Too sad and depressed for words.......

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kadywill, Jun 18, 2003.

  1. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    Hi friends,
    Well, I've been denied my LTD (insurance) AND my Social Security Disability now and I find I have NO choice but to return to work.
    My husband is quite ill now and has taken numerous LOA's from work and we have NO income whatsoever. He and I each had to take out hardship loans from our 401k plans just to pay the mortgage and have some meals and this wasn't easy to do. The powers-that-be don't like to let go of OUR money! I cannot possibly appeal these decisions because I HAVE to work for a living, especially since my husband can't. At this point, I may well be the healthier of the two of us, and that's SAD! The doctors supported me and did all they could, as did I, to be approved for this disability money; if the LTD had been approved, I could've appealed the SSD, but, without $$$ coming in, that's not an option.
    I'm just so disappointed~~I am no better than I was when the MRI first showed my spinal stenosis and other back issues and I was told that nursing was no longer a possibility for me....this is all I know and all I can do. I can hardly imagine doing my job well with the pain I'm in. PLUS, I cannot possibly go without the pain meds I'm now on; in fact, I think my dosages will have to be raised when I'm performing the very jobs that trigger my severe back pain. While at home, I could avoid those triggers and rest when I needed to, which was often. I've been sedate for seven months now and I am being forced to go back to hard work. Worse, even, is the fact that my full-time and part-time position is lost and I can only be offered PRN status~~meaning I'll be called to fill-in when others are off. This is very hard to plan for and I hate it. I'll also have to work all shifts and I'll get NO benefits: no PTO time, no insurance, no disability, etc. I've been there seven years, but I've been on LOA for seven months and that means I start all over. This sux!
    Oh well, I've vented now and I apologize for complaining so. You know, living with our DD, alone, is so hard. For a lot of us, it's not even the ONLY medical problem we endure. I can hardly stand the thought of my future.
    I hope everyone else is having better luck with their health.
    Take care and pray often.
    Love,
    kady
  2. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    So sorry to hear this. I know nothing about LTD but I did get SSDI for serious back problems. I was 27 at the time and it was sure a battle to get it at my age. I finally got it on the third try with a lawyer. He did no work at all and I basically handed him all of my work! I also
    has failed back surgery when I was awarded SSDI so
    that probably helped me more than the lawyer.

    Are you going to appeal their answer? What was their
    lame excuse??? What about your husband? Can
    he apply for SSDI?

    PRN would be very difficult for you I know! I can never
    do anything on the spur of the moment. It's so awful.

    What about becoming one of those home health aids?
    I am sure the job is beneath you but maybe you could
    hook up with someone who just needs some light
    health monitoring. How about a visiting nurse?
    That might be too difficult. What about private
    nurse registries. Are their nurses who can be hired
    out as needed to those who need them. Maybe
    you should look around and see if there is something
    less stressful for you to do. Can you look elsewhere
    for work than where you were previously
    working. Something less stressful.

    I am sorry for your situation. Do you have grown
    up children who could help you out????

    Take Care,
    Lynn
  3. tadpoles

    tadpoles New Member

    IT STINKS, I KNOW, WE WILL BE SELLING OUR HOME THE END OF THIS MONTH, I HAVE NOT WORKED SINCE MARCH 2002, MY HUBBY AND I BOTH CARRY THE MAIL, SO OUR INCOME HAS BEEN CUT IN HALF. I SHOULD HEAR FROM MY DISABILITY IN SEPT. BUT CAN'T KEEP GOING TIL THEN. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND, GOD BLESS YOU AND HANG IN THERE!

    SINCERELY,
    TADPOLES
  4. garyandkim

    garyandkim New Member

    a desk job. Nurse recroter, teaching, puplic health person that goes to patients houses to make sure they take there meds. That type of thing. If you can work a bit longer maybe you can document you case with more.

    Take good care, kim and Gary
  5. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    thank you for your kind words. I may well look into private-duty nursing. I have to make a certain amount of money to pay our bills; we have four grown children, but all of them struggle and could not possibly be of financial help. My parents are no longer living. We have never had anyone to turn to for help, so that's out. I don't think I have the energy to apply for a new job right now. All the tests and junk would just be too much for me. No, my husband could never get SSDI for his condition~~after my denial, I am just too exhausted to even consider an appeal, especially since I can't stay out of work to do it. It is so frustrating to have a medically documented and proven condition and STILL be told that I can do SOME kind of work. Whether I CAN or not, I'll have to. They said I could LOWER my standards! LOL
    Love,
    Kady
  6. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    all of you! I will go back to work at my old job and work enough to get caught up on the bills and I will check into all you have suggested then. I'd LOVE to be able to do something per computer at home. Does anyone know a way I can do this? I checked into medical transcription once and they said I'd have to take more college courses~~~I have a nursing degree and a degree in English.....this is silly! I type fairly well and I can't see a reason to have to attend more classes to do this type of work.
    Any ideas about this??
    Thanks!
    Love,
    Kady
  7. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    I contacted Scott in November of last year and he said I had a good case. He said to let him know when I was denied. I also contacted a local attorney who said the same thing. The problem is, I cannot appeal this decision and sit home while waiting, because my husband cannot support us. It doesn't look favorable if I work at all while appealing and I must do so to eat and have shelter. See? I HAVE to go back to work and that makes disability impossible. Yes, I have an accepted diagnosis for SSD and I am being forced to return to the job that damn well killed me because it's all I know to do. I can't teach in the school system, even though I have a degree in education. I just could not get hired with my health problems. I'm a poor risk~~the only reason I can go back to my old job is that I never resigned...I have stayed on the inactive, but employed list. My license is up-to-date, so I can do that, but I sure dread the consequences.
    I want to appeal, but I have to support us. We have no other means of support.
    Love and thanks,
    kady
  8. Lynda B.

    Lynda B. New Member

    My heart breaks for you. I really think you ought to call one the lawyers you referred to. They know what they are doing. They may be more creative than you think and can work the system so that it does what it is suppose to and help you. I try not to tell anyone what to do but I think you have to talk to another lawyer before going further. That depression can get to you, too.

    Lynda B.
  9. mstg

    mstg New Member

    My appeal is coming up in sept. I drew unemployment for as long as I could which might hurt me. I went to work in Jan at a different profession but just couldnt continue because of my health. I am hoping they will look at this thing as at least I tried. How old are you, the younger u are the harder it is to get it seems? God Bless You
  10. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    Kady, so sorry to hear about your plight. I think it's their job, or at least their SOP, to deny all claims initially in the hope that you'll go away. I think they assume that everyone who files for disability is trying to scam them. My neighbor's son got a brain tumor that made him blind--they denied him!!! (I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't wish CFS on anyone, but I *do* wish it on the people who at least make the policies for determining disability. Hey, the "news magazine" shows have done segments on the disability scammers, maybe they should to a segment on US--the people who file valid claims and get denied and denied and denied. And lose so much because of it!)

    I've never heard of anyone who was approved at the very beginning. So I think you must appeal. Talk to the attorney about your needing to work because you do have to eat.... (Also, find out what you really can live without. If I would have cut my expenses better when I first got sick, I wouldn't have gotten quite so much in debt--I used credit to pay for living expenses.)

    My neighbor's son finally got his approved after his mom called their senator. That's what I'm going to do if my next application for SSDI is disapproved.
  11. pooped

    pooped New Member

    Kady, Have you looked into any kind of assistance programs? There just has to be some kind of financial aid out there for you and your husband. When I was younger and working my butt off in a factory I knew so many people who were on welfare and living way better than I and they were not even sick, just lazy. It seems with your medical problems and those of your husband would qualify for some kind of aid like food stamps or welfare or both. There must be something. Don't give up Sweetheart. Type in local government assistance on your browser and see what comes up. Wish there were more I could do to help.

    POOPED
  12. rlb

    rlb New Member

    HELLO KADY,
    I'M SO SORRY! THAT IS HORRIBLE THEY TURN YOU DOWN..
    IT KILLS ME THAT YOU CAN'T GET A DIME BUT IF YOU WERE ON DRUGS OR A DRUNK YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO GET SOMETHING FROM SSI!IT AMAZES ME THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF THEIR HEALTH DON'T GET ANYTHING BUT THOSE WHO MAKE THEMSELF SICK GETS EVERYTHING!FIBROMYALGIA IS NOT TAKEN SERIOUS IN THE MEDICAL FIELD OR TO ANYONE ELSE REALLY!THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING SO EVERYONE WOULD UNDERSTAND OUR PAIN!I'VE WRITTEN TO EVERY NEWS STATION AND NEWS PAPER IN PHILA.PA I HAVE WRITTEN E-MAILS TO THE FIRST LADY,MAGAZINES,STARS,TALK SHOW HOST I THINK I WROTE TO EVERYONE FOR 2YEARS,LOL,LOL, AND GUESS WHAT HAPPEN? NOTHING! SURE THEY WOULD SEND REPLY BUT IT WAS ONE OF THEM E-MAILS SAYING THEY RECIEVED MY E-MAIL... I GO TO SSI ON JULY 2 AND I KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO LOOK AT ME AND SAY YOU LOOK GREAT TO ME AND TURN ME DOWM TOO! THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING WE ALL COULD DO FOR FIBROMYALGIA SUFFERS.DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ANSWERS? PLEASE POST IF YOU DO! COUNT ME IN!
    TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK SWEETIE
    ROBIN
  13. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    Did SS send you to Voc Rehab?

    Personally, I haven't gotten much help from them (my lawyer said they're geared more to people who are injured and need to be retrained but can work full-time, not people in our position). But they might be able to help you out, suggest alternative jobs, etc.

    You might know enough about various nursing positions to find a sedentary one without their help.

    The only job they suggested to me that you can do at home on the computer is medical transcription. (I'd have to be trained and they weren't very clear about the number of hours.) Voc Rehab hasn't told me about any other at-home jobs and I'm not sure where to look. I know there's web page development, or craft assembly (pays by the piece and I don't really have the room), or data entry (which usually isn't at-home and doesn't necessarily pay very well).
  14. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    First of all I would strongly recommend that you appeal your LTD denial. I don't know the criteria for your policy, but for mine I had to be unable to perform the duties of the job for which I was hired.

    I was initially denied, but after an appeal I was able to get an approval. There are attorneys who specialize in this type of work and you may be able to find one who will do it on contingency for you.

    Second, if you go back to work and have to quit due to your health problems SS can count that as a failed work attempt. That's what I was told about the three months I tried working half-time.

    So, in short, I would suggest that you appeal your SSDI and your LTD denials.

    Good luck

    Barbara
  15. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    Please do not let them win...There must be something you can do to get LTD/SDD!!!!!

    Please consider getting a lawyer...LELE
  16. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    so very tired and tearful and all I've done is ride to the grocery store and to WalMart with my husband to buy the necessities! I do not see HOW on earth I'll work one shift, much less a full week! Lord, what to do?
    I may contact the lawyers and see how much I can work while appealing, but I'm not at all optimistic about this. I'm tired of having to justify myself. The tests PROVE I have disabilities~~~~I just cannot envision anything positive in the near future and I am just so tired of it all.
    I'll try to write later when I'm not so depressed. Thank you all for your support and kindness.
    Love,
    Kady
  17. epicurean

    epicurean New Member

    how I wish I had some advice,or could help in some way!!All I can do is remember you in my prayers.
    Fondly,
    Chris
  18. epicurean

    epicurean New Member

    how I wish I had some advice,or could help in some way!!All I can do is remember you in my prayers.
    Fondly,
    Chris

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