. The strange thing is that my attacks often happen when I eat sth or after I eat. Today it was after lunch. It seems that as soon as I swallow sth I get nauseous, and the attacks intensify the feeling many many times over.

    Thanks for all your kind words. I am not crying today. Even though I feel horrible it is the words and looks that can hurt more than FM ever could.
  6. debfee11

    debfee11 New Member

    Hi , I can't help but feel for you. It's so funny how most FM I seem to find were always the STRONG ones. I used to feel pretty much like you are but I've just gotten to a place where I don't even want anyone to know how I feel and leave me alone. Not many really give a S***. Anyway about your blood pressure, when you are in pain your pressure goes up. That is how you know you were in stress because of the elevation. Gotta go now. later maybe Love Debnes XXX