Tonight's humor ~ THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pgfnch2, Sep 2, 2005.

  1. pgfnch2

    pgfnch2 New Member


    > > 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious
    > > differences. He
    > > thought he was God and I didn't.
    > >
    > > 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
    > > minute of it.
    > >
    > > 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
    > > on Me!
    > >
    > > 4 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to
    > > kill them.
    > >
    > > 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out
    > > alive.
    > >
    > > 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk
    > > to me
    > >
    > > 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    > >
    > > 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    > >
    > > 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are
    > > missing.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    > >
    > > 12 NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
    > > why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
    > >
    > > 13.. omitted
    > >
    > > 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    > >
    > > 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    > >
    > > 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
    > > under it!
    > >
    > > 18 Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be
    > > When I grew up.
    > >
    > > 19.. Procrastinate Now!
    > >
    > > 20 I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
    > > Fries With that?
    > >
    > >
    > > 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    > >
    > > 22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
    > > advance
    > >
    > > 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    > >
    > > 24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was
    > > already taken.
    > >
    > > 25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
    > > dead.
    > >
    > >
    > > 26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses
    > > up three
    > > thousand times the memory.
    > >
    > > 27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a
    > > lifetime
    > > commitment for a pig.
    > >
    > > 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background
    > > music.
    > >
    > >
    > > 29 The original point and click interface was a
    > > Smith and Wesson.
    > >
    > > 30 I smile because I don't know what the heck is
    > > going on.
    > >
    > > Be thankful we're not getting all the government
    > > we're paying for. Will Rogers
  2. Rose_Red

    Rose_Red New Member

    http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

    it's a small download that get rid of all those >>>>> marks in your email. It's super easy to use too!
  3. heartinheaven

    heartinheaven New Member

    Thanks for time to STOP and smile, I hope I can't "get started again"

    Blessings,

    H Michael
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Hadn't heard some of them... LOVE them ALL!

    :))
    Victoria
  5. brit_17759

    brit_17759 New Member

    for the laugh, just what I needed....

    hugs brit