Took the leap today

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jmq, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. jmq

    jmq New Member

    and because of it I am in a MAJOR flare. I have a migraine and hurt everywhere. I slept ALL day today. Got up 2x to go to the bathroom. Can not even eat....just my meds and lots of water.

    Any ways, I told my boss that I could not come back to work. For those that do not know my story..I was working full time and finally took a 6 week sick leave to see if I could figure out a way to get my FM symptoms better or under control with rest, eating right, and water arobics etc. Unfortunately, I did not get any better. I am not giving up but I KNOW I can not go back into the rat race. I got a flare from even talking to them about it again.

    The good news is they will let me do a few hours a month of work at home so I can still be on the payroll and get credits toward my retirement...which is in January! I think that is so very good of them. I also think this will allow me to apply for my LTD that I have paid for over the last 28 years!

    The sad part is I cannot turn back now and have to go clean out my office soon. Can you imagine 30 years worth of stuff and memories to clean out in one day. I asked if I could do it after hours or on the weekend so I would not have to talk to anyone....I know I will be crying my eyes out. I am already crying.

    I know, without doubt, that this is better for me physically but its SOOOOO hard to walk away from what I WAS so good at. I had this job before I was married, before I had a child...its been "me" for soooo long. Now I am so sickly and am afraid I will never be much better.

    For those of you that kinda know me, I am usually not this pesimistic...and it is probably the pain and sense of loss talking. I always dreamed of the day I could retire...but I wanted it to be happy and on my terms with the good bye party and the works. Oh well, enough of my self pity. I am VERY lucky to have an employer that is working with me. I just PRAY i get the disablity because my husbands income is not enough.

    Thanks for the shoulder to cry on...
    jmq
    [This Message was Edited on 04/26/2007]
  2. Engel

    Engel New Member

    I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so badly hun.

    I am on STD and I think I am worse ... weird huh? DON'T TELL MY BOSS ... lol. But there is no way I can return to work at this point. I know what you mean about the $$$. I am single. I am IT. My pay is down to 60% at this point and will drop to 50% on LTD (if I can get it approved). I just filed bancruptcy :-( . I cannot pay my bills and pay for meds and rent too. I was hoping to hang in working until age 55 but I am not going to make it. Just can't do it anymore.

    I hope you get the SSDI and can stop worrying about it. I think that will help. I can't file until August 13th when the STD runs out.
  3. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    You deserve a rest and some time for just YOU.
    After all those years you put in, now it is your time.Although you aren't feeling well you now will have time to focus on you and what makes you feel your best.
    I know it will be emotional cleaning out your office, but I hope while you are cleaning, that you find some things there that bring back memories that make you laugh or smile.
    Good luck to you!!!!
  4. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    dear jmq
    well, at least its a decision made and one less thing to worry about...i hope the disability comes thru. you are very lucky your employer has a conscience and is taking care of you.
  5. jmq

    jmq New Member

    I can count on you all being there. I am very lucky with my employer..and finding this board. I just have to remember the positive...

    Thanks for listening...
    jmq
  6. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    I am still working as I own my own business and I can pace myself, however even that is getting very difficult. But, why I am writing I recently (November) was in a car accident and at the same time had knee surgery. I was bedridden other then therapy. Well, I am a type "A" personality so I could not just lie there. So, I used to love to write, poems or songs mostly. Well I started to write again and I looked up some of my family heritage on the computer, read books and did other research and now that I am better I am slowly going back to the pool. What I am trying to say is I would have no problem I think, if I had to stop working at my job (and I love my work and I too am good at it) as I am the type of person I would fill my day with other hobbies when I felt well enough to do so. I think by your post you sound like you are the same kind of person. We may be in pain and may not to be able to do much physically but we are not brain dead. I think you will find other interest to fill the void. Eventually you won't even look back just forward.
  7. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    I am 55 and just had to quit last August. I gave notice in June but it took me 2 months (since I couldn't work full days) to clean out my office and pass on all my job responsibilities.

    I had been there almost 16 yrs and spread the work to about 7 people.

    I thought I would miss working but I am just so thankful I don't have to get ready for work anymore. I was at the point of feeling like I would pass out at any moment.

    I wish you well and pray you will be approved for your disability. I was approved for SSDI but have yet to be approved for my LTD.

    Take care