Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by budmickl, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I have talked about my furry baby and the problems he has now that he is in the 'assisted living' phase of life. He will be 14 yrs at the end of the year.

    He is blind, he is deaf, he can hardly walk.

    And he has lost control of his bladder and bowels. I don't know that he's lost control exactly, he seems to go in the same areas, but he is my guy that could go 14 hrs without an accident. Now, he can't even let me know if he needs to go out.

    Are these symptons enough to warrant putting him down. He sleeps 20+ hrs a day. He doesn't play with me or Sam (his furry brother). He eats and drinks, but mostly when I pick him up and put him by the bowls.

    What would other's do? Any thoughts and ideas are appreciated.

  2. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    We had to have 3 fur babies put to sleep within 2 years and it was a hard call to make each time. With the second, we left it too long and he was in agony by the time the vet called, it happened so quickly, the pain came on so fast.

    If he's losing control of his bladder and bowels then I think its time to go, I think loss of dignity comes with this, an animal who has been clean, who has always let you know he needs to go out, this is probably worse for him than losing his sight and hearing.

    It's so difficult, whatever you do, you'll wonder if it was the right time because our pets can't tell us how they're feeling.

    So sorry you have to make this decision.

  3. sisland

    sisland New Member

    It's the sort of thing that you don't want to deal with i know ,,,,,But i have to agree with Rosie,,,He's probably not enjoying his life anymore at all with being deaf and blind! and now the incontinent thing,,,,,,yes i would let him go into a peaceful place,,,,,,,Hugs,,,sis
  4. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    I am so sorry! I know this is such a tough decision. I will pray for you. I would think that it is probably time to let him go. My neighbor just had to put down her dog (also 14) who would only eat if she put him by the bowl. Soon after her 13 yr. old cat did the same. She took the cat to the vet, and it passed away over night.

    I have a kitty, and I think if I knew the end was near, I would put her down. Have you called your vet, I am sure they would have the best answer for you.

    Thinking of you and your furbaby, Kim :)
  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I know it's hard to make this kind of decision. In Oct, 2004 Bud, my older dog started loosing weight even though he was still eating. It was cancer. I didn't want to believe the vet so I took him to a specialist. $500 later, he confirmed that it was cancer. He said we could operate but he was still going to die from it. So I did nothing, just brought him back home and loved him. He actually started gaining weight, I was sure he was better. By mid December, he was loosing weight again. I had to carry him to his food and hold him up outside to go pee and poop. I put him down Dec 22. He was almost 14 yrs old also.

    I guess if I knew Mick had cancer or something, it was be easier. But old age, blindness and deafness doesn't seem fair.

    I think I'll just make another appt with the vet and have him do another exam. But I really do think it is time.

    Thank God I have Sam, my 2 yr old.

  6. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    You could ask the vet what he would do if it was his pet -

    vets over here are very reluctant to say outright if they think a pet should be put to sleep and that doesn't help in the decision making.

    love Rosie

  7. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    The vet that I have been with for 10 yrs, has left the clinic. He assured me that Mick wasn't 'sick' other than old age. I am going to make an appt with a new vet, and see what they say.

    Sometimes, there is blood in his stools. Like little drops of blood, or blood in mucis. (Sorry, don't mean to gross anyone out).

    I just want to know if I put him down, it's not because I don't want to continue cleaning up after him, carrying him outdoors and back in, you know, because of selfish reasons. But I don't want to keep him here if he is really at that point to let him go.

    Thanks for you insight.

  8. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I completely understand what you're saying about the messes. It really isn't about that and don't worry that someone else is thinking that way.

    It's like someone else said, the loss of dignity.... your dog can no longer take care of his own basic needs such as going potty outside or even in a designated area (like a pad) in the house.

    It's time....

    Bless you for being such a wonderful and responsible pet owner. Unfortunately, this is one of the kindest things pet owners can do...recognize that it's time and make this very difficult decision.


    Nancy B
  9. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    It is time to let him have given him a happy life, let him have a dignified, peaceful death.

    Love and hugging you, Jana
  10. tabt

    tabt New Member

    I, just like the others who responded, know from personal experience how hard this decision can be.

    In my case it was my cat and beloved companion of 17 years.
    When things got bad, I had just moved to a new city where I knew no one and had to make the decision completely on my own. The vets were never sure what was wrong, but after the usual tests suggested that aggressive radiation
    might help. I said no because it would have required driving 2 hours to get to the vet who did the treatments
    and my cat hated to be in a car for even 10 minutes. I also asked myself if this radiation, with its side effects were something that I would want to have done to me. The answer was no.

    I tried a change of diet from dry to wet food and for about 6 months it actually helped a lot. However, after that things went downhill quickly and she stopped walking, eating and lost control of her bladder and bowels. I knew, in my heart, that my very fastidious cat could not have been happy lying in her own urine while I was at work.

    I called the vet and they explained that the euthanasia
    consisted of one shot that would my put cat into a peaceful, painless sleep and that the final shot would not be administered until after she was already asleep. I was free to stay with my companion for all, part or none of this process. I chose to stay for the first shot and held her in my arms until she went to sleep.

    You said that your companion could not walk and I wonder if that could mean that he or she is in pain. If that is true, it might be better to end her suffering. However, you know what's best. It is clear from your post that you are not throwing her away because it is incovenient for you. You are coming from a place of deep love. Follow you heart. I do believe that our pets tell us when it is their time to let go.

    You will do the right thing and your companion will live in your heart always.

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

  11. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Thank you, each of you for your thoughts and words.

    This is definitely a decision that isn't easy. It's 1:40 AM and I can't sleep. All I want to do is go to bed and hug him. But he isn't comfortable with that, so when (if) I get to bed and asleep, he will lay next to my legs, all stretched out. I can't bare the thought it might be the last night I will have that.

    I know the way the vet will euthanise him is gentle and humane. I held Bud in my arms till he was gone. Then I took him to Rolling Acres for creamation. It was like I got to say good bye to him again privately.

    I can't type anymore right now, it's too hard.

  12. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    My daughter wrote this poem when we faced this decision with our beloved cat Sophie... She was 14 at the time she wrote it

    All your suffering
    Soon will end
    To all your needs
    God will tend
    For all the darkness
    you now see
    That's where light
    Soon will be
    For all the love
    That you have shown
    Up in heaven
    shall your wounds be sown
    Here on earth
    In pain you lay
    Up in heaven
    in peace you'll stay
    Here on earth
    We mourn for you
    Because our feelings
    Are so torn for you
    To cry
    your presence forever ceased
    or to rejoice
    for your life is forever


    Nancy B
  13. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I am hugging you and God is hugging us. I believe He is near you in this sad time. I know you can do it, as a last act of love for your baby...Jana

    The grief is natural, don't try to hold it back..
  14. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I'm so sorry, it is always so hard to leave the ones we love... much less make such a decision.

    I have been thru this with many of my own over the years... it is the humane thing to do, I believe. I would think any humane vet would agree.

    We had a 10 yo Great Pyrenees that we could not tell was suffering until she had 'paw drop' - had x-rays and found out most of the upper leg bone was eaten up by cancer. No one could tell the pain she must've been in, she was so stoic, was a bit stiff at times but otherwise 'normal'. A year later the exact same thing happened to our rottie at 11 ...

    dogs usually are so stoic(!) that it is truly hard I think to know just how much they are suffering.

    Know you're doing the right thing...
    all the best,

    (Nancy B, that was truly a beautiful poem your daughter wrote!)

  15. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Hugs4evry1 - That was a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it with us.

    Jana - It's just so hard to know what's right to do. Especially when in the throws of depression.

    Victoria - That is what I'm afraid of... that Mick is suffering. The vet that I have trusted for many years kept telling me that if he was in pain, he would let me know. I don't believe him. He is no longer at the clinic because of a lawsuit against him. That makes me wonder...

    I haven't made any decisions yet, but I do know the end is near.

    Mick (and Bud and Miller) has had the BEST life I could give them. That is a comfort to me. Who else would drive from Toronto to Kansas City just to get them groomed? I didn't trust anyone else.

    I think I will make an appointment with a new vet, one that my daughter uses. I need a 2nd opinion from a vet who isn't wrapped up in my emotions towards Mick.

    Thanks to everyone who has helped me here, it's so reassuring to know I'm not alone in the love of my pets.

  16. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Your post brings tears to my eyes. Many hugs to you! ((((budmickl)))) It's so special to love and care for a pet for so many years, feel that unconditional love returned and feel such a wonderful bond. Oy vey! I know what you're going through.

    My family got two cats when I was 16 years old. One of them lived for 14 years, and the other one lived for 19 years (amazingly!) and passed away last summer. We STILL can't stop talking about him. They latch onto your heart and won't let go.

    Your choice (obviously) is that you could put him to sleep now or let him continue to go on the way he is for a little while longer and let him die naturally. The question to me would be one of COMFORT. Given all the things you mentioned, I don't think he's comfortable anymore and should be put to sleep. There come the tears again! I know it really hurts to make the choice.

    Know that he loves you and that you gave him such a wonderfully happy life. What more could a pet want? My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

    Soft hugs,


  17. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I have tears flowing again too. I am sitting here looking at Mick asleep on his pillow in the computer room.

    I know the right choice and I will do it. I just have to be prepared myself, which is selfish.

    I will just always wonder if I could have done more to make him comfortable?

    Thank you for your thoughts and tears.

  18. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I am sitting with Mick on my lap, like I have for hours and hours. I just carried him outside to do his thing. He just laid down. It's over 100 degrees here. He just laid in the sun and dirt for about 10 min, then I picked him up and brought him back into the house. He's my guy that used to go out and run in the yard and play.

    I have had him to the vet's several times in the last few months and all he tells me is... he has entered the assisted living phase of life. He has assured me that Mick isn't in pain, and doesn't have cancer and isn't sick, other than old age. I just don't know if that is true.

    Mick, I just can't imagine not having him around. He is (was) my licker and barker. Not any more..

    I appreciate your words.

  19. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member


    You aren't being selfish at all. Being prepared emotionally and in all other aspects is being a responsible pet owner. You are taking care of Mick (and certainly always have) in the best possible way.

    I think there's always a sense of guilt at the end of a pet's life of "could I have done more?" Our cat always lived at my parent's house, but I was still so emotionally attached to him, and he always got so excited to see me.

    When our sweet cat passed on, my parents expressed the same sense of guilt you are feeling now---could they have done something more? And really, they just couldn't have. Our darling cat had just lived out his long happy life.

    His brother kitty lived 5 less years. I think animals like people have different life spans. Some will go to all lengths and expense to save their animals (I can see why because we get so attached), but to me, I think it's better to let go and let nature take it's course.

    Do in your heart what you think is right. Be kind to yourself. This isn't an easy situation.

    Sending you more hugs,

  20. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Thank you all.

    Mick is not a litter mate. I first got Bud who I put down 12/05 due to cancer. Mick was an only child till 11 mts ago when I adopted Sam. All of them are shis tsu's.

    Sam and Mick eat the same foods and Sam is fine. There wasn't any chocolate or anything like that for them to get into, that I know of.

    I am going to make an appt with a specialist who does accupuncture and 'whispering' to see if she finds something more than old age. If not, then I'm not going to do anything right now. Just keep a good supply of rags and carpet cleaner handy to clear up his messes.

    In 1992 I had to put down my rotweiller/chow mix due to hip displaysia. IF I HAD $5000, we could have had hip replacements done. But I didn't. And I feel so bad about that.

    When I had Bud put down in Dec, 2005, he was in pain, lost weight, couldn't get up or stand up. They could have done surgery, but he would have died anyway, so after loving him for the 3 mnths from the diagnosis I knew it was time to let him go.

    I guess I just need to know that there isn't anything more I can do for Mick. Then I will know what I have to do.

    Thanks to everyone who has responded. It is like a knife in my chest to think about this. I have cried for the last 4 days and nights.


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