toxic family need to move

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cinnveet, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. cinnveet

    cinnveet New Member

    I am in a horrible flare. I also have lupus and i am in a lupus flare also. I cant stand living here, my family except for mom & dad are toxic to me with their drama. I have already moved my son from florida to pa. we are trying to fix the house up to rent it until the market changes then sell it. we want to move to pa and live with my husbands sister who has the room for the 3 of us. My husband is working so hard.
    I will have to fly back and forth until house is ready for rental. I have no energy, i push myself to help my husband. my house is such a mess and my body just cant do it. my energy will last for maybe 30 min's and i have to lay down. this flare has been for 2 months now and no signs of it getting better only worse.
    I dont know how i can help and feel so depressed that i cant do anything. I am stuck in a neck brace from my recent spinal surgery.
    It is so hot here in florida that if i go outside it burns the butterfly rash on my face. the only thing i want to do is lay down and rest. but my mind is going so fast of things that have to be done for me to get back up to pa to be with my 12 yr old son. I need to register him at school up there.
    I have to find out if SSI will allow me to have 2 address's until we are finally settled in. Dont know what to do. I feel so alone.
    Please send any advice.
    cin
  2. nink

    nink New Member

    To state the obvious, you really have your hands full.

    I am worried about you because it sounds like you are close to full burnout. If you can't, don't, or won't acknowledge and respect your body's limits, it will just keep getting worse and worse until...(lots of possibilities: winding up in ER or hospital, increasing pain and exhaustion until you literally can't move anymore; and others I'm sure have gone through your mind)

    I don't think there is any way you can have more than one address of record with SSI. Isn't your benefit deposited directly into your bank account? That's the safest way, anyway, and should give you full access to your money as long as you have a checking account and an ATM card. Banks vary in services. My bank has a great account as long as I have a direct deposit made to it every month: free online banking, free use of any ATM, free checks.

    This message will self-destruct in about 24 hours.
  3. cinnveet

    cinnveet New Member

    Living in Florida we have what is called "snow birds" they are people who live 6 months in Florida during winter, then go back up north during summer. These are usually elderly people that are SSI, I am sure they must have Dr.s in both states. I guess my best bet is to call SSI and ask them directly.
    I am struggling with high anxiety, and no energy. I havnt told my parents that we are going to move as that would hurt them so bad as I have been helping my Dad to pay bills as my mother is in early stages of alzhiemers. I dont want to hurt my parents, but the drama from
    the rest of the family is not a place I should raise my 12 yr old son.
    I feel more at home when I am staying at my sister in laws house as she is my best friend.
    Today when I strained for bowel movement I instantly had electrical shocks running across my chest, down my arms, and in my shoulder blades. At that time I wasnt wearing my neck brace.
    Most of the symptoms have settled down but I still have tingling in chest and arms.
    My husband wanted me to make sale stickers for our items we sale at an antique store. I couldnt write. It looked like a 2nd graders writing. I felt like such a looser, that I couldnt even do a simple task to help my husband.
    I feel my self slipping into an isolation of depression. I dont have anything left in me to help with anything.
    I feel so sorry for my husband working so darn hard to bring income to the family and take care of me at the same time.
    HOW DO I STOP MYSELF FROM SLIPPING INTO AN ISOLATED DEPRESSION?
    I really need advice and help from this forumn. Time for me to lay back down again. I will be back and I hope there are more people out there to read this and help me thru it. I greatly appreciate the responses that I have gotten.
    God Bless,
    Cin
  4. nink

    nink New Member

    Of course, that's not unusual for me!

    Are you concerned about how you will receive your SSI benefits while you are "between states?"
    Or are you concerned about getting health care with Medicare in both states? You can go to any physician, medical clinic, ER, etc. in the country who either accepts Medicare or Medicare assignment and be covered. (Assuming, of course, that the physician is accepting new patients. They are not "allowed" to discriminate - to decide that they have too many Medicare pts and not accept any more Medicare pts, but how is anyone other than his office staff going to know?)

    Medicare assignment means you have to pay up front and Medicare will send you a partial reimbursement after the claim is processed. It's a little more expensive (out-of-pocket costs) than medical facilities that accept Medicare.

    Hope this clears things up for you