Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by stinker56, Oct 31, 2005.

  1. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    I woke up this morning knowing there were several stores I needed to go to and get some shopping done I had put off far too long. I started out with the furtherest one away and worked my way back toward home. I have to go to the next town to buy much of anything so I sit down this morning and mapped me out a path along with each thing I needed to do at each location in order to save my energy as best I could. All the stores I went to to begin with had no shopping carts and I knew it would be tireing so that is why I started my venture there. My last stop was Wal-Mart where I needed some things that would be practically all over the store. When I arrived, I asked the greeter if there was an electic chair I could use. She said with a look of disgust on her face, NO!. I could tell my the look she gave me that she thought I really didn't need one to begin with. This would have been my first time to try one out and I was nervous about it to begin with. I took a shopping cart and started out walking leaning on the cart as I was already worn out from the other shopping I had done. One of the other employees had overheard the conversation on my entry and followed me a short distance and offered to go to the other entry of the store and see if a cart was available for me there which there wasn't but it was so nice that she took the time and effort to find out. She could see that I was not just asking for one because I was lazy. I could barely make it thru the store and do my shopping. I am thankful for the kindness she showed me and am trying to overlook the rudeness of the first greeter who judged me before she even knew if I really needed one or not. Just because we don't look like we are disabled does not mean we don't need a little extra help along the way. Will this ever change or will people always look at us as though there is nothing wrong? I was just wondering if anyone else has ever had this problem?
  2. lmmillion

    lmmillion New Member

    but I was just thinking about this subject yesterday. I went to a birthday party and more than one person commented on how good I looked and that I must be doing well. This drives me nuts! I try to fix myself up and look as good as possible, even though I don't feel perfectly fine. I always end up feeling like people don't believe there's anything wrong with me because I don't go around looking sloppy and sickly. There have been times in the past where I was so sick and probably didn't spend much energy fixing up. I remember someone commenting one time that I look so much better nowdays than when I first got sick. I think I feel the same as I did back then.. The difference is that I've gotten used to feeling this way and just make more effort to keep myself looking presentable. It's reached a point where I make sure not to put on makeup or really fix my hair when I'm going to the Dr. I think that if I look ok, my Dr. might not believe the severity of my pain. It's too bad that those of us with this ailment have to always convince others that there really is something wrong. I totally understand how you must have felt at the store.
  3. JencyH

    JencyH New Member

    I empathize with both of you. If people seeing you look decent one day, they think you are "ALL BETTER" or that you are some kind of goofball or a hypochondriac. I understand about when ya go to the doctor...i had that happen to me where one or two doctors have said how well i must feel. If they know this condition, don't they realize we never feel good. I hate to say this but it is always going to be this way. I thought my sisters and older nieces finally understood, but there are still comments made. Do they really think i ASKED to have this life? I had a great job for 22 years and good friends, but seems like i'm so isolated. What can we all do?
  4. codinqueen

    codinqueen New Member

    I have had the same reaction when I attempt to use the electric carts at various stores. I have found that since I had knee surgery and have to use a cane to get around, that the disdainful looks have stopped, and I can only surmise that the difference is the cane I have to use. My advice is to buy a cane from a thrift store for a couple bucks, or from a drugstore for about $20 to $30.00 and take it with you to the stores. It stops those awful looks and the occasional verbal backlash I have received when I use the "disabled" parking spaces too. Despite the fact that I have and use a handicapped parking permit that hangs from the car's mirror, there are actually people out there who will yell " You don't look disabled to me" when I am not using the cane. I plan to use it even after the knee heals, at least when I go to the store. It has become an effective security blanket to me.
  5. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    .That greeter should not have ? you he or she should have gladly just given you a cart.

    Also if there are none available he / she should send you to the customer service podium in front of the lady's department to see the CSM for an associate to help you get your shopping done . This is normal practice for good customer service,especially at wal-mart

    Next time you go to that store ask for a manager tell them what happened perhaps the associate was new and was not sure.And needs more training trust me he or she will not get terminated they will just get more training.

    You are the customer and no associate in any store whether its Wal-Mart or target have any right to judge you.

    Complain next time in a calm nice way so the associate can be trained in the right way so no other customer has to suffer as you did

    Just my 2 cents worth.Because I also look OK .But I am disabled .I will not allow anyone to judge me.And I no longer explain my condition to anyone its none of there business.I do not need to explain why, were or what.You will treat me with respect.It is my right as paying customer.

  6. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    I really appreciate this board and knowing that other people care. Thank you so much for understanding and letting me know I am not alone. You are wonderful people.

    LEFTYGG Member

    everyone always tells me how good i look it is aggravating but i guess its better than looking bad. most dont dare how you feel any way
  8. Pillsick

    Pillsick New Member

    I feel the same as every one who has posted before me, I'm fed up of people looking at me and making assumptions as to the state of health,(I also have crohns to add to the misery of fatigue and in the winter months S.A.D too.)Just because I dont look pale and emaciated dosent mean I'm fit and well. I try not to make too big a deal of my health problems were others are concerned, but I'm still hurting and I still have sores in the mouth and memory troubles *sigh*
  9. joc_07

    joc_07 New Member

    Hi, I can definately understand what you are going through. Although, I am 24 and can you imagine what people think if I actually asked for a wheelchair if I walked into a store.

    I live in a town so I can usually park close to where I have to go. But then we go into the city which is 2 hours away for special trips. I usually have a miserable and painful time.

    I tend to sit on every bench all the way across the mall, which I'm sure my fiancee or friends must hate. And the 2 hour trip is a killer on the back and leg.

    We definately need to get that stigma of "if you look good, nothings wrong with you" erased from peoples brains.

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