TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD BY COWORKERS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by spencer, May 28, 2006.

  1. spencer

    spencer New Member

    FM is hard enough to deal with when it comes to physical pain. But, when you add fibro fog to it, and mention it, it is easy to be laughed at and this hurts. My short term memory can get so bad at times, and concentration can become almost too horrible to bear.

    I am a secretary/receptionist. I am so tired of the pressure of rushing all the time. I can't help it that I've slowed down a lot. It seems like I move slower, it takes longer to think things out clearly, and at times I feel like no one really believes me at my job. I feel like I'm letting my supervisor and co-workers down, and yet I don't want to quit working and getting disability even if I could do that. The "invisibleness" of FM makes it seem that only those close to you even have an inkling what I'm going through. I am just not being taken seriously by my supervisor or co-workers. In fact, one co-worker is constantly telling me what to do, how to do, always thinking that she's right and I'm wrong. This only brings me down more. Many days I leave work feeling really down on myself.

    There are times at work when I might have forgotten something or made a mistake somewhere where I shouldn't. Then all I want to do is cry, but I know I can't do that.

    It seems that everything that's wrong with me - FM, anxiety, depression, memory lapses and concentration difficulties are complely misunderstood by others. I am made to feel inadequate, lazy, crazy, and not seriousl about my work. I am a very diligent worker but I tend to feel that I'm not as fast as the other secretaries. But up until now, I have rarely made a "typo" on my work. I pride myself in my work ethic and my invisible symptoms just drag me down......

    Any advice on dealing with what I've described? I work full time (have to for financial reasons)and it's just getting harder and harder to continue this way. When I get home from work, it's almost 6PM and I'm just too tired sometimes to prepare my dinner.

  2. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I was an Administrative Assistant when my symptoms started to get really bad. I was so exhausted all the time. I kept a pillow and blanket in my car and I would spend my lunch time and breaks in my car napping.

    Whenever I left my desk, I made sure I carried a pen and a pad of paper because I could not trust my memory if someone stopped me and asked for something. I had to write everything down with the time and date.

    My doctor recommended that I take time off to rest. I went on a short-term disability leave. During that leave I came down with the flu and I never recovered. I never was able to go back to work.

    My advice to you would be to create a medical history and start documenting all your symptoms. If you don't already have one, find a good doctor who will be supportive of your needs. It sounds like you are very ill and if you are not doing your job properly, it may have an impact on whether or not you can continue to work.

    Take care of yourself,

    Lolalee
  3. spencer

    spencer New Member

    Lolalee,

    Thanks for getting back to me, but I am sorry that FM has taken its toll on you. I do hope you feel better soon.

    Over Memorial Day weekend, I really did rest. My husband had a hernia operation on Friday, so I've been spending most of the time with him, but I did manage to go out shopping today (Mon.) and buy some things at great sale prices. I have gained too much weight and I needed some new clothes. Maybe then I'll be more on time to work - every day I waste time digging up a shirt and pants to wear. Not anymore. Starting tomorrow, I'll have my clothes picked out the night before.

    Turned out I had a sinus infection + a urinary infection. So I was really out of it.

    As for the FM, I am calling an in-network oriental doctor tomorrow. At this point, I'm willing to even try acupuncture to help me. She is also a pain specialist.

    I was really feeling down when I posted my 1st message. The venting, however, did feel good.

    You take care and any time you want to send me a message, I'll be more than happy to reply. Misery does love company (just kidding)!! Have a good week.

    Spencer
  4. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Thanks for your sweet reply. I am glad things are a bit better for you and that you were able to go shopping and get some bargains!!

    Good luck at work tomorrow

    Lolalee
  5. mischuv

    mischuv New Member

    Last year when I started to flare again I started going through really bad fibro fog never being able to remember anything, I know that it was because at the time my husband and I separated, my grandfather died and I really struggled to cope as a single parent working fulltime in a job where my employees would ring me anywhere betwen 5am and midnight with problems.
    I ended up resigning and am just starting to look for another job now. I found it took me about 3 months just to get back to my normal self but now mentally I feel heaps better and though I still have fibro fog it's nowhere near as bad.
    Are you able to take some time off even just a week to get some really decent rest and relax?? You will feel better for it....
  6. painandagony

    painandagony New Member

    i can relate to all of you. so many people are ignorant and rude.

    spencer- is there any way you can take a vacation or short-term disability (like the others who posted said)?

    Also, I know you said you have to work for financial reasons. Any way at all you can work part-time or find a different job with someone who understands better? I have to say I have had understanding employers, there are some out there, but I also work very part-time. I know what it's like to feel down on yourself everyday and that is no way to live. Going on disability was the best thing I ever did, but I don't know what would happen if you did that.
    Just throwing things out - it's almost 2am and I can't sleep, so I don't know if I am even making any sense. Just wanted to reply.