Total Meltdown.. Boss called me in..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dononagin, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Wow.. ok.. some of you know I've been pretty much living in fear that this dd is going to cost me my job. My memory is getting worse, I'm making mistakes as a result.. I'm having a really tough time working right now..

    Thursday I had a melt-down at work.. couldn't get my pain under control, took a second pain pill on an empty stomach and had to run out of a meeting throwing up.. Smashed my finger in the door on the way back to the meeting.. I mean you name it..Burst into tears.. Got sent home sick.. stayed off yesterday..

    Ok.. So.. Today my General Manager calls me into his office..

    I'm thinking ok.. here comes the walking papers.. or at very least a verbal warning..

    He says.. Sit down... How are you??

    Talk to me..

    Sooooo.. I know he is referring to my meltdown.. so I just told him I'm sorry, you know that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibro.. I'm dealing with Chronic Pain and though usually I can deal with it, this time it just got the best of me. I'm sorry..

    He says.. Donna.. this isn't about your job.. you are doing your job.. but this last month you have really had me worried. I can see it in your face, I can hear it in your voice, I can see it in your eyes, that you are not ok..

    Then he tells me about the Sansum clinic in Santa Barbara. He tells me that our Chief Controller's wife (who passed away a few months ago) was sent there after years of being told she had fibro and it turned out that she had cancer.

    There have been a few others in our organization in upper management that have been sent there for a three day evaluation. Apparantly, the examine you head to toe, run batterys of tests and decide based on their specialists what is wrong with you.

    He is going to speak with the owner of our company and try and get me authorized. My insurance should pick up a large portion of it, but he thinks the owner will cover my expences going down there.

    ok.. wow.. this wasn't what I was expecting.. I have nothing to lose.. I can keep going like I am with uncontrolled pain and brain fog till I get fired.. maybe they can get on some kind of pain management plan that might work.. or if there is a piece to the puzzle maybe they can find it..

    I just don't know.. I've never heard of this clinic. I'm going on-line to see what I can find out.. Any one familiar with it??

    I don't know what to think! It's great that upper management wants to work through this with me and isn't just giving me walking papers.. but at the same time it means that I've reached a point where my health has come to their attention enough for them to be concerned..

    Ok.. had to tell somebody..
    love to all.. dona

  2. auntyemnga

    auntyemnga New Member

    light at the end of the tunnel! I am not familiar with the clinic you mentioned but I think it is wonderful that upper management is concerned about you as a person.

    Most of us who are still working (I've been on disability for approx 6 weeks) always have that nagging little thought inside of us wondering if we're going to lose our job.

    I believe you are on the right track. Do as much research as possible about the clinic. Maybe your supervisor could provide more information. This could be the answer you've been waiting for.

    Good luck and keep us posted,
    auntyem
  3. lolee

    lolee New Member

    And what part of this are you having a problem with? They are offereing you the SAME program that top management has used?

    Girl, GO FOR IT!!! God is giving you the help you need . . .don't worry about all the other stuff running through your head. Obviousely they care about you . . .get it? THEY CARE ABOUT YOU! I wish I or someone here could be there to hold your hand and help you walk through this, I know it can be scary . . . . but be happy, be relieved and be grateful (I'm not implying that you're ungrateful - LOL) but it is SO hard for us sometimes, especially when everything has always been with strings attached, or when we get told it's all in our heads, so that when someone believes us and wants to help us we don't have enough experience with that to KNOW how to respond.

    Smile, be graceful, tell him how much you apppreciate this and go for it!! Not only will it probably help but also by accepting this offer it also shows your boss that ARE willing to try and work this out.

    Please keep us posted!!

    I'm going to do a search too! But I just feel good about this for you!

    Luv,

    Lolee
  4. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Lolee.. you are right.. that is exactly my fear.. though I had a diagnosis of cfids 10 years ago, it took till this year to be diagnosed with fibro and find a decent rhumie.. I've been told so many times your tests are fine.. you don't look sick.. I'm sure it's nothing...
    I'm afraid I'm going to get down there, they are going to do the tests and tell me I'm fine.. when I know I'm not and haven't been for years..
    I did a search on the clinic and it looks to be pretty top-notch.. a lot of specialists on board. I searched their site for fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and the only thing that came up was something under nutrition and conditions.. BUT.. at least they believe in it!!
    I swear sometimes finding a doctor who believes in cfs/fibro is like finding a 10 year old that still believes in Santa!
    Stormy.. you are right.. I need to go armed with as much info as I can down-load.. Also, I think I better start making calls now and try to track down all of my med history.
    Auntyem.. It did catch me off guard that they would consider me, (I'm middle management) for an upper management perk..
    I just pray this isn't a pipe-dream and that it really will come through..
    My GM is supposed to have contact information for me by Monday.. What do I have to lose??
    Hugs and Love to all of you.. Thank you!
    dona
    [This Message was Edited on 01/14/2006]
  5. MsE

    MsE New Member

    The very best of luck to you, Dona. I am so glad your boss is a caring individual. A real gem. Go for it!
  6. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    Wow, that story just made my heart go calm. It is so wonderful that your boss cares so much about you and is willing to send you to the specialty clinic.
    I read to your post because it hit so "home" with me and how I feel at my job. The fog has been so bad, and it's so hard to concentrate and "keep it together". I have just been waiting for my papers too. I haven't had a raise in 2 years and last conversation with my boss he pretty much said I was already overpaid. I figure I'll just hang in there until he decides to let me go.

    You are absolutely right, you have nothing to lose. I am
    so happy for you. Keep us informed

    Hugs and prayers, nanna
  7. cbella

    cbella New Member

    GO FOR IT! It's good that you let feelings show on your face...it sounds like it paid off. Too many times we hide how we feel and who is it hurting? but ourselves. If there is someone out there that wants to help...Good luck and keep us posted........hugs....cb
  8. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    You are so lucky..It is nice to hear your story when most of the time employer are very cruel and only care about the "buck".
  9. kjfms

    kjfms Member


    How fantastic for you-I am green with envy! Clearly your boss not only sees you as a valued part of the team-but more importantly as a human being. In today's dog eat dog this is too rare.

    I lost a very good job several years ago because of FMS-so it is very nice to hear about this-I hope you take full advantage of this and that you get some relief and answers.

    I wish you the best of luck,

    Karen
  10. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    All of you Thank you so much.. I'm trying to stay positive but I can't help having this little nagging feeling of inpending doom.. like if something is too good to be true it is?? Praying it is meant in the good faith he put it out there with and I guess I'll see what happens!! I'll keep ya all posted!!

    Love and Hugs to all!!
    dona
  11. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Yey! I needed to hear there are good people out there! Thanks for posting. I am glad for you! You are blessed to have a caring manager.
  12. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I am sorry to hear about your meltdown; however, it was extremely kind of your boss to offer the info about the clinic and then to get you authorized and work out the payment for it. You don't find very many bosses like that!

    They are probably so caring due to the recent loss of the manager's wife. Maybe that woke them up. Whatever .... take it as a blessing and go. Let us know how it turns out!

    Hugs,
    Janet
  13. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    at a time when companies are becoming SO uncaring and have NO tolerance for anything with employees! Every one is so right, you are truly blessed!

    I don't work but I would be in second heaven if some one would walk in and say they were willing to get me head to toe care and even "might" be able to turn some of this misery around!

    Go for it and take advantage of every minute! Bambi
  14. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    You're lucky to have a boss that wants to help.

    My boss used to tell me, "You're slipping back into your old habits."

    I used to say, "Being disabled is not a habit, Larry."

    A couple years later he became disabled w/ a brain tumor and couldn't work anymore. I refrained from making obvious comments, but I was tempted.
  15. I say hurray and would run there in a minute if I had the chance. What a nice boss!
  16. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Reading your post brought me to tears. My ex boss who know about my illness/illnesses basically told me not to come back to work.

    I refuse to let me present employers know what is going on unless I absolutely have to, and I hope I don't have to.

    I hope you realize how lucky you are to have such caring employers.
    Hugs,
    Tigger
  17. TXFMmom

    TXFMmom New Member

    I am so sorry to hear about your problems.

    I hope you can work through them.

    It is wonderful that your company is sending you to this clinic.

    Do check and see if this place is just a Pscyh Clinic. I have heard of companies insisting that employees go get a check-up and they only learn that it is a Pscyh Clinic, after they are locked in.

    I was a Medical Professional and the stories patients used to tell me were unbeliveable but only too true.
  18. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    and checked it out. It looks to be a great clinic.. over 60 different specialties covered by their staff.

    The only thing that kind of worried me is when I looked under their rhumatologist list of diseases fibromyalgia/cfs was not listed. Maybe because we are considered syndromes and not diseases??

    I did a search on the site for fibro/cfs and the only thing that came up was under nutrition. hmmmmm.. At least they were listed somewhere though.

    There are a lot of things that the doctors have poo-pooed off as nothing that maybe I can get resolved. My lesions, the pupuria.. Chest pain.. etc. + I have gastro conditions, ulcerative colitis and diviriticulitis that keep landing me in ER.. If they could help figure these out it would be great.

    My biggest hope though is that they can find a way to help with my brain fog and pain..

    I guess we will see. The GM is supposed to have a number for me to call today and he said to be patient that it could take months to get an appt. Barbara, the lady who just passed away waited 4 months to be seen there.. but this was after 7 years of going to doctors up here..

    Ok.. fingers and toes are crossed.. I'm going to do my best to keep a positive attitude.. and I'll keep you all posted.

    Thank you so much for your support!
    Love to all... dona