tough life right now

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, May 15, 2003.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Thanks for all your support from my last post. I do have a lawyer and she is good and will take care of me. I am not going to file for divorce because he is the one who wants it and so when he does I will be ready. As to the issue of my staying in our home I want to move out. This hosue is morgaged to the hilt we took out a huge loan in dacember and I can't afford the payments and the house needs alot of repairs which if he lives here he can do then he will have to sell it. each day is still really hard for me we had so many palns that are not going to happen now and it really hurts. He does not believe me about my having fibro and needing my pain meds. He thinks that I can turn the fibro on and off to get my own way like not working or cleaning house of getting up in the mornings. The thing that upsets me most is that he fills my daughters heads with this nonscense about fibro and pain and how I use to much medications. He tells them things that are not true and things that he know nothing about. It hurts to have hime tell them that I am a failure at being a wife and mother becasue I am on drugs. My daughters listen to him becasue he is the dad even tho they are grown up almost being 25,21, and 18. They love their dad and becasue dad gets up and goes to work no matter how awful he feels it makes me look bad and they think that all mom's should get up in the morning and clean the house and work and fix meal do laundry ect. And that my fibro is not real. I want to smack him upside the head but it would not do any good. But I wanted to let you know that I am standing up for myself and have a lawyer and when the time is right he will learn that he does not always get what he wants. If it were not for the fact that he someimes checks up on what I write on this forum I would give you more info but I can't right now. I have supported my daughters in everything stood up for them always and have taken care of them but he has not once stood up for our daughters even in the really serious things that have happened to one of the girls . But I want you to know it means alot to me that you care and understand what I am feeling and going through. I am going to try and get some sleep now Rosemarie
  2. Princessraye

    Princessraye New Member

    Dear Rosemarie,

    I am sorry you find your self in such a hard situation.
    Maybe, even though it is hard, it will be the best thing in the long run to be divorced.
    What concerns me most is your kids. Your husband is doing them a great disservice by pushing them with all of this information which causes them to "choose sides."
    Maybe they could read some of the information or posts on this site and see that we are real people who have a real illness? Even people their age have it.
    I grew up with a mom who had fibro and CFS and at 29 I got it myself. Obviously we hope you girls don't get it but they have a chance .
    Try to be the calm voice of reason, people do not listen to a screamer. I know it's hard.
    You are all in my prayers.

  3. PatPalmer

    PatPalmer New Member

    He was manipulitive, a control freak, mentally cruel and so up his own backside his head was too big to fit... Sad git.

    I left him with the two children aged 11 & 12, as it was the ONLY way I could get rid. I lived 5 mins walk away.
    But he had poisoned their minds to the extent they wanted nothing to do with me.
    I went through the courts for access but they were of an age to decide for themselves, although it was glaringly clear he had done his worst.
    But my daughter moved in with me 18 months later. She`d had enough of him too, and never wants contact again. I haven`t had any contact with my son for 6 years now.

    It`s a horrendous time Rosemarie, it`s such a pity your husband only wants for himself, he`s a loser.

    I have now met a wonderful man who has no hang ups with himself and loves me to bits, tired an all. - we`re very happy.

    There is a better life, just such a shame.

    By the way, have you seen my article on Cytolog, sounds too good to be true but is already working after only one day. Claims to be of enormous benefit to FMers.

    Love Pat.
  4. tulip922s

    tulip922s New Member

    Sounds like you have hit rock bottom Rosemarie. I got CFS/FM 2 years ago and my now EXHUSBAND was very unsupportive. He could not understand why I just couldn't get out of bed and why I had to take so much medicine for the pain. He ranted and raved everyday and made my life absolutely miserable to the point where I had chest pains one night and thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. Chest pains were a result of anxiety and I was referred back to my physician,,,,who knew some of my situation and had one BIG talk with me,,,,,he asked me if this man was worth dying for, because the stress and unhappiness was killing me. My daughter was fed up with him and was finding ways to be with friends and not come home. I made up my mind to leave that day,,,,contacted a lawyer and moved back in with my parents at age 46 with my teenage daughter. What a long 10 months this was, I was almost totally bedridden,,,,I had lost my job that I loved, my home, and my marriage and moved my daughter into a school she didn't like. Now 2 years later I have my own apartment and PEACE OF MIND. My daughter is happy and our relationship is good. I have filed for SSD and am waiting, however, living now on money from divorce since I did the leaving. And the best part of my whole story is that I have met a wonderful man who is totally supportive of my illness and treats me the way I should be treated. He rubs my legs when they hurt,,,instead of screaming for me to get out of bed,,,,he brings me tea and meals when I am too weak to get up,,,not ranting and raving about how much I didn't do around the house and what a mess the place is,,,,,he takes me to the doctor if I am too weak to drive,,,,instead of the ex who always questioned what the quack was up to. We are in the process of looking for a home, which is hard on me because I only get a couple a of good hours a day, but, I have hope,,,,and that is some "powerful medicine." Get out, get out!!!! This horrible situation will only make you sicker. My finacee is more than I could have ever hoped for,,,,my daughter was very cold to him at first, but, now is looking forward to us all becoming a family. Rosemarie, things will never get better where you're at, do yourself the toughest and biggest favor in the world,,,,LEAVE and have peace of mind,,,,it will be tough but worth it in the long wrong. Best of Luck,,,,Tulip