Top Jokes in Several Countries

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by elliespad, Dec 18, 2006.

  1. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    LONDON, England (CNN) -- In an experiment conducted in Great Britain, people around the world were invited to judge jokes on an Internet site as well as contribute their own.

    Dr. Richard Wiseman's LaughLab research resulted in a ranking of jokes from many countries. (Full story)

    Here are some of the top laughs by country.

    Top joke in the United Kingdom
    A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.

    The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

    The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"

    The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

    Top joke in the United States
    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

    His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

    The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

    Top joke in Canada
    When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 Celsius.

    The Russians used a pencil.

    Top joke in Australia
    This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

    The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight ..."

    Top joke in Belgium
    Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.

    Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

    Top joke in Germany
    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

    This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

    The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."


  2. paulmack

    paulmack New Member

    Thanks for those elliespad,really enjoyed them.A joke a day keeps the doc away,LOL,Paul.
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Nothing I like better than something that is educational and funny.

    Dave Barry did a column one time in which he asserted that a survey had found the funniest joke in England. It was a terrible joke involving the game of badmitten and a dog named Mitten.

    He also says most people don't believe surveys. About 62% of people asked (nearly half) say they don't trust surveys.
  4. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Surveys and statistic mean diddly squat in my book.

    I do really like the NASA joke!!! LOL

    When statistics say that only 10% such and such people will have such and such problem, and you fall into that 10% group it's not very comforting!

    Sorry, this is a joke thread, and i'm getting serious on you!